Aria of the Moonless Night
by Hector Enix
Summary: After accidentally waking up the No-Life King and offering him a way out of his eternal life, Naruto finds himself as the new No-Life King. As it turns out, Shinobi and Vampires have a lot in common. Semi-Dark, Vampire, super Naruto
1. Prologue: Death of the NoLife King

Hello My Freaky Darlings!

I've decided, after a run-in with my old Friend Alucard(The One from Hellsing, not the voice in my head that governs my Sorrow), that I'm going to write a Vampire Naruto story. Now then, is he going to be whiny? No. Is He going to sparkle? I'll shoot myself if he does. Is he going to be bitten, or inherit Vampirism as a Kekkei Genkai? No.

"But Hector,", you may ask, "If he isn't bitten, or isn't a nosferatu by birth, how are you going to make him a Vampire?"

My Freaky Darlings... You should learn to have a little faith. I'll be doing something hopefully unique, and based off of my understanding of the Hellsing Manga and Anime. Ever wonder how Alucard became the first Vampire? I'll tell you, though it's probably a little off... oh well, Fanfiction opens a wide margin for error so long as the boot finds the ass.

And I assure you, the boot shall find many an ass.

A quick note, as I know I promised Two 45 Caliber Desert Eagles. He's not going to be using guns, and will instead us swords, daggers, kunai, and pretty much anything with a sharp edge. His main weapon will be a O-katana to fit his size. Secondary weapons? (Alucard-like grin)

I do not own Naruto or Hellsing.

* * *

His entire world was darkness; it had been for hours, a seeming eternity for the eight-year-old. The most recent mob had stuck a torch into his mouth and his eyes, leaving him blind and unable to eat or drink without extreme pain, though he hadn't tried.

He didn't know where he was, only that there was grass under his bare feet at the moment, and that most of his mouth had healed, though he still couldn't taste anything. He felt a fair amount of pain every time he put weight on his left leg, and figured it had been broken and was it the process of healing.

He cleared such thoughts from his head, focusing on trying to remember something that might let him know where he was without sight; some smell or how high the grass felt. Nothing helped. All he knew was that the attack happened near a gate.

He stumbled on for what felt like hours, finding few obstructions in his meandering path other then the occasional tree; that alone didn't help, Konaha was full of and surrounded by trees. Then, his foot touched down on stone.

The only reason this was remarkable in anyway was the smoothness of the stone, and the multiple stones adjacent that felt identical; like he was standing on a walkway.

"Walkwaysh go plashesh.", Naruto muttered to himself, tongue still screwed up. He felt renewed hope as he took a step forward, though the good feeling quickly disappeared when the ground gave way. Gravity tends to fill you up at that point.

(Two hours later... what? He landed on his head...or a big fucking rock hit him...GRAVITY!)

Naruto had awoken a few minutes prior, having regain just enough of his vision to know it was dark. Light filtered down from the hole above, but Naruto, after trying, knew he couldn't reach the top.

He had resigned himself to walking further, finding that he was in some sort of corridor. If he stretched, his fingers could almost touch both walls. Confident that he wouldn't miss much if he stuck to one wall, he let his left side rest against it's wall as he moved on, finding his returning vision becoming black once more.

It was getting cold and dank as he moved on, putting one foot in front of the other in the darkness. He let his eyes close –or at least he thought he closed them, as the darkness didn't change –and trusted the wall to guide him to whatever end this hall had.

Luckily, he had the sense to have his other hand out in front of him, to prevent himself from walking into a wall, which was exactly what it hit.

_'No... it's not stone...'_, he thought to himself, feeling the cool metal against his fingertips. He pushed against it lightly, and it moved a little, though it was heavy.

He let go of the wall and put his meager weight behind his push, finding the door moving very slowly inward with a loud squeal all the way.

When the gap was large enough to fit through comfortably, he stopped pushing and stepped through, quickly finding the air was much colder in here. However, a dripping noise reached his ears, and a sudden realization of his parched throat hit him.

When he turned to face the noise, his foot caught a rock and he tripped, and although he wasn't injured, his right hand's fingertips were touching a cool liquid a foot or so in front of him. He dragged himself forward and prayed it wasn't some sort of hallucination.

He leaned his face down until his lips touched the liquid and sucked a little in; it was real, though he couldn't taste anything yet. Deciding that not tasting the water was fine, and he started to drink, glad for the life-saving liquid.

Crimson eyes stared at the child in front of him, drinking from the pool that surrounded him. The sound of the door and the child's heartbeat had awoken him, and only the sight of this starved, and apparently blind, child drinking the blood stopped him from having his first meal in centuries.

"Who are you?", the ancient Vampire asked, making the boy freeze. He slowly looked up with partially blinded eyes, Alucard noted, and tried to make out his form. After a moment he went back to drinking, though the old Hellsing Vampire could hear his thoughts. "I'm not one of the villagers, and I'm not a hallucination. Who are you?", he asked again.

"It doesn't matter.", was the quiet response. Naruto found the feeling of his tongue had returned, but the taste buds were still numb.

"...What year is it?", Alucard asked, looking at the room's state of disrepair. Just how long had he been asleep?

"The year of the Bat.(I Don't care if it's not a real year. My story, my rules)", Naruto offered, finding that the more he drank, the thirstier he became.

"The numerical year. 2005, 2050, what?", he asked, starting to become slightly annoyed.

"1023 AFS", Naruto quickly said, trying to make himself smaller. He was glad Sarutobi had told him the year.

"AFS?", Alucard asked. Even if the world had altered directly after he fell asleep again, that was still 1023 years of sleep. He looked to his hair to find it was dripping blood, and was the rest of his body, which seemed to be half-shadow at this point.

"I-it stands for After the First Shinobi.", he added, wondering why he didn't know that.

Alucard looked to his hands to find that the white gloves that had once bound him to the Hellsing family were gone; they would only be gone if...

"Hellsing is gone.", he whispered, more for confirmation then anything else. He was free... but the gravity of the situation stole anything akin to joy from his hollow heart. _"Sir Integra, Walter, Seras... They are all gone..."_

Seras might have lived, but if this world had gone through an apocalypse it was doubtful. Only he was truly immortal...

He looked at the blood around him, seeing the shadows that swirled in it. The blood of a million humans... and the source of his power. He almost laughed as the human tried to quench his thirst on it; only vampires could quench their thirst with blood.

His eyes widened as he remembered his past, and his own ascension to No-Life King. The Blood of his burnt homeland and countless soldiers, coursing over his tongue and changing his being. All he was now was Blood and Shadows, and by the look of it, the millennium long sleep had apparently taken the ability for the two to remain separate away.

"Why are you in such a sorry state? Why have you been bleeding?", he asked, wondering if his death could be so simple. But he couldn't force it; it had to be the boy's choice.

"...The villagers call me a demon... If they catch me doing almost anything, they chase me and beat me. This time, they stuck a torch in my mouth and eyes...", he lamented, pausing in his drinking.

"I bet you want revenge... to watch them bleed by your hand, to put them through agony eternal?", he suggested, measuring the boy's response in the darkness.

There was a long pause before Naruto answered.

"I don't want to hurt them...", he started, and Alucard almost cursed; that was the only way he could get the boy to end him. "... but I want revenge..."

"And what revenge do you seek?"

"...I want to live... I want to walk down the streets, and have everyone see me and know they'll never be able to hurt me or escape me... I want them to have to respect me.", Naruto said, saying respect with more venom then Alucard had heard the word used with before.

"And what would you be willing to do for revenge?"

"Anything...", he said, starting to try and drink again.

"Then drink, and leave not a drop. Do not stop, and do not look; drink every drop, and the world will be forced to see you as the next No-Life King.", he said. He laid down, and slid into shadow form.

He didn't have enough energy though, after the extended hibernation, and he felt himself trying to solidify. He forced himself to be a shadow, and in a few seconds he felt something snap.

He was falling, and every soul he had drained was with him, but there was only one other thing that he knew about his current situation:

A mortal had killed him.

He had looked through his memories, and after everything the boy had endured, he knew that he hadn't damned the boy; he had given him the ability to live, and because of that, Alucard had finally learned how to die.

As he fell, he almost smiled.

"I should have gotten his name."

* * *

Short, but this is just the set up. Yes, Alucard was the last Vampire(Ironic, isn't it?), and because he was so weak(You try going a thousand-and-a-half years without eating!), he found himself able to die. Why was he able to die? Because, after killing thousands with his vampirism and stealing several from death's embrace, he let Naruto drink the blood of a million victims and because it would give him a better life, he found himself able to die.

I know it might have been a "weak" way to kill Alucard, but it's 1 AM; cut me some slack.

As for another question that may arise: No, Naruto doesn't have any of the souls that Alucard did; he took them all with him to the afterlife. Don't worry, Naruto will have plenty of his own before too long.

Don't worry about the length; chapter 1 will be longer :)

Ja Ne, My Freaky Darlings!


	2. Naruto Hellsing Namikaze

Good Evening, My Freaky Darlings... I bid you Welcome.

A cookie for those of you who get that joke :)

A quick note for those of you who question the simplicity of Alucard's death: This is after he absorbed Schrödinger, and because of that, if he wanted to die like he did, he could. Simple, right?

Now then, a few things I forgot to mention last chapter:

Naruto was born 4 years earlier, and the Kyuubi attack also happened four years earlier.

Naruto didn't get ANY souls when he drank Alucard's blood. He got bits and pieces of his more recent memories(Hellsing and Hellsing OVA), but nothing really coherent.

The Academy graduation age is 16, and everyone, save for Naruto and Sasuke, wears their clothing from Shippuden.

Tsunade is the Hokage, and Sarutobi is her advisor. The council is still corrupt... at least the civilian half.

One last thing, to all of the shitheads out there that don't like the rule of "My Story, My Rules". Every story on this site follows that. If they don't, it's canon, and not fanfiction in the slightest. If a character says one word that they don't in the normal canon storyline, it's following the rules of the author. If you can't tell at this point, I'm pissed. So I'll say this one more time: **My Story, My Rules.** If I say Orochimaru's head explodes for no reason, his fucking head explodes for no reason. If I say it's because a random sniper shot him, then all I can say is BOOM HEADSHOT!

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Hellsing. The sword, Whedabra, is mine, along with it's powers.

* * *

Jaro Suikaze was confident that he was safe, no matter who Konaha sent after him; a stronghold with walls that couldn't be climbed or jumped, traps and guards filling every hall, several escape routes, and here, in his "throne room", he had six A-ranked missing ninja acting as his bodyguards.

That's right, he was perfectly safe from whatever assassin Konaha had sent. An hour ago, a trap had gone off near the gate, and a scream that barely reached the room, alerted them that one assassin had failed. Jaro was calm, but his bodyguards were still tense.

"I don't see what you are so worried about.", he said, smoothing out his robes. "Someone died when the trap went off; we don't have to worry anymore."

"Indeed; with the guard who was stupid enough to walk into his own trap now dead, you're perfectly safe.", an eerily calm voice said from the shadows of the room.

A tall, dark clad figure stepped from the darkness, holding a head by the hair at his side. He held it up and bathed in the shocked gasps, resisting a dark laugh as they looked between the head and the dead sixth guard, still standing headless.

"Such competent guards you surround yourself with, Jaro Suikaze. Quite frankly I'm insulted.", he said, carelessly chucking the head away. He brushed a little of his neat black hair out from in front of his eye-slits. He saw the fear in their eyes at the sight of his Anbu bat mask; the Obsidian color, the crimson streaks that trailed down from the outer corners of his eye slits, mimicking bloody tears, and the alabaster fangs that poked out of the bat's lips.

"Nosferatu The Damned, Konaha's chief assassin. I'm going to enjoy cutting you in two.", one of the guards said, taking his massive Zanbatou off of his back. He saw that Nosferatu was wearing the standard Anbu Armor, albeit completely black, and only had a single weapon: an O-Katana that rested at the Seven-Foot-Scarecrow's hip. He was tall, but not broad; speed not strength by the look of it.

"I'm afraid you won't be doing any cutting, given the fact that you're dead.", Nosferatu said, smirking behind his mask.

"I'm feeling pretty damn alive right now!", he shouted, the other guards taking up positions near him.

"Good. Then the increased beating of your heart will help the poison spread faster."

"What are y-!", he started, eyes widening as a massive pain in his chest shut him up. He dropped his sword and clutched at his heart. His eyes never made it though.

Nosferatu had moved at a lazy pace, considering what he was capable of, and had sent his katana through the man's throat and spine. He had to commend the man to his left though; he had reacted as soon as he disappeared instead of trying to see him while he moved at High-Jounin level speeds.

He caught the katana with his left hand and, in a fluid motion, broke it and shoved the blade through the side of the man's head with enough force for it to fly out the other side and stab another in the eye, penetrating his skull and entering his brain. Two left.

Nosferatu moved his blade to the right, tearing out of the first man's neck and deflecting the Zanbatou of another guard. The one that had moved behind Nosferatu seemed rather pleased when his katana pierced his chest. He looked surprised when living shadows poured from the wound, taking the form of a large mouth full of sharp teeth and surrounded by blood red eyes. The look of horror on his face as the jaws closed around his head was... invigorating.

He stabbed forward with his left hand, sighing as it plunged through the nuke-nin's chest. He pulled him closer and used his shadows to push his mask up a little before tearing into his throat with his fangs.

Jaro sprang up the moment that the first man had died, and found himself impaled by something from behind. He looked down to see a black blade, and looking behind him, he traced it to the wound that Nosferatu had, and the dead guards that fell around him. His last sights were Nosferatu drinking the Blood of one of his guards like a vampire, and a wider blade of shadows heading for his neck.

"Why is it all the strong ones taste like shit?", Nosferatu muttered, lowering his mask as the shrunken corpse was torn to shreds by his shadows. He walked calmed towards Jaro's head, wondering if the five second battle was really worth a half-million Ryo. "Better then letting him live. Slave rings, prostitution, rape, and let's not forget the bandit attacks you sent after merchants. Tch tch, you should have been more careful."

He grabbed the head by the hair and let his shadows flow back into him, sealing the wound, if it could even be called a wound. A casual flick of his blade left it clean of blood and marrow, and it soon found it's way into the sheath. He walked towards the shadows, intent on moving faster then any human could ever hope to.

Being the No-life King had it's perks.

(Konaha, ten minutes later)

Tsunade, after eight years of having dealt with his sudden appearances from seemingly nowhere, was unsurprised when the bat masked Anbu was suddenly sitting on her desk after she had blinked.

"Thirty minutes since I gave the kill order. I take it you didn't draw this one out.", she stated, looking up from her papers with a small smile. It slightly unnerved anyone who worked with the man that he could kill without it affecting him, but the Shinobi council couldn't deny his skill.

"I haven't had a cigarette in awhile, so I decided to be quick about it, Tsunade-sama.", he said, setting the severed head in her empty inbox.

"That's what I don't understand. You're a vampire, but you're more concerned with smoking then blood.", She said, sealing the head into a scroll and setting it aside.

"I am well supplied with blood, both from my missions and the hospital. Are you overly concerned with oxygen?", he said, taking out a cigarette. Tsunade had, after he started smelling like tobacco, forced him to start smoking the flavored ones that had a more pleasant scent.

"What have I told you about smoking in my office, Naruto?", she asked, annoyed look on her face. Naruto shrugged as he took his mask off and let it dissolve into shadows. He lifted the cigarette to his mouth and let it hang from the corner of his lips.

"I haven't lit it yet. Before I go, is there anything else the council wants me to do? I'm full at the moment and I can hear my coffin beckoning.", he half joked.

Tsunade sighed and shook her head, but raised her hand slightly to stop him from leaving.

"I might have a mission for you in two days time; I'm still getting it run through the council, but given what little you've let me know about you, this may prove to be your hardest assignment yet.", she said, taking on a serious tone. Naruto nodded, though Tsunade noticed that the vampire's eye sockets were usually dark; He often complained of Insomnia... had he missed sleep recently?

"I can't help but notice you didn't say dangerous.", he said, amethyst eyes seeming to bore into her soul. Not intentionally of course.

"It won't be dangerous for you, mister No-Life King.", Tsunade said, voice turning into a more mocking tone. Naruto bowed as though it was a compliment and stood straight, his head a few centimeters from the ceiling. "Now go and get some sleep; you look terrible."

"I feel as fine as I would any other night; but I shall try to heed your advice. Then again, my appearance is often called terrible by humans.", he said, smiling as he disappeared in a wisp of shadows that just wasn't there.

"Terrible... but beautiful.", Tsunade said, knowing that no matter what form he took, he could never quite get rid of the ethereal beauty that seemed to radiate from him; She wondered if that's why he loved his Anbu mask.

She looked down at the mission details in front of her and wondered if she was doing the right thing. In one way, this was quite possibly the dumbest thing she'd ever do, akin to putting a hungry snake in a cage full of blind mice; On the other hand, as Naruto didn't believe himself strong enough to take Orochimaru head on, this would delay the snake's plans and hopefully supply Naruto with more souls to strengthen himself with.

"Dammit...", she muttered, looking towards the Yondaime's face. "You were smart enough to know that you don't stop a zanbatou with a dagger. Still... Naruto is smart enough as well."

She half wondered if Naruto be angry after learning about this; the thought almost made her laugh. Angry? Probably. Scared? Definitely. Still, the twenty-year-old "King" had a heart of gold, even if it wasn't beating.

Besides, this was a sort of personal revenge for when he had scared her countless times.

"Vengeance is sweet... now let's hope he _doesn't_ kill anyone for a change."

(Namikaze Manor)

"She was right; I look terrible.", he muttered, looking at himself in a mirror. He had, on that night twelve years ago, received some of Alucard's memories, and right now he looked like the old No-life King. Though his eye sockets were much darker, and his eyes were amethyst, not crimson. "Perhaps it's time to change my form again."

He considered doing it then and there, but he decided to wait until he heard what Tsunade wanted him to do; He didn't like how she had worded it, and he might need a new face. Part of him wondered if he could use his 'real' face, if it could be called that; Original perhaps, but he doubted that even he could stand looking as his real face, one that reflected everything he was...

"I haven't been sleeping enough...", he muttered, walking towards his coffin, letting his Anbu gear turn back into shadows as he laid down in it. He brought the lid over him, and let it shut; the darkness held no secrets from him, and he could make out details as clearly, if not clearer, as he could in light.

His mind drifted to the last No-life King, wondering when he would become like Alucard. Maybe never; they were two different vampires. Perhaps in a few centuries he would see from the nosferatu's point of view.

"Seras Victoria...", He muttered, having seen her in some of Alucard's memories. A fledgling Vampire, a draculina, a nosferatu that didn't walk alone in the night. He didn't dare try and fathom the old vampire's reasons or feelings; the few memories were confusing enough. "If I'm lonely, I'll get a dog.", he muttered, his eyes snapping shut, though a smirk rested on his pale lips. "Or a bat."

(Two days later, Hokage's office. 10:34 AM)

"Early as usual, Eh?", Tsunade asked, looking up to see Naruto standing there. The darkness around his eyes seemed lessened; he had probably just awoken from a two-day nap.

"I'd rather stab before the opportune moment then after. Then again, I prefer not to stab at all if I miss the moment.", he said, his voice calm and smooth; he had definitely just awoken. "Now then, is the mission ready?"

Tsunade smirked and held up a manila folder, bearing both her seal and the council's.

"Naruto Hellsing Namikaze, aka Nosferatu the Damned... this may very well be the mission that is beyond you, and you may duck out once you know the details, but not after you have begun. Understood?", she asked, serious.

"Hai, Tsunade-sama.", came the reply. She must be serious if she was using Hellsing with his name.

"You know of Orochimaru's desire of a Sharingan host, and his failed attempt at Itachi?", she asked, setting the folder down and lacing her fingers together. At his nod, she continued. "He has his sights set on Sasuke; in all truth it's an easy job for him given the boy's revenge complex. However, we cannot protect Sasuke in a direct manner lest we alert the snake, and when Orochimaru makes his move, we need an agent so integrated into the system that it'll catch everyone off guard when they strike at old fang-face. Well, almost everyone."

"You wish me to make a surprise attack on Orochimaru?", he asked, not liking the idea. In a surprise attack, the odds of winning were 75 percent in his favor. Head on combat would tax him, and he wasn't strong enough for the odds to be to his liking.

"In a sense, but it must be done in a way that injures him, and makes him reconsider the situation. An Anbu captain as infamous as Nosferatu will draw his attention; a genin that's the Yondaime's son attacking and injuring him will make him think he's slipping, or make his even more paranoid.", she said, smirking when the realization dawned on Naruto. She was right, a fair bit of rage and terror filled his eyes.

"Tsunade-sama, you mean to tell me that I have to impersonate a genin and become part of a team just so I can protect Sasuke from afar?", He asked, mortified by the thought. "You know I can barely control my Bloodlust around most humans! You are one of the few I can fully restrain myself around, and everyone else starts looking like walking blood bags after awhile!"

"Naruto, if you don't want to do this, you can duck out. However, given your shapeshifting skills and power, you're the only one who can do this with a guaranteed success. However, I'd be lying if I said Sasuke was the only one to be protected. You're to be on, if you accept, team eight under Kurenai Yuuhi, a new jounin who won't recognize your chakra signature. Your teammates are to be Kiba Inuzuka and Hinata Hyuuga."

"You mock me; a human werewolf and two virgins, it's almost like you're trying to get me to lose it.", he said, slumping down into a chair and covering his eyes with his hand.

"And how do you know they're virgins?", Tsunade asked. Hinata was sort of obvious given her attitude, but Kurenai acted as any woman her age would.

"Call it Vampire intuition", he said, wondering why the hell she would even ask such a thing of him.

"So you refuse?", she asked, getting ready to put it away.

"I accept.", he suddenly said, making the Kage jump. She didn't think he would do it. "In all honesty, I should learn some measure of control now, while I'm young and full. Besides, I couldn't leave a defenseless girl like Hinata to fend against the famed perversion of the Inuzuka clan.", he added, trying to sound heroic. It was more to appease himself then Tsunade though.

"Are you sure? If anyone dies from some suspicious neck wounds, I can't stop the shit storm. The shinobi council and a few jounin are the only ones to know you're true identity; the shit storm will come from them, especially if one of the heirs is injured.", Tsunade warned, offering the mission folder. "Also, change your appearance; you need to be sixteen-ish and you should avoid looking like a famous Anbu agent."

"Is this better?", Naruto asked, form turning into shadows for a moment before they settled into a new form. "This is my original form."

His height, to Tsunade's displeasure, hadn't changed, though his shoulders seemed an inch or so thinner. Other than that, his frame hadn't changed. Everything else had. In place of the normal Anbu armor, he now wore an oddly designed trenchcoat, black in color(A black version of Vash's trenchcoat, though it has two sleeves. I think Vash's only has one). He seemed to have of some sort of baggy pants that were tucked into combat boots; both black, of course.

His skin had actually gain a little color, going from ash-white to pale white. His face was sharp and lacked any trace of fat, though a close inspection showed that the skin around his eyes was slightly darker then the rest. The amethyst orbs themselves hadn't changed, though Tsunade noted they seemed a little softer then normal; good, that meant he wouldn't intimidate anyone with a casual glance. His hair, once short and black, had undergone the most change in her opinion.

It now fell to the middle of his back, and was pure silver, almost glowing in the shadows. Tsunade found herself slightly entranced by the form he hadn't taken in eight years; it had matured while he was masquerading as the last No-life King.

"So what's my story?", He asked, putting his hand on his katana's pommel. Whedabra never left his side, no matter what form he took.

"Nosferatu came out of nowhere; he didn't have a back story, and despite being of Anbu Captain rank, he never took a team. No one, besides myself, knew what anymore than his mask looked like.", she said, a sort of roundabout compliment to his secrecy. It had made this easy. "You'll be the Yondaime's son, fresh out of private tutoring. If anyone asks, the Yondaime did piss off quite a few people, and "we" thought it would be best to train you in secrecy at first, instead of the Academy. You received above average training, and have acquired a bloodline for shadow manipulation; you're nowhere near mastering it. If they ask where you got it, it's up to you: vampirism or the Kyuubi. I'm not sure how either will go, so it's your choice."

"Kyuubi.", he said without a moment's hesitation. "When am I to meet my team, and what sort of time span will this take?"

"Kurenai-san will be stopping by the academy to pick up her team in an hour; you are to go to the Academy and wait for her with your teammates. As for a time span; we expect Orochimaru to strike during the chunin exams; until then, you had best play the part well. You don't need to bond, but the Rookie Eight, as they are called, should at least trust you.", Tsunade said, not knowing what else she could tell him. This mission was vulnerable to so many factors it wasn't funny.

"Hai. I shall depart immediately, Tsunade-sama.", he said, turning to the door for once.

"Oh, there is one more thing... stop talking like an Anbu. Just speak your mind; you aren't old enough to know what not to say, and your political status gives you some leeway with the clan heads. Just don't over do it.", she said, realizing her mistake when she saw the smirk on the vampire's face.

"Alright, ya crazy old bat.", he said, chuckling at the surpised look on Tsunade's face. There were a lot of things he didn't say to people, mostly out of respect or not wanting to cause too much trouble. She had just given him permission to say it all... and get away with it. The grin on his face as he left almost made the secretary shit herself.

(Ninja Academy)

"So Hinata-chan, looks like we're on the same team!", Kiba said, trying to hit on the Hyuuga girl. There was supposed to be a mysterious third member to their team, but he still figured that he would have Hinata all to himself.

Before she could reply, and ask him to leave her alone, the door flew open and the slam made everyone jump.

"Sorry about that; these doors are much lighter then the ones I'm used to.", Naruto apologized as he stepped through the door, scratching the back of his head. He had gotten a pair of wire frame sunglasses on the way over, and let them rest far enough down on his nose that only half of his amethyst eyes were above them.

"Hello, I'm Iruka Umino. Is there something I can help you with?", Iruka asked, slightly stunned by the man's height.(I feel I should make a quick note here: Naruto is just about a foot and a half taller than most people in konaha, give or take a few inches. EVERYONE has to look up at him.)

"I'm Naruto Namikaze; I'm here to await my sensei.", he said, smiling. He doubted that anyone could see it over his collar though, given the angles. Hearing a few murmurs at Namikaze, he handed over the letter that stated he had passed a genin equivalence test.

Iruka opened the letter and read through it; it was odd, but everything seemed to be in order.

"I can't say that I know exactly what to do, but you have a recommendation from the Hokage herself; Welcome. I take it you're the third member of team eight?", he asked, motioning to Kiba and Hinata.

"That's what Tsunade said.", he said cheerfully, walking over to the two.

Kiba swore under his breath; this might just throw a wrench in the gears of his elaborate plans to ask Hinata out. He was tall, mysterious, and had an enthralling presence; girls were going to throw themselves at him in droves. But not Hinata, she'd never go that low. Kiba smiled slightly at that thought.

Hinata didn't know what to think of this giant as he walked towards them. She admitted to herself that he was beautiful, a term rarely applied to men, and at first glance he looked kind. She felt a little a little heat in her cheeks as he stood before he and took a dramatic bow.

"I take it the beauty before me is none other then Hinata Hyuuga? Am I mistaken mi'lady?", he asked, keeping the bow at a level that let the two look each other in the eye.

"N-no.", she stuttered, flushing even redder. He straighten himself and looked to Kiba, trying not to tear either of their throats out.

"And that must make you Kiba Inuzuka. I heard you're skilled with your clan's jutsu.", he said, looking at the large dog that was sitting beside Kiba. "I take it this is your familiar?"

"Akamaru.", he said, feeling a little uneasy. He felt like he should be fighting this guy, not talking to him. Akamaru, at that moment, started growling at Naruto, bearing his fangs.

"Now that's not nice.", Naruto said calmly, looking Akamaru in the eyes. The dog settled down after a moment, but kept it's eyes on the vampire. _"Tch. Animals can always tell."_

"Hey, scarecrow.", a cool voice called from behind Naruto. It reminded him of a more arrogant version of a certain weasel masked Anbu he once fought alongside.

"Sasuke Uchiha.", he said, turning around to face the boy, who stood roughly six feet away near a desk. He chuckled when he saw the boy's hair thought. "You know, that's why Itachi-kun always wore his hair so long; it stopped it from looking like a duck's ass."

The "last" Uchiha froze at such a casual reference to his brother, shocked that this man had known him. Shock turned to anger.

"How do you know that man?", he shouted, closing some of the distance between them.

"Ninja don't tell all of their secrets Sasuke-san, and Itachi-kun might be upset if I told all of mine. He was the one who taught me some jutsu, and gave me my work ethic; it wouldn't do for me to go against what he taught me.", he said, smile infuriating the Uchiha before him. It reminded the Uchiha of an old painting of a mischievous Kitsune.

As if on cue, a black haired woman in a... unique red and white dress, stepped in the door and called for team 8.

"Ja Ne, Sasuke-san. Maybe next time you can avoid being such an ass, and maybe I'll avoid your questions.", he said, turning an walking out with Hinata and Kiba.

It took Sasuke a moment to realize that he had meant he would never answer his questions.

Sometimes being a nosferatu was fun.

(Main Street.)

"I was thinking that we could stop in a restaurant and get something to eat while we introduce ourselves.", Kurenai offered, after they had given their names. They were one mainstreet, and Naruto was hard pressed not to accept the offer; though his food might have been the waitress.

"I don't do very well in places full of people. Perhaps we could simply get some take out and go to the training field where we'll be training for the months to come?", he offered, using some of his power to make them go with the idea.

"That actually sounds a little better; get to know the area and all that, right?", Kurenai asked, liking the idea.

"Indeed. Why don't you and Hinata get the food; Kiba and I will head on to the field.", he said, turning to look at the Inuzuka heir. "Tell them what you would like, and let us be off.", he said. He needed to have a few words with the heir regarding his looks towards the heiress.

"Oh.. sure. One order of dango I guess; there's a stand a few blocks east that has some that are super cheap, but pretty good.", he said, handing over the money for the order.

"Naruto-san, may I ask why you've decided that Hinata and I are to get the food while you two continue on to the field?", Kurenai asked, sweet tone hiding her obvious question.

"I've had some... trouble in the past with Inuzuka's and their dogs. It's sort of personal, and I'd prefer if Kiba was the only one to hear it, though I suppose Akamaru will as well. It's nothing sexist, if that's what you're implying; It would just give us a few minutes to speak.", he said calmly, not even needing his powers to disarm the situation.

"I see, forgive my assumptions; too many shinobi think too little of Kunoichi for my tastes. I occasionally overreact to things.", she said, an apologetic smile.

"It's fine. I, myself, occasionally find such sexism in comments that aren't meant to hold any. But I digress, which training ground is it again?"

"Nine. Do you know where it is?", she asked. Naruto nodded and began walking off, Kiba following a few steps behind. She looked to the heiress beside her and smiled. "Be glad that you have at least one teammate that thinks with the proper head."

Hinata blushed at the implication, but nodded and walked off with Kurenai to get the food.

Kiba was uneasy; Naruto had been silent the whole way over. Now that they were here, he figure it would be a matter of seconds before the words would come. For some reason, that worried him.

"Kiba-san, I'm going to be blunt. My Bloodline makes animals very unsteady around me, just as you are. Akamaru will tell you that I am unnatural, and in a sense I am, but I assure the both of you that I am not like your instincts tell you.", he said, words coming out measured. "Secondly, you should abandon any feelings for Hinata-san."

"How did you-"

"Part of my Bloodline; it is irrelevant. I don't like saying that I can judge a person's soul at first glance, but the two of you would never work; it would cause little more then unneeded pain.", he warned, expecting the glare.

"And what? Are you perfect for her?", he growled out.

"Our relationship would crash and burn faster then your's. I'm telling you because we must work together; we need to be a unit, and feelings of love and lust combined, fresh or broken, will only get us killed. I do not expect you to give up immediately, but consider that you are sixteen; have you ever been out of the village?", he asked, a knowing smirk at the end that caught Kiba's attention.

"No...", he answered carefully.

"One day west of here, there's a small town. It's full of Bars, Casinos, and beautiful women. You're not interested in Hinata for her personality, are you?", he asked, smirk widening when he flushed. "Trust me, Hinata is the kind of girl who needs a relationship. Your the kind of guy who would love a day pass to a brothel."

"I guess...", he said, starting to feel a little guilty.

"I'll tell you what; first time we get a chance, I'll take you to Heeron; If you have a ninja headband, you're considered legal for all activities.", Naruto said, Fox like grin back in place while Kiba's jaw dropped.

"Y-you don't mean..."

"Look, I'm just trying to stop a train wreck before it happens. If all it takes is a quick trip to a brothel to show you there are all kinds of other women out there, I'll pay for the first night.", he said, tone light. He missed being able to be around people without the urge to kill them, but this was fine. He could see Kiba's soul, and had seen Hinata's; the two wouldn't work, and it would only make his job harder. A little vampiric suggestion here and there, a quick trip to a brothel to prove a point, and maybe teaching the boy how to talk to a woman without sounding like a drooling lecher would be a small price for smooth sailing. At least the heiress seemed to have her head on straight.

"You're joking... right?", Kiba asked. They had known each other for ten minutes and the guy was offering to take him to a brothel and pay for the first night. He'd heard of generosity, but damn.

"Kiba, I'm serious. I doubt we'd get a chance for a while, and your mother may very well try and kill me afterwards, but I don't like seeing people in agony"_'Unless I'm in the mood to hear some screams' _"And the thing about you and Hinata would cause nothing but pain, and possibly regret."

"You've known me for ten minutes, and you're giving me life advice like you're fifty-seven. What the hell?", Kiba asked.

"I never said you had to listen, but a while ago, I fell in love. It was sort of like your situation, and it ended quite painfully. Do what you want, but don't say I didn't warn you in advance. Now then, let's stop talking about such things; Kurenai-sensei and Hinata-san are almost here.", he said, pointing behind Kiba. The boy didn't need to know he had been lying about his past.

It took the heir a moment to turn to look; the _influence _had made his reactions dim a little. He'd be fine in a few minutes, but he wouldn't do something stupid involving Hinata. The girl would probably be glad for the change, but it's doubtful she'd ever learn of the exchange.

"Where?", he asked, not seeing anyone. Then he saw two small dots from a distance and his jaw almost dropped. "You can see that far?"

"Bloodline. They're a little fuzzy, but I can tell it's them.", he said, voice still cheerful. Unfortunately he was downwind of the two virgins, and judging from the smell of blood, one of them was on her period. Great. Just great.

"Helluva Bloodline. What's it called?", Kiba asked, interested. Akamaru muttered something like "Unnatural beast", but Kiba didn't catch it.

"Let our dear compaions come with the food first; I'd hate to have to explain multiple times.", Naruto said, pretending to shift uncomfortably. "It's sort of a... sore subject. Oh, and could you keep our little chat between us? Kurenai-sensei would be likely to castrate me if she knew I offered to take you to a brothel."

"Yeah, right after she was done lopping my nuts off.", Kiba joked, drawing a chuckle from his teammate. _'This might not be too bad... Kurenai-sensei seems like she can teach me a lot, Naruto-san is friendly enough, and Hinata... is just as friendly. Probably not willing to take me to a brothel, but still pretty friendly.'_

"We're here.", Kurenai announced, handing a small brown bag to Kiba. He thanked her before digging in.

"U-um, you didn't ask for anything, so we just got you an order of dango too.", Hinata said, meekly. She felt slightly intimidated and intrigued by Naruto, but he took the bag with a smile.

"Thank you, but I'm not hungry right now"_'Bullshit'_ "I'll save them for later. Unless you want them, Akamaru?", he offered. The dog cocked it's head to the side, not trusting the vampire... but it smelled so good... "A peace offering?"

Kurenai, Kiba and Hinata watched as the two seemed to have a silent, motionless conversation; Naruto with his fox-grin, and Akamaru with his head cocked to the side.

"You understand him?", Kiba asked, slight amazed. Naruto took out a single piece of the dango and let the dog take it from his hand. Once it had disappeared down his throat, Akamaru paused before licking Naruto's palm once.

"Well enough. You can speak; I can only listen and hope he understands my gestures. Still, Inuzuka dogs are intelligent; He won't trust me, and I doubt he ever will, but he can stand me.", Naruto said, tone still cheerful. He looked over to his teammates and let his smile widen. This might actually be fun.

(Hokage's office, Three hours later)

"You offered to take him to a brothel?", Tsunade said through her laughter. She had called Naruto up to report on the mission's first day, and so far it seemed like it would go better then she had expected. It was still kinda funny to see the "No-life King" sitting on the couch, a cherry cigarette hanging from one corner of his lips and a packet of AB+ hanging from the other. The sort of shaky look in his eyes as he somehow managed to both drink blood and smoke a cigarette without choking had struck the Slug Sannin as hilarious.

"Let it not be said I don't know how to make friends.", he muttered, throwing the empty packet into the trash before taking another drag. This was one of the few time Tsunade let him smoke in her office.

"Doesn't mean you have many.", She said, making the nosferatu sigh.

"I don't know; There's you, Kakashi-kun, Shizune-chan, Anko-chan, Ibiki-kun, Jiraya-kun, Kiba-kun, Hinata-chan, and Kurenai-chan.", he listed, counting his new teammates as friends. "My team didn't react too badly to the Kyuubi. They're good people."

"Neh, Naruto, why do you use kun so much? Most men avoid it.", she asked. She didn't talk to the vampire about personal things very often, and she had just noticed his use of it.

"Kun, to my understanding, is and affectionate term for a male. They are my friends, so why shouldn't I use Kun?", he asked, putting his cigarette out. "Unless you're referring to that sexual insecurity that most men have?"

"Yeah, that's what I'm talking about."

"I see.", Naruto said, flicking the butt out the window. "I'm straight, and nothing will change that. If people perceive me as homosexual because of word choice, it's a sad world that we live in.", he replied calmly, playing with another cigarette.

"Good to know that you won't be caught up in the normal sexual crisis that most teens go through.", Tsunade joked, getting a light chuckle from the vampire.

"Exactly. I'm quite aware that I'm straight, and if you don't believe me, you can ask Shizune-chan.", he said, getting ready to shadow-step the hell outta there.

"Why would-",Tsunade started, catching on half way. Her jaw dropped as Naruto nodded and smirked.

"As it turns out, I don't like her blood. Don't know why, but three hours after she cut her finger, we're lying on a broken bed frame. Ja Ne", he said, decided that he had dug the hole just deep enough to jump out of. He disappeared into the shadows just as Tsunade's fist flew right through the space where his head was.

She walked over to the intercom and pressed the buzzer. Shizune was like a daughter to her, and she was planning on giving them both hell.

"Send for Shizune, and tell her to hurry.", she said, noting the small piece of paper the laid on the couch. She walked back over and picked it up, eye twitching as she ready his beautiful handwriting.

_Hey, at least we used condoms... a whole box actually. _

_Ja Ne_

She half wondered if anything she could do to him wouldn't regenerate in a few seconds. Then Shizune walked in, oblivious to the situation.

"You called, Tsunade-sama?", she asked, slightly worried when her mentor turned with a glare.

"Mind telling me when you were planning on informing me that you bedded the most dangerous assassin in Konaha?", she asked, handing her the note. Shizune blushed and stuttered for a moment before calming enough to speak.

"Uh...um...I...uh...I'm gonna kill him. And Anko.", she said, facepalming.

"Anko? Why are you gonna kill her?"

"Because she was... there...too...", she said, blushing. "Oh... Naruto-kun left that out, didn't he?"

(Namikaze estate, basement)

Naruto suddenly felt a chill run down his spine as he settled into his coffin. Shizune had probably been summoned and had accidentally mention that Anko had a part in her first sexual experience... with Konaha's most dangerous assassin. It might be a while before Tsunade cooled off from this one, no matter how many times they would explain it was a one time thing.

"Oh well, can't say it wasn't worth it.", he joked, crossing his arms over his chest and letting his shadows close the coffin. He only hoped it wasn't nailed shut in the morning.

* * *

Hey there people, that's right, it's the end of chapter one. I've decided to try shorter chapters to see if it helps with the story's flow... or something like that. But hey, look at it this way: A forty-page chapter takes a few weeks to a month if I hustle. A sixteen page chapter like this took what, a day or so?

I'm not saying I'll update every day, but at least once a week should be doable, if not twice a week. With any luck, this might actually improve the quality, since I won't get burnt out and stuck on page 35 and leave it for a month, then come back with no idea what I was doing. This may end up taking a lot of attention away from my other stories, but if the quality improves, and I find I can manage this better, then it'll be worth it, okay?

A quick note about Naruto: He _does _want to kill his team and feast on their blood; he's just a good actor, has great restraint, and he's actually enjoying himself. To put it simply, it's like having a bottle of water on a table in front of you, and your job is to sit there, stare at it, and not drink it. And you have to smile and like it. Also, he is straight, though he may occasionally do something that might make you question that. The -kun thing is something I've seen many authors avoid, and that's alright. It's a matter of taste.

Now then, the pairing is undecided as of now, but I'll say this right now, to get you people off my back: The girl won't be from Konaha. There will be a period where it looks like it'll be Naru/Hina, but it's not. It's just a character depth... thing...kinda. Also, the thing with Shizune and Anko was sort of a joke; it actually happened, but I'm trying to give Naruto a side other then the seemingly aloof main character or the cold assassin; I want him to be able to do stupid little things like that, things that make you laugh or go "Didn't see that one coming.". This will mainly be done in little jokes that won't be often mentioned in the "main" story; Shizune may blush when Naruto winks at her, but I'm not going to tell the other characters why. No, it's not Naruto/Shizune either.

** I will take suggestions though, and will have a poll open for a week-ish; go to my profile to vote please, don't do it in the reviews**. Please note I may totally disregard the poll, or make the results into a new religion; I might just be in one of those moods lol.

As always, review please.

Ja Ne, My Freaky Darlings!


	3. Matters of Control

Hello My Freaky Darlings!

So good to see you again so soon! Still, not many have voted in the poll(As of me writing this; by the time it's posted, there may be more), but I'll give you the numbers at the end of the chapter.

Now then, another quick note before we get started: You'll notice I will occasionally remark on Naruto's desire to kill those around him. He loves to kill, though certain circumstances make a kill thrilling for him, but he has mixed views about the actions of the Shinobi of the world. I'll go into it in depth in a little bit, but keep in mind, no matter how relaxed or calm he is, he wants to kill.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Hellsing. Whedabra is Mine.

* * *

"Well I'll be blessed.", Naruto said, finding the lid to his coffin wasn't nailed shut. He got out of the large metal and wood box, glad for the classical style of it(the sort Dracula usually has; it widens near the top then narrows again.). He had half considered writing Alucard's poem on the lid, just as the first No-Life King had done, but had decided a while ago the he was no "Bird of Hermes". Still, he felt it could use a personal touch; the black exterior with gold designs, and the red silk interior were a little too generic for him. The only truly unique parts, given the fact he knew that other coffins like this existed, were the size and the layer of soil between the padding and the wood.

"One hour.", he muttered, looking at the clock. He stood up and walked towards the bathroom, stopping a few feet into the journey.

He turned an annoyed glare to the mirror beside him, reaching from floor to ceiling and showing nothing but an empty room. A moment of concentration later, followed by a burst of power filling him up from his center, and his reflection appeared in the mirror. If it weren't for the fact that his room was in the basement, he might have opened a window to make sure he had a shadow.

"I'm beyond what most humans could dream for in terms of power, and I'm pissed because I have to concentrate to have a shadow and a reflection. Tch, Tch, Tch.", he scolded himself. It wasn't really concentration so much as a will to have a reflection or a shadow. Still, the absurdity of his annoyance made him laugh.

He stepped into the shower and debated for a moment; scalding hot or freezing cold? Heat.

The minor amount of dirt, or blood, that got on his body could easily be removed by shifting to shadow-state for a moment, then shifting back. His vanity, however, wouldn't let him leave without having washed his hair. Something about having the silken silver locks back thrilled him. It didn't stop him from drying off via shadow-state though.

He strode out the door, clothing materializing as he walked up the stairs. Normally, he would shadow step or teleport to where ever he needed to be in the house, but humans couldn't do that, and neither could jinchuuriki, both of which he pretended to be. Which meant stairs...and doors... and walking...

"Baka humans.", he muttered, stepping through the door that led to the kitchen. He walked over the the fridge, the basement door being shut with shadows, and opened the white door, intent on filling up before he had to deal with two virgins and a human werewolf. Better full then hungry...or something like that.

He grabbed a bag of blood, not bothering to read the label, and bit off the end of the small tube. He savored the taste, letting it run and shift over his tongue a little before swallowing.

"Female Virgin, Twenty years old, type A blood. Needs more iron in her diet.", he casually remarked, finishing the blood off. He chucked the packet into the trash and headed for the door, realizing he had no idea how to get to the training ground while walking from his house. "Main Street.", he muttered, at least knowing the way there. Had it really been that long?

(Training Grounds)

"G-good morning, Naruto-san.", Hinata greeted, having show up a few minutes before the vampire.

"Good morning to you as well, Hinata-chan.", he said, giving another over dramatic bow. "You don't mind the "chan", do you?"

"N-no, it's f-fine.", she said, cheeks holding a little color. Naruto raised a silver brow.

"Are you nervous?", he asked, casually hoisting himself up to sit on one of the training posts; not that it was a great distance for his ass to move.

"A l-little... Kurenai-sensei said that if we don't p-pass her t-test, we go back to the Academy...", she stuttered out, shifting uneasily.

"Don't worry about it.", Naruto assured her, giving his most calming smile. "I've heard of these tests; they're standard procedure for new teams. It's just a seemingly impossible challenge that's supposed to test our ability, or at least willingness, to work together. After all, Konaha has three-genin cells for a reason; one ninja is weaker then three... in theory.", he explained, motioning to the post beside him. "So just sit down, relax, and get ready to have some help."

"T-that's it? W-we j-just have to work together?", she asked, moving to the pole and leaning against it; the damn thing was almost as tall as she was, and she wasn't going to attempt to sit on top(A quick note, the posts are about 4-1/2 feet high. Hinata is only 5'3", roughly.)

"Yep. We might not be able to complete the objective, but if we display the ability to work together, it'll be fine. Can you stand working with Kiba and myself?", he asked, debating on pulling out a cigarette. He hadn't smoked in front of them yesterday, and he was trying to stay on their good sides. That almost made him start laughing.

_'Yeah, they don't mind if you're the jinchuuriki for the Kyuubi no Kitsune, but if you light a cigarette in front of them, your fucked.'_

"Do you mind?", he asked, gaining the heiress's attention again. He waved the cigarette between two fingers, drawing her attention to it.

"Y-you smoke?", she asked.

"Quite often, but I use the flavored and scented ones. No burnt leaf smell.", he explained, usual fox grin on his face as he let the cigarette hang from the corner of his mouth. "It wouldn't offend you if I started smoking, would it?"

"No.", she said, though she did take a step away. She opened her mouth to explain her side-step, in case it had offended him, but he cut her off.

"I understand; second hand smoke and all that. In all honesty, these are more likely to hurt you three, given my healing factor.", he said, referring to the combined healing of the Kyuubi and his own Vampiric nature. Not that she knew of the latter.

"Oh...y-yeah...", she said, remembering his "confession" the day prior. He had told them of the Kyuubi, and had warned them that if they had a problem with it, to see the Hokage for a transfer.

He pulled out a lighter and flicked the lid open with his thumb before lighting his cigarette. He pocketed the lighter and took a drag. Out of boredom, he blew a few smoke rings and sent a small "stream" of smoke through them all, continuing until the cigarette was out. He ground it out on the top of the post, looking at the fidgeting heiress out of the corner of his eye.

"Something wrong, Hinata-chan?", he asked, eyes looking into the distance for this other teammate and his "sensei". He doubted she could teach him anything.

"H-how old are you, Naruto-san?", she asked. In Konaha, the age to smoke and drink was twenty.

"Good question.", he said, turning to her with a fox-grin and nothing else.

"...you're n-not old enough to buy those... are you?", she asked, motioning to the cigarette butt with her eyes.

"If you have a ninja headband.", he said, motioning to the one on his right bicep, "Then you're considered an adult."

"B-but you said you smoke often; w-we've only h-had these for a day.", she said, finding the holes in his argument.

"Good, you pay close attention. That's crucial in a ninja.", he praised, giving her a thumbs up. "Let's just say I've had a deal with Tsunade-sama since I was twelve. She found that the long-term effects of smoking and drinking wouldn't occur with me, so she gave me the okay to smoke. I don't drink though, if it makes you feel any better."_ "Alcohol anyway."_

"A little.", she said, starting to feel nervous about the test again.

"Kiba's coming.", he remarked, pointing to two dots in the distance. Hinata blinked, looking between the two dots and Naruto several times, astounded by his sight.

"Bloodline?", she asked, using the word Bloodline in place of Kyuubi, as Naruto had asked them too.

"Technically.", he said. The Kyuubi had given him sharper senses, and vampirism had heightened them to extremes. Still, he had learned to fine tune them, that way a sudden cricket chirp wouldn't blow his eardrums.

"Hey guys, what's up?", Kiba shouted once he was withing distance.

"Good morning, Kiba-kun. And to you as well, Akamaru.", he said, greeting both in turn. Both of his teammates paused at the suffix though, gaining odd looks from the vampire. "What?"

"N-nothing.", the heiress stuttered out, hands up in a placating gesture.

"Are you uncomfortable with the suffix Kiba?", he asked, turning his gaze back to Kiba.

"Never had a guy use it before...", he chuckled, scratching the back of his head uneasily.

"I assure you that my interests lie within the opposite sex.", he chuckled, smile widening when Hinata blushed a little."Oh don't worry, you're not my type; you wouldn't hurt a fly if you could help it.", he said, both praising and relieving the girl. She wouldn't deny he was beautiful, but something deep down told her that his interests would be bad for her health. "No offense, but you aren't what I'm looking for."

"It's alright, y-you aren't exactly my t-type either.", she said, small smile forming. "I couldn't kiss you if I tried.", she joked, getting some laughter from the other two.

"Don't feel bad, most women need a running start to jump up and kiss me.", he joked in return.

"Or some climbing gear!", Kiba managed to say through his laughter, causing another bout of laughter. Still smiling, Naruto looked up at the clouds and sighed.

"Neh, Kiba... are you okay with working with Hinata and myself? The test Kurenai-sensei is going to give us is about showing that we can work together.", he asked, tone still light, yet carrying a certain seriousness.

"If you two can keep up the laughs, I'll be fine.", he said, smiling.

"Are you two ready for the test?", he asked, tensing up.

"Yeah, wh-why?", Hinata asked, hearing the subtle change in his voice.

"Because it started five minutes ago. We're all trapped in a genjutsu right now.", he said, still looking skyward with a smile on his face. Kiba and Hinata, to their credit, quickly got ready for a fight.

"How do you know?", Kiba asked, looking around for a sign.

"The clouds haven't moved an inch in the last five minutes.", he said, getting off of the post with his smile intact. "Kurenai-sensei is standing in the trees over there, and she looks fairly surprised that I can see through her genjutsu. Kai.", he said calmly, not even making the seal to shatter the genjutsu.

"Not bad Naruto-san. You informed both of your teammates to the true nature of this test and broke the genjutsu around all of you after seeing through it.", she commended, holding up two bells. "The original test was going to be to steal a bell from me, and the one without a bell would be sent back to the academy."

"Pitting us against each other.", Kiba growled, standing beside Naruto in a feral stance while Hinata took the Juuken stance on the Vampire's left.

"It won't work.", Hinata said, managing not to stutter. Naruto's fox-like grin didn't diminish and his left hand gently grasped Whedabra's handle.

"Your move, Kurenai-sensei.", he said, remembering he had to fight at high genin level if this turned violent.

"Well if teamwork is out of the way, perhaps a spar to see where you stand.", she said, taking her own stance.

"Four on one? My eyes can't be deceived by genjutsu, and I can shatter them in a heartbeat.", he said confidently.

"I didn't become a jounin just because of my genjutsu skills, Naruto-san. You would do well to remember that.", she replied, taking out a kunai.

"Don't say I didn't warn you.", he said, letting go of Whedabra's handle. "Kiba, Akamaru, you two should focus on maneuvering her around. Hinata, whenever you see an opening, use the Juuken.", he said quietly, lips not moving in the slightest.

"And you?", Kiba asked, content with the plan.

"I'm the spear's tip. Go.", he said, dashing towards Kurenai with low-chunin speeds.

"Attacking head-on? That's unwise.", she said calmly, awaiting Naruto with her kunai.

"Who said anything about head on?", Naruto said, though the voice came from behind her. She whirled around with her Kunai in time to block Naruto's katana, though the strength of the blow almost knocked her down. "Behind you."

Kurenai looked over her shoulder to see the other Naruto still coming, sword drawn. She quickly used kawarimi to switch places with a falling leaf a couple meters away, but was shocked when the charging Naruto continued his swing, cutting the other in half. She almost screamed when blood flew from the cut, but in a flash all the blood and the two halves of the clone had blown away into black dust.

"Gatsuuga!"

Kurenai barely registered the cry in time to dodge the two spiraling attackers, though she cast a quick genjutsu over them that caused them to lose their bearings and crash. The second-long distraction cost her though, as she felt several stinging strikes rain down on her back, shutting down her chakra points. She managed to preform another kawarimi, shocked by their performance. She had learned that they were serious about becoming ninja the day before, but she didn't think that they would be able to do this.

"Good Evening.", Naruto said from behind her. She whirled around with a kick aimed at the side of his knee, but wasn't there when she turned. "You seem surprised.", his voice taunted again, coming from her left. This time, however, she guessed his movements and sent a vicious kick to her right. It caught the vampire in the side of the knee, bringing him down to one knee in front of the jounin.

Two kunai pressed themselves against her neck, a Juuken strike was waiting an inch away from her heart, and the Naruto in front of her dissolved into the black dust that quickly blew away in a wind that didn't exist.

"Not bad for a first match, eh Kurenai-sensei?", Naruto said cheerfully, stepping out of the shadows a few feet away. "In all fairness though, it was difficult, but you shouldn't have focused on my surprises."

"Had this been a real fight, you three would have been dead long before this point.", Kurenai said seriously. "But this was an excellent spar, though I'll have to fight you all individually to gage you properly. You pass.", she finished happily.

The kunai were removed and Hinata moved her hand back. Akamaru turned back into a dog and promptly laid down while Kiba fell flat on his ass.

"That crash hurt.", he groaned, making his teammates chuckled, though Kurenai kept her attention on Naruto, who stood a few feet away.

"Naruto-san, what was that clone you used? I can't say I've ever seen it before.", she asked, intrigued.

"Think of them as an advanced Kage Bushin; they have limited offensive capabilities, but they can take a fair amount of punishment before they go. The only reason the one in front of you ended itself was because there was no further use for it.", he explained cheerfully, taking out another cigarette. "You don't mind, do you?", he asked, letting it hand from the left corner of his mouth.

"Actually I do. It's a filthy habit, and I don't want you smoking during training or missions.", she warned, sounding a little more serious.

"I won't lite it then.", he said, grin not diminishing in the slightest. "So, what's your opinion; what sort of unit are we?", he questioned, leaning against the tree next to him.

Kurenai smiled and took a step back, so that all of her students –part of her loved that thought– were in her field of sight.

"From first glance, and first spar, a combat team with tracking abilities. I don't know if your senses are sharp enough to track like Kiba and Akamaru, but given that and your combat skills as a group, you three might make an excellent Hunter Ninja squad.", she praised.

"I'll pass. Have you seen those white masks? They're so... ugly. It would be a crime to hide my face behind one.", Naruto said, slightly flippantly, drawing a short chorus of laughter. "And what about if I do something heroic? If the "Fair Maiden" decides to award me a kiss, she already has to get a ladder. It'd be like getting to the end of the rainbow, just to find out the leprechaun went and booby trapped it."

"Wow...", Kiba said, shaking his head and chuckling. "You find a woman willing to go through all that trouble for one heroic act, they better be talking about it in history books.", he joked, standing up.

"As soon as you two are done fantasizing, we can go get lunch and come back to train.", Kurenai said, reminding herself that they were just joking around.

"I'll just stay here; I'm not hungry.", Naruto said calmly, smile still on his face. Once more, pure bullshit. There was never a moment in his life when he wasn't hungry.

"Well we weren't going to just go for food. I wanted to talk to you three about possible training options.", Kurenai replied, knowing that two events did not a pattern make, but she was starting to wonder why he avoided people. In fact, now that she thought on it, he had never touched any of them, and kept himself at least two feet away at all times. Even the four foot blade of his katana seemed to be there to keep a certain amount of distance.

"...where did you say we were going?", he asked, deciding to access the situation before he acted. He had a feeling he was going to be bullshitted into this.

(Yen's Restaurant)

Kurenai was seriously starting to wonder if choosing a restaurant was wise. They had, at Naruto's urging, pick a booth that was far from that door and had few people around it. He pushed himself against the wall, giving Hinata more room then she knew what to do with. Kurenai sat across from him and Kiba beside her, with Akamaru laying down beside the boy.

"A-are you alright Naruto-san?", Hinata asked, reaching out to feel his forehead, to check for a temperature.

"Don't touch me.", he said, voice coming out raspy and cold. The stunned heiress withdrew her hand and gave the silver haired man some space. "Speak.", he said, trying to stop himself from shaking. So many heartbeats around him, like a symphony of pleasures yet to be had.

"Naruto, you can leave if you're not comfortable here.", Kurenai offered, worried for the "boy".

"I'll be at the training field then.", he said, suddenly disappearing.

It was like he was there one moment and gone the next, and Kurenai suspected the shadow Kekkei Genkai that he had mentioned the day before.

"Is he gonna be alright?", Kiba asked, looking at the spot where he had been sitting.

"I... have no idea.", Kurenai said, brow furrowed.

(Training ground, ten minutes later)

Naruto rolled up the empty blood packet and shoved it in his pocket. It was risky, drinking in broad daylight, but walking into that restaurant had been a whole other league of stupid. He lit a cigarette and took a drag, wondering why he even started smoking. Sure as hell wasn't for stress relief.

He took the cigarette from his mouth, still lit, and crushed it in his hand. When he opened it, the torn remains fell to the ground. He decided to quit, though he knew it would only be a matter of time before he picked up another habit to consume him.

He ground his teeth together, wanting nothing more then to drink Konaha dry. It was barely a few minutes past noon, and he already wanted to kill people; almost a new record.

"This is not going to be worth it.", he complained, debating on looking for Orochimaru and attempting to kill him. His keen hearing caught the sounds of his teammates approaching before he could put too much thought into the subject though. He was facing away from them as they neared, and he had no intention of turning.

"Naruto-san, are you feeling better?", Hinata asked, worried for her teammate. She kept her distance though, just as Kurenai had asked them to.

"No.", he replied, though his voice was back to it's normal ethereal melody. "Next time I try and avoid a public place like that, let me.", he said, directing it to Kurenai.

"What's wrong with public places?", Kiba asked, not understanding any more then the other two.

"They're full of the public. That's the problem.", was the curt reply.

"Naruto-san, what he means is, what's wrong with the public? Are you claustrophobic, scared of people or contact... what's wrong?", she asked, wondering if this had something to do with the Kyuubi.

"Drop it.", he replied, looking over his shoulder at them. "You won't like what you find."

"N-Naruto-san, i-if you just tell us, maybe we c-can help.", Hinata offered.

"Drop it.", he warned, turning his gaze back to the area in from of him.

Kurenai considered her options for a moment, debating on the best course of action.

"Hinata, Kiba, why don't you two head home for the day. I want to talk to Naruto alone, and I have a feeling that training would best be continued tomorrow.", she said, attempting a disarming smile at the two.

"Good luck.", Kiba sighed, turning and walking off with Akamaru in tow. Hinata bowed once to Kurenai and bade Naruto a good night before following suit, knowing that it would be best if she wasn't around for this.

Once the two were out of sight, Kurenai walked around Naruto, keeping a five foot gap between the two of them until she was standing in front of him. His features seemed tense, like it was taking a great deal of strain to stay still.

"Naruto-san, secrets may destroy this team before it starts. If you have a problem being surrounded by people, you need to let me know.", Kurenai asked of him.

"I don't have a problem being surrounded by people... I have a problem with the desire to tear their throats out when I'm surrounded by people.", he said calmly, planning to play this as part of the Kyuubi leaking over.

"W-what?", she asked, shocked by the bluntness of the comment.

"I consider it part of the Kyuubi's influence; Large masses of people around me, or only a few in an enclosed space, make it difficult to think about anything but killing them. Why do you think I've kept some space between myself and you three? Give me a few weeks and I might be able to touch one of you without recoiling.", he said seriously, eyes boring into her. He used some _influence _to calm some of the terror forming in her, and to make him seem less threatening.

"I wouldn't think on it too much; keep me out of large crowds or restaurants, and we won't have any problems.", he said, trying a cheerful smile. "Now then, I believe you wanted to speak to me about training options, right?"

"Oh, yes that's right.", Kurenai said, shaking her head to clear her mind. The world had gone fuzzy for a minute there. "From what I can tell, you're fast, but after that hit earlier, it doesn't look like you have to worry about strength training either.", she explained, remembering the force behind the swing. "Above and beyond training with Hinata and Kiba for teamwork attacks, I'd like you to practice perfecting your jutsu."

"Sounds good.", he said calmly, ghost of a smile still on his face. "If that's all, I'd like to go home and get some rest; today has been a little taxing between the restaurant and the fight with you."

"Sure. Same time tomorrow, and don't be late.", she reminded him. After giving another over-dramatic bow, he turned and walked off into the shadows, seeming to flicker and fade once he was deep enough in.

"We need to talk.", Naruto said, coming out of the shadow in a corner of Tsunade's office, though he smiled and bowed to the other two guests. "Good evening Shizune-chan, Anko-chan."

The Godaime's eye was twitching, but she dismissed the two kunoichi, able to tell this was for her ears only. Once the door shut, Naruto became very serious.

"Are you trying to kill someone?", he asked frowning for once. "Do you have any idea how much I wanted to kill a restaurant full of people not even a full half hour ago?"

"Did you?", she asked, lacing her fingers together.

"No. But I don't know how long I can keep it up. Between my hunger and their ignorance... it's a bad mix.", he warned. "A Gentleman I may be, but a saint I am not; this will end badly. Especially considering the unique nature of my curse."

"I suppose you're right, but there's not a lot I can do now.", she explained, though she supposed the vampire deserved some comfort, though it would be in a roundabout fashion. "Only the lowest vampire cannot control his hunger. Are you the No-Life King, or aren't you?"

Naruto stiffened for a moment, but let a relaxed smile come to his lips as the rest of him followed suit. He bowed and disappeared, leaving the Godaime to congratulate herself on a vampire-well-motivated.

Then she remembered Shizune and Anko... and what she had found them doing earlier...

She sighed and took out the hidden jug of sake from her desk.

"At least she won't get knocked up.", she said, making a toast to no one and drinking.

(One week later, Training Grounds)

"Effective.", Kurenai remarked as the three genin coordinated their efforts. They were up against one of Naruto's shadow clones, and had found themselves using the same tactics as the day Kurenai tested them.

Basically, Kiba, Akamaru, and Naruto were the heavy hitters, and would be the first ones in. If the target dodge the getsuuga, they'd have to deal with Naruto's sword and speed. While Kiba and Akamaru turned, Hinata would dart in alongside Naruto, strike with the Juuken a few times, then dart out as the Inuzuka closed in.

It was fine for single target combat, but like every ninja, Kurenai knew this was rarely the case. Naruto had provided the answer with a range of large-area jutsu, though given the chakra pool that the Kyuubi gave him, it wasn't surprising.

In short, he'd thin the ranks before Kiba went in to thin the numbers a little more, and Hinata would be taking on small groups with the Juuken. Naruto, after a minor recovery time, would join in the individual fights alongside Hinata.

Whatever fear he had of touching them had disappeared quickly, and he explained it as having received a simple reminder of who he was. Luckily, Kurenai had kept their conversation a secret, so he didn't have to worry about that for a while.

"Good.", Kurenai praised as a Juuken strike to the heart made the clone pop. Naruto hadn't told them that he was forcing the clones to pop upon strikes that would be lethal to a human, instead of making them disappear on strikes lethal to a vampire. "Let's see, we've been at it for a few hours; do you want to stop for the day, or take your first mission?"

"Let's take the mission!", Kiba shouted enthusiastically.

"Don't get too excited, Kiba-kun.", Naruto warned jokingly. "The first mission for us will be D ranked; probably nothing more then picking up trash or helping and old lady with her groceries."

The heir and the heiress both looked at him in shock before turning to Kurenai to confirm it.

"He's right. D ranked mission are mostly to build teamwork and give you guys some pocket money, but they aren't anything glorious. C ranked missions vary, but they're usually escorts or eliminating small groups of bandits.", she explained.

"E-eliminating?", Hinata asked, biting her lip. She knew killing was part of the job, but...

"As in we go and kill them.", Naruto said, putting a comforting hand on her shoulder. The urge to tear her arm off was quickly suppressed. "It's not always pretty, but it's better than letting them continue on. Some bandits have some semblance of honor; others will mug and rape just about anyone.", he said coldly. "I've killed a bandit before; he had been robbing merchants and raping women for several years. One night, he picked the wrong person to try and mug.", Naruto said, trying to instill the conviction needed to accept a ninja's life; if they thought it would mean less "Evil" in the world, then it would be much easier.

"Y-you've killed before?", Hinata asked, shocked.

"What...what was it like?", Kiba asked, not knowing if he should have.

"...At first? A sort of twisted detachment; you might see yourself kill them from a third-person point of view. After that come a wave of nausea, and a fair amount of disgust. Given some of my unfortunate circumstances, I'm become immune to the effects.", he said, referring to the Kyuubi. Telling them this now might help them avoid freezing when he cut someone in half without a second glance.

Kurenai, sensing she had let this continue long enough, coughed to get their attention.

"That's enough of that for now; do you want to go get a mission? D ranks aren't too bad.", she explained. "They also give you a little time to think, or can get your mind off of something."

"She's right; enough depression and fear, let's go take our first mission as team eight.", he said cheerfully, leading the two teenagers towards town. "If it's that damn cat, I'm gonna kill it.", he said though, fox-grin still in place.

"What cat?", Kiba asked, confused.

"The Daimyo's wife's cat, Tora. It always runs away, and finding it's a D-class mission with fair pay... if you don't mind the scratches.", Kurenai said, remembering her days as a genin. It had been a different Tora then, but it had the same problem. "How did you know about the cat though?"

"I've helped both Tsunade and Sarutobi when he was Hokage; I've see several teams come back with the cat.", he replied as if he was recalling a memory that made him want to punch something.

"I-it can't be that bad.", Hinata meekly commented, wondering how a cat could cause trouble to genin.

"Let's just try and get a mission that doesn't involve the cat, and leave it at that.", Kurenai suggested, getting a cheerful agreement from the vampire.

The walk to the Hokage Tower was fairly quick and uneventful, though Naruto's perpetual fox-grin seemed to unnerve a few people as they walked by. It was almost like he knew something they didn't. The receptionist greeted them and directed them to the room where missions were handed out.

Upon opening the door, Naruto blinked, wondering why Shizune was in the seat that was supposed to accommodate Tsunade. The Desk's front went to the floor, and was large and filling with drawers to hold the numerous mission scrolls, while the chair was large and designed to be comfortable. They closed the small distance to the blushing apprentice, though Naruto's smirk only widened when he got closer.

"Tsunade asked you to cover for her while she went drinking, didn't she?", Naruto asked, and the apprentice sighed.

"Yeah. It's so embarrassing; people walk in to see the Hokage for a mission, and they see me sitting here.", she admitted,scooting the chair a little closer to the desk. "Still, it could be worse. Can I help you?"

"Team 8 reporting for their first D rank.", Kurenai said, her tone official. Shizune fidgeted uncomfortably for a moment before opening a drawer and browsing through a few scrolls. After finding one that she liked, she pulled it out and handed it to Kurenai.

"It's pretty simple; nothing fancy, and the pay isn't anything special. Still, good for starters.", she smiled, though she did seem to be getting a little more uncomfortable.

"We'll be on our way then.", Naruto said, a sly smirk still on his face. He walked with his team to the door, though he turned before he shut the door and shot Shizune a thumbs up.

"Keep up the good work, Anko-chan.", he said, closing the door.

"Anko? I thought that was Shizune.", Kurenai remarked when the vampire turned. Naruto paused and took on a pensive look.

"Did I say Anko?", he muttered. Then he shrugged and motioned to the next door. "A slip of the tongue. Let's be on our way."

As soon as Naruto closed the door, Shizune grabbed the arms of the chair in a death grip as her eyes lolled into the back of her head. She had to bite her lower lip to keep silent, and as soon as she was done with her orgasm, Anko poked her head out from between Shizune's legs, having been concealed by the desk.

"He's good.", she smiled, loving the look of ecstasy on Shizune's face. "Then again, so am I.". Her head disappeared again and Shizune was sent right back up to cloud nine.

"I l-love it when Tsunade goes drinking!", Shizune moaned, perfectly content. A slightly muffled agreement came from between her legs.

(With Naruto and his team)

"This sucks.", Kiba complained as the Park manager handed him a pointy stick and bag. "Come on, couldn't we be doing something productive? Like... saving a fair maiden, like you're always talking about?", Kiba asked, motioning to Naruto, who seemed to be perfectly content with the mission.

"Kiba, would you like to hear what Itachi Uchiha told me that inspired my work ethic?", the Vampire asked, stabbing a piece of trash with his stick before putting it in the bag.

"Why not?", Kurenai replied for him. Itachi might have been a traitor, but his skill was beyond question. It couldn't hurt to hear it.

""Fate is fickle, Destiny is Insane, and Karma is a Bitch. Shut up and get to work" were his words exactly.", Naruto recalled, cheerful smile in place. "Live in the moment, and worry about the future on your own time."

"Not exactly inspiring.", Kiba remarked, stabbing some trash. "We're ninja on litter patrol. They really mislead you on the poster, man."

"Kiba, you've reach one of many points in your career as a ninja where you can be considered SOL and JWF.", Naruto said, finding this oddly relaxing.

"W-what does that mean?", Hinata asked, not realizing what she was walking into.

"Shit out of luck-", Kiba started

"- and Jolly well Fucked.", Naruto finished, chuckling with his Canine-esque friend. "Aren't you glad you asked?"

Hinata giggled and shook her head. They were both idiots, and they had made more then one perverted joke to one another in the past week, but they were good teammates and great friends.

Life could be worse.

* * *

And there's chapter three! Goddamn, I didn't even have to stay up till 6 am to finish this one... WHAT'S HAPPENING TO ME?

Alucard(The one in my head):...you have no life.

Ifrit: Let's not forget the caffeine.

Mazera: or the sugar.

Hector: I feel as though you're ganging up on me

Shina: We are.

Hector: Great. Well then Shina, as the spirit of desire, why don't you announce the current numbers from the poll for Naruto's pairing in this story.

Shina: Glad to!

Tayuya:9

Kyuubi:4

Konan:2

Ifrit: that's too bad, I was rooting for Kyuubi.

Hector: remember **the poll is still open**, so people should keep voting... hint hint, nudge nudge.

I'm going for one funny scene per chapter if I can, which is what the thing with Shizune and Anko was supposed to be :) Yes, the two are technically together; They probably won't appear too often, just for comic relief or because of a later plot turn... (Grins)... gotta love the ability to alter a character's perceptions... oh dear, I had best stop talking before I reveal my plans.

Review please, and vote too!

Ja Ne, My Freaky Darlings.


	4. CRank

Good Evening, My Freaky Darlings. I never did do well with long vacations ... ;)

Chapter Three, coming at ya! This has a small time skip at the beginning(Only a month), and goes right into their first C-rank. Something happens during the mission that happens to be the start of a plot device... or something like that... it affects the story around it. Some of you might not like it, some of you may bow down; personally, it hurt to write it.

Also, I feel that I didn't take my own advice about flamers. I understand that some of you believe Dan's words to be nothing more then simple critisism, and that I overreacted, but quite frankly My Freaky Darlings, I don't give a damn. It's my story, and I'll overreact when I want to; So, to all you flamers out there, where you get this or not, Va Fangool!

I suppose that I do owe some sort of explanation for Naruto's power level and worries about Orochimaru. He gained Alucard's powers when he drank his blood, but NO knowledge of how to use it. In his twelve years as a vampire, he has focused on speed and regeneration. Now then, for his regeneration to improve, he either needs to drain the soul of someone with regeneration, or get severely injured to the point he has difficulty healing it. Now then, In darkness, He's undefeated and is a master assassin and combatant. In sunlight(As he is NOT ALUCARD) he is significantly weaker, though still high jounin level. The reason he's worried about Orochimaru is the simple fact that he'd draw the fight into sunlight, and the snake has just as many "get out of death free" cards as he does. And as a following Note:

Alucard: 579 years old(At end of Anime/Manga. Around 2079 in the story). Well over a million souls.

Naruto: 20 years old. 250-ish souls

So, he has much weaker versions of Alucard's powers, not nearly as many souls to power himself, and only twelve years to work with the power. He's an assassin, not a gladiator. Also, I'm going off the rule that anything "Lethal" uses up one soul instead of killing him; basically, given Orochimaru's abilities, it would be a matter of time, a fight to see who could kill who more. Orochimaru also has front line combat experience, and is able to quickly adapt to a situation, whereas Naruto has only worked from the shadows. See the point? It's fair in the shadows, but in sunlight, with a lack of shadows, Naruto would be at a disadvantage.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Hellsing

* * *

"Female, deflowered. Thirty one, type B blood. Needs to drink less Alcohol.", Naruto muttered, chucking another empty packet into the trash. He was indulging a little before today's mission; team 8's first C rank.

He half chuckled as he grabbed a pack of strawberry flavored smokes, vaguely remembering his decision to quit a month before. To his credit, he hadn't smoked since, but he had to admit that, since he didn't have to breath, he liked smoke better then air.

He walked out his front door and jumped onto the nearest rooftop once he got into the main part of the village. It was a little quicker, and given his still shaky control of his bloodlust around strangers, it was safer. Still, he couldn't help but smile as he watched people going about their daily lives; The time he had spent with Team 8 had at least rekindled his interest in Humans.

Shaking the thoughts from his mind, had jumped on, having something more important to attend to than watching civilians. He had spoken with Tsunade about his mission, and it seemed like he was there more as a shield to Kiba and Hinata than anything else. It entailed a one-time defense of Sasuke Uchiha, but that wouldn't come for a few months; maybe never, if the next Chunin exam was held in Suna.

"I need to focus.", he muttered, almost laughing as he pulled out a cigarette and lit it. He almost felt, dare he say it, giddy at the thought of the mission. He knew that if there was a chance to kill, he'd have to fight at low-chunin level if he wanted to keep the ruse up, but that just meant he could drag it out. He couldn't wait for the screams.

When the end of the chain of buildings came, he simply jumped forth, hitting the ground running. He reigned in his violent side, not wanting his team to see his eyes turn a bloody crimson. He knew that they turned when he started having violent thoughts, or when he started killing, but part of him didn't want to explain it to his team yet.

"_By the way, I'm also a Vampire and Konaha's most feared and skilled Assassin."_, he thought to himself, chuckling. He cleared his mind once more, not knowing what the mission could be; C-ranks were fairly diverse.

"I need to be ready.", he muttered, catching sight of his teammates, waiting at the three training posts of the field. He closed the distance in a small amount of time, slowing to a stop once he got close. "Good morning, Hinata-chan, Kiba-kun, Akamaru-Inu.", he said, cheerfully. He took the cigarette from his mouth and dropping it to the ground before grinding it out.

"Good Morning. I thought you quit smoking though.", Hinata replied, a light smile near the end.

"Nobody likes a quitter.", Naruto returned, taking out another. "Strawberry flavored this time; Think I might get another one in before Kurenai-sensei gets here?"

"Not likely", said jounin said from behind the vampire. Naruto chuckled and put the cigarette back into it's pack.

"Can't blame me for trying.", he said through a smile, putting the pack into his trenchcoat, reaching through the side of the buttons to place it in one of the many interior pockets. "Good Morning."

"Good morning to you all as well. Are you ready to go see about your first C-ranked mission?", she asked, smiling with pride. The three had come a long way as a team, and Kurenai had been praised by the Godaime herself for managing to keep Naruto in line; why, she didn't know, but she did know that when the hokage praised you for something, you didn't ask too many questions.

"I'm Ready.", Naruto replied, fox-grin in place.

"You know it!/Bark!", came the response from Kiba and Akamaru.

"I'm as ready as I'll ever be.", Hinata said, voice barely above a whisper. They had gotten her to stop stuttering, but she'd almost never raise her voice; so, they got used to hearing her more-than-whispers.

Kurenai nodded and turned, walking towards Main street, and by proxy, the Hokage Tower. While they walked, Kiba verbally fantasized about what they'd be doing.

"Maybe rescuing a trapped noblewoman, or stopping a tyrannical ruler or something!", he shouted, pumping his fist into the air. "What are you two hoping for?"

"Recon.", Hinata said, a ghost of a smile on her lips. She had made her peace with having to kill, but she had no idea how she'd react when she did kill someone.

"Really? What are you hoping for then, Naruto?", Kiba asked, turning his attention to his seven-foot teammate.

"Bandit Elimination; I'd like to make some town's life a little easier.", he said, smiling softly. "But Recon doesn't sound too bad. We go in, look around, come back, report, pick up our paycheck, and go home a little richer."

"That's a good philosophy. Glory and heroic deaths don't pay bills.", Kurenai said, a light smile on her lips. Naruto chuckled an nodded, slipping his hands into the two outer pockets of the trenchcoat.

"Get ready though; Life rarely goes according to plan.", he advised, mentally going over a list of things he could do without blowing his cover. Katon, Heisekishou(Burning ash accumulation) was probably out of the question.

The rest of the walk was done in silence, each person prepping themselves for whatever task might lie ahead of them. Naruto, given his supernatural senses, felt something bad would happen; something that couldn't be avoided. He hated it when he learned about shit like that; it made him feel guilty when they actually did happen.

They walked into the tower and went straight for the mission room, feeling righteous. Tsunade was actually in her seat that day; it had seemed that she was only there half the time when team 8 came, and Shizune filled in for her for the other half. Naruto hadn't told anyone that occasionally, when Shizune was handing out missions, Anko was half the reason for the apprentice's blush. He had one round with the two of them, and they thanked him for getting them together.

He was the only one who needed to know, so he didn't tell anyone about their relationship. Others were bound to find out, like Tsunade had, but... those rapids were best worried about when they came around.

"Good Morning, Tsunade-sama.", Naruto greeted, giving a small bow to the Godaime. The rest of his team was only a second behind him in both greeting and bows.

"Good is a relative term.", she said, trying not to groan.

"Let me guess, hangover?", Naruto offered, fox-grin plastered on his face.

"From hell.", she said, rubbing her temples. "But you're not here to listen to me complain; You're here for your first C-Ranked mission, aren't you?"

"We are, Tsunade-sama.", Kurenai quickly said, sensing a comment brewing in Naruto's mind and mouth. "Do you have any available missions?"

"Only one C-rank, a reconnaissance mission of sorts.", she said, taking the mission from it's drawer. She unrolled it to read the details. "It's a half-day trip to the location, and I want at least a day's worth of Recon. There's supposed to be a fair sized band of bandits, lead by a nukenin, and it's causing a nearby town no small amount of worry. If the troupe is small enough, and you think yourselves ready, you can engage them. Otherwise, this is observation only, and we'll send the appropriate number of ninja in as soon as you return."

"This has the potential to go very wrong.", Naruto said, arms folded. "But I'm game.", he finished.

"Sounds good.", Hinata said, glad it was Recon.

"Better than another day of trash duty.", Kiba joked, "I'm ready for it.", he finished, scratching Akamaru behind the ears.

"Well then, we accept Tsunade-sama.", Kurenai said, trying to hide her glee by sounding official. Tsunade rerolled the scroll and handed it to Kurenai, writing something down with her other hand.

"Good. Remember: this isn't a chore posted by some lazy villager, this is a real mission, and you need to be professional.", Tsunade reminded them. "Now then, leave an old woman to regret her alcohol consumption."

The team managed to bow and exit the room with straight faces, though they couldn't hold their laughter once they were out of earshot.

"Pack for a three day trip and meet me at the west gate in an hour.", Kurenai said, quieting their laughs. "We should travel light, so don't over-pack; some trail rations, an extra set of clothing, typical ninja supplies, and binoculars wouldn't be a bad idea."

"I won't need the binoculars.", Naruto said, knowing he would be traveling the lightest of all; all he was taking was a scroll full of blood packets. And Whedabra, of course.

"That's great, but let's not forget that Hinata and I don't have super-eyes... well... I don't.", he said, slumping slightly. Hinata patted him on the shoulder before walking off to pack.

When Kiba sighed and walked off, Naruto turned serious and looked Kurenai in the eyes.

"Bandits can be the scum of the earth; those without honor... are best kept far from me.", he said simply, if a little angrily. He turned and walked off, intending to prepare himself for whatever tragedy had decided to happen. He had a feeling he knew though, and he prayed he was wrong.

(Thirteen hours later, 9:06 PM)

"It looks like there are about fifty of them. Most look pretty torn up though.", Naruto said, standing on a branch between Hinata and Kurenai. Kiba waited a few branches lower, and Akamaru rested on the forest floor. Given his night-vision, he was the only one who could make out the details in the quickly fading light, and Hinata's Byakugan couldn't reach the required distance to make out much.

"Anything particular?", Kurenai asked, keeping her voice low. They were a fair distance away, only just close enough for Kiba and her to tell there was a bonfire in the middle of the encampment, but she stayed quiet, just incase.

"Nothing; it looks like they're celebrating. A successful raid on a merchant caravan by the look of it.", he muttered, trying to pick out a detail that might be of value. He found one, and he felt his teeth turn to fangs in rage.

"What is it?", Hinata asked, having noticed the sudden change in his stance.

"A bandit just walked out of his tent...", he growled out, reaching into his trenchcoat.

"How is that important?", Kiba asked from below.

"He's holding up a young girl's dress like a trophy. It's torn, and covered in blood and semen stains.", he said, pulling the kunai from his coat. Hinata stiffened beside him, and Kurenai swore.

"Those... bastards!", Kiba growled out, hitting the tree with his fist.

Kurenai caught Naruto's movement from the corner of her eye and looked over in slight shock; Naruto had a kunai in his hand, and was getting ready to throw it.

"Naruto, stand down! We're outnumbered and the nukenin hasn't made his appearance.", she warned. Naruto didn't listen. In a flash, the kunai was gone from his hand, and Kurenai whipped her head towards the bandit encampment; it was way too far for a genin... right?

"Boom.", Naruto said coldly, a twisted smirk on his face as the kunai struck the man in the forehead and threw him back several feet. "Headshot."

An explosion went off in the encampment, taking a swath of bandits out in a matter of seconds. Team 8 turned to their teammate only to find him jumping down and running off towards the encampment; the look in his eyes that told them that he was hellbent on killing every last one of the bandits.

"Dammit!", Kurenai swore loudly. "Let's go!", she called, jumping after the vampire with her students in tow.

Naruto had said to hell with his cover as soon as his eyes found that dress; Some people were nothing more then a plague upon the earth, and as long as he walked the world, he would kill every diseased fool who dared to corrupt the earth with his life. Reason had lost this battle, and Whedabra would win once more.

No one here could stand to the No-Life King.

The first batch, near the edge of the encampment, didn't know he was there until Whedabra's blade was tearing through them.

"Trash.", he spat, cleaving another man in twain as he strode into the mass of Bandits.

Kurenai, as was her style, caught a small group in a genjutsu and let Kiba's Gatsuuga finish them. Another tried sneaking up behind her and suddenly found himself being eaten by a tree. Kurenai's kunai entering his brain stopped the genjutsu short though.

She glanced over at Hinata, who was dropping several bandits at once with her Juuken strikes. She turned her attention back to the charging bandits and lost sight of the heiress.

Hinata was holding her own against the bandits, dodging blades and blows while raining down with her Juuken strikes. Unfortunately, she had been unable to activate her Byakugan on the run over to the encampment, and the one remaining bandit wasn't giving her a chance. She jumped back to get some distance and hopefully some time to activate the Byakugan.

Before she realized what had happened, two strong sets of arms grabbed her arms, two per, and two heavy feet pressed down on hers, immobilizing her.

She struggled against her captors, but they held her arms by the wrist and bicep, preventing her from twisting from their grip or using the Juuken. Then she spied the bandit from a moment ago walking forward, the grin on his face bringing a terrified memory of the girl's dress.

"Well, what do we have here? A little ninja slut who thought she could take us on.", he said, staring at her body lecherously. He grabbed the front of her jacket, and her shirt as well, and ripped down. The jacket and shirt tore, leaving a mortified Hinata with only her black bra covering her chest. The bandit smirked and took out a knife, cutting the bra away and tearing off the remains. "Oh, very nice.", he said, groping Hinata's left breast.

"Get your greasy hands off me!", she shouted, struggling some more. The bandit removed his hand and slapped her hard enough to make her head turn.

"Alright then, slut, we'll skip right to the fun part.", he said lustfully, taking the knife and running it down the outside of both legs before grabbing the front of the waist of her pants and tearing them off. He laughed when he saw her pink underwear, but didn't pause as he grabbed them and tore them off as well, causing the heiress enough pain to make her cry out.

She was frozen in fear as he undid his belt and let his pants drop. She struggled fiercely against her captors when he grabbed his member and started inching closer to her entrance.

"Scream for me bitch.", he said lustily, an inch away from her.

"You first."

Hinata was frozen again as the man was pulled back and hacked to pieces in a second. All her terror and shock filled mind could register was the familiar voice, and the long, silver hair. The pressure on her arms and legs disappeared, and she felt herself falling forward.

She felt herself stop on a solid surface, but she vaguely recalled the soft fabric and the Strawberry-scent. A few strands of Silver hair came into her vision and she latched onto the familiar torso, shaking and sobbing.

Naruto was cursing himself for losing his temper and running off; he had just about gotten one of his best friends raped, and after the narrow escape from that, she had seen him mercilessly slaughter her would-be rapists. He didn't know how much she had registered, but he knew that it was still his fault. He looked over to see the torn remains of Hinata's cloths, and realized the girl was still naked, save for a few shreds of her jacket and shirt, and her shoes.

He made a clone to help steady her while he took off the trenchcoat and put it around her shoulders, buttoning it up as fast as he could. It was more like a dress on her, but it gave her some modesty. As soon as he was done though, she latched back on to him, holding on with a deathgrip.

"_Right, She wants familiar; familiar is safe. I'm familiar."_, he told himself, despite the fact he was far from safe; though given the fact he had fed twice without his team noticing, he was marginally safer then normal.

"Hinata, are you okay?", he asked, putting an arm around her. He couldn't tell if she had nodded or if it was just from her shaking. "Hinata, please say something..."

She didn't say anything, but she managed to noticeably nod. Naruto took it as a good sign, all things considered, and slowly led her away from the spot. The battle was over, and the nukenin seemed to be bound and in a genjutsu in front of he neared, he saw the Kiba was sitting beside Akamaru, staring at his bloody fingernails.

"Remind me never to follow my instincts again.", he said, once they were within hearing distance. Kurenai whirled around with a kunai in hand, but froze when she saw it was Hinata and Naruto; more importantly, that fact Hinata was in Naruto's trenchcoat, and the boy was in nothing but a black wife-beater.

"Oh Kami, is she alright?", Kurenai asked, hurrying over. Hinata, seeming to come out of her trance a little at the sound of Kurenai's voice, let go of Naruto's shirt to turn and face her sensei. Before she made it all the way, an impact knocked her unto her back, and it was followed almost immediately by a sharp pain in her heart.

The ninja had broken the bonds and the genjutsu, and had thrown three kunai at the girl he suspected to be very precious to the team, figuring it would give him some time to escape. He had barely turned to run when a whole arm tore through his torso, going through him like tissue paper.

Naruto ripped the man in half for daring to attack his friend, and ran back to the girl after flicking the blood from his arm. It looked like two had missed, but the third had gone straight for the heart, and was half-buried in the kunoichi's chest.

"Shit!", Naruto shouted, realizing the severity of the wound. "Please tell me you know a healing jutsu or something!", he asked frantically. Hinata was his friend, and if she died, it would have been his fault.

"That's not my field! I barely know how to use a first aid kit, let alone use healing jutsu.", she replied, equally frantic. Kiba stayed away, knowing he'd only get in the way at this point.

"Nothing?", Naruto asked, remembering his prediction from earlier. No... anything but that...

"No. Unless you have something that can fix this...", she trailed off, seeing that Hinata didn't have much longer. Naruto decided in a split second what he was going to do. He knelt beside the girl and lifted her up slightly, helping the girl look into his eyes.

"Hinata-chan, I'm sorry.", he apologized, knowing that's all he had time for, "You have to make the choice now; do you understand?"

She nodded weakly, fading fast.

"Do you want to die as a human, or live as a monster?", he asked, speaking telepathically as well, to make sure she heard him. "This has to be your choice!"

She open her mouth to reply, but no words came out. Her hand reached towards his face, but didn't make it. He had heard her answer though, and it caused him more sorrow then he could have imagined.

"Look away; if you intervene, I may tear her throat out by accident.", he said, lifting her a little higher while he leaned down. Before Kurenai could ask what he meant, he had let his jaw open wide and bit into the right side of Hinata's neck. The pain shocked the girl into snapping her eyes open and letting out a soundless scream as she was torn from death's embrace.

Kurenai watched in silent horror as Naruto remained attached for a few more moments, reaching over and pulling the kunai from the kunoichi's chest after a second. Kurenai almost shouted, but she watched as the hole slowly closed. Naruto removed himself from her neck, berating himself for having drank that much of her blood; she needed all she could get now. He stood up, holding her bridal style as her eyes sank shut once more.

"Kurenai-sensei, I need to get her to Tsunade immediately; I'm good at taking blood out, not putting it in. Get Kiba and head back to Konaha; I need to go ahead if we want to see Hinata alive.", Naruto explained, trying to remained calm, he turned to shadowstep to the village, but Kurenai stopped him.

"What the hell did you do?", she asked, slightly terrified by the streak of blood that came from the corner of his mouth; it was Hinata's.

"Something that will undoubtedly land me in hell if nothing else I've done counts. I'll explain later.", he said, turning the rest of the way and dashing off at full speed before jumping into the shadows.

He knew it was risky; making someone a vampire would heal all previous wounds, but not always quickly enough to save them. Hinata had lost a decent amount of blood to the kunai, and he had been unable to stop himself from drinking more then he intended; on top of the injury of the kunai itself, her heart might not survive the shadow travel. Still, the high winds would be no more forgiving if he had ran.

He flew out of the shadows in the ER of the Konaha hospital, scaring the hell out of the Nurse on duty. Luckily, no one else was in the ER who might have died of a heart attack. He dashed to the nearest bed and set the heiress down, swearing quietly. He whirled around to face the stammering nurse.

"Go get Tsunade. NOW HUMAN!", he shouted, seeing her hesitation. She fainted on the spot and Naruto swore. He made a clone and told it to get Tsunade, while he went back and held Hinata's hand between his. A few seconds later and Tsunade was on the other side of the bed, having been used to the occasional bit of shadow travel.

"What happened?", she asked, opening the trenchcoat and finding the girl nude. The clone shut the curtain around them, to allow some modesty, and Naruto began answering as he pulled out a packet of type A Blood.

"In Short, a bandit did something very stupid that woke up my "Nosferatu mode". I charged in headfirst and my team followed. Hinata was almost raped because of it, and not five minutes after I save her from that, the nukenin throws some kunai to escape, and one hit her heart. It didn't go deep enough for an instant kill. I had to turn her to save her, but she lost a lost of blood."

Tsunade barely looked up as she set up the blood drip, putting the needle into her arm.

"You're an idiot, and your actions almost condemned her to a kunoichi's worst nightmare.", she scolded, checking the girl's vitals with a jutsu; the machines would do nothing more then say the new vampire's heart wasn't beating. "At least you had the courtesy to save her twice."

"I saved her once.", he growled out, looking Tsunade in the eye. "She was delirious and still in shock when I asked her if she want to die a human or live as a monster. I've damned her."

"Look, I'll do what I can, but It's going to tax my concentration if you're going to brooding all night.", she said, putting a hand on his shoulder. "Go home and mull it out; if it's anything like your first night, She's still got a few hours of unconsciousness in her. I'll send for you when I have news."

Naruto cast one last look at Hinata's paling features before he shadow stepped into his living room, throughly disgusted with himself.

He stopped himself from wrecking the living room, if only just, and forced every step towards the basement. He didn't know if he was heading to his coffin to rest or to hide.

"What have I done?", he asked himself, feeling suddenly hollow as he leaned against the wall beside him. Part of him was happy that there would be another vampire for him to speak to, to understand, but part of him knew what he had stolen from Hinata. "No, it was the right thing to do; she was dying and it was my fault.", he assured himself, but the argument seemed to be ash

He inhaled deeply, held it for a moment, and exhaled. The task of steady breathing, when you normally didn't breath at all, was good for forcing yourself to relax, or at the very least, take your mind off of the subject for a few minutes.

"What's done is done.", he said calmly after few minutes, getting off the wall and walking into the kitchen. He opened the door to the fridge and looked in, smirking at all the blood. He was full, so he shut the door and reached to pull out a cigarette, but realized that the pack was in his trenchcoat. He sighed and walked over to the carton on the counter, pulling out another pack.

He lit the cigarette and leaned against the counter, blowing smoke rings.

"I turned her, so I'll make sure she has what she needs.", he swore to himself. He made a few clones and sent them out to the workshop with Hinata's height and general size in mind. "I doubt she'll be... thrilled... about having to drink, which means she'll stick to blood packets. She'll need the coffin if she wants to keep her strength up."

He paced for a few more hours, trying to think of anything the Draculina might need. In truth, he was going to offer her a home with him; he had everything a vampire could want: Shade, blood, and privacy. She might appreciate the latter most of all. The start of Vampirism had been awkward enough for him, mainly because he was getting close to puberty when he turned. Hinata was almost free of it, but he knew that it took a lot of quiet meditation to come to grips with some of the... urges of vampirism. Teenagers want sex, vampires want blood; a pretty shitty combination when you sat down and thought about it.

He looked out the window at the horizon, finding that the sun was just starting to poke out from the treetops. Hinata would be waking up soon, and Kurenai and Kiba would probably be returning soon.

He was suddenly struck by a random whim, something that happened often but was often ignored. Perhaps he needed a quick break; a torturous break that would leave him with the sort of control that a No-Life King should have. Still... he couldn't leave Hinata without a word and only Tsunade to explain what had occurred.

He shadow stepped into an Alley near Main Street, intent on following the new whim.

(Konaha Hospital, Room 153)

Hinata had been almost completely unresponsive to Tsunade and the nurses; other than acknowledging their existence and having nodded once, she hadn't moved since she had awoken. Tsunade had decided to find Naruto and see if he could communicate with the girl, having just walked out the door and shut it when Naruto shadow-stepping into the room. He saw she had been changed into one of the hospital's off-white gowns, and the head of the bed was propped up.

"...Hey... Hinata-chan.", he said, slightly nervous. Upon hearing his voice, a ghost of a smile formed on Hinata's face, though her eyes seemed a little fuzzy. Normally a pale lavender, and almost indistinguishable from the whites of her eyes, her pupil-less eyes were now an odd shade of amethyst; a combination of the crimson they would turn when she was angry, and the lavender they were when she was human. "How are you feeling?", he asked, speaking both telepathically and physically in case her senses were muddled from the change.

"O-okay...", she replied, barely a whisper. "I can't see much, and I can't really hear anything... but I'm so thirsty..."

Naruto looked to the blood packet that hung from a nearby stand; the tube it was connected to was plugged, and had no needle. I was a feeding tube basically.

"Hinata... do you remember what happened during the mission? I know it might be hard, but do you remember what happened after you were hit with a kunai?", he asked. She needed to know before he made her drink.

"N-not much...", she started, throat obviously dry. "I remember a pain in my chest... and then in my neck. You asked me something right before the second pain though...", she trailed off, trying to remember.

"I asked you if you wanted to die a human or live as a monster.", he said, walking over to the chair beside her bed and sitting down. He gently let his hand rest on top of hers, and she responded by turning her hand over and lacing her fingers between his. "This... is not going to be easy to explain –or accept –so please, just trust me."

Hinata nodded, and looked at him expectantly with eyes that seemed a bit glazed over. After her first packet, her senses would become crystal clear.

"You told me that you wanted to live, so I did the only thing I could to save you.", he said, trying to think of a legitimate way to word this. "Hinata... I made you a vampire."

Silence.

Naruto, reading Hinata's thoughts, could tell she thought it was a joke, but at the same time she knew him well enough to know his "Serious" tone. On top of her dulled senses, it was causing the draculina a fair bit of confusion and part of her thought it was all a dream.

"Hinata... I can make your world clear again; I can clear the clouds from your vision and return your dulled hearing, but I cannot make you believe this. I want you to drink from this straw, and do it with your eyes closed. I promise that it will help, but you must promise me that you will remain calm when you're done and you open you eyes.", he offered, grabbing the tube.

He could feel her trust in him as she nodded and let her eyes close; it was almost painful to think that he had forced this fate on her.

After removing the stopper, he gently pinched the tube to stop blood from leaking out and gently set it against her lips. They parted and allowed Naruto to put a little more of the tube in, though once she got a gentle hold with her teeth he let go.

He wondered if he had the same perplexed look on his face the first time he had drank. Her thoughts were clearing up, something that caused her a great deal of joy, but the taste of the liquid seemed to be triggering memories of something else that she couldn't quite place. Whatever it was, she thought to herself, it was divine.

When the pack had been drained, Naruto gently pulled the tube from her lips and set it aside, taking Hinata's hand in his own again.

"Hinata... you just drank one pint of Type A human blood. Your senses and thoughts should be clearer now.", he said, giving what he hoped was a comforting squeeze. "Open your eyes."

He sensed her nervousness as her eyes opened, though he could see the amazement in her thoughts and eyes as she looked around the room. The clarity of it was shocking, and so many details she had never imagined were now visible to her. She turned to look at Naruto and let her jaw drop a little; he had an ethereal beauty before, but now every detail of his sharp face was visible to her. He actually had a scar running from his hairline, down over his left eye, that ended an inch above his jawline, but it was pale and faded; barely visible against his alabaster skin. Then she saw the tube she had drank from, and her eyes followed it back up to the empty packet.

Silent terror filled her eyes, and Naruto could feel the whirling confusion that permeated her thoughts. She, much like he had when he first found himself calling himself nosferatu, was questioning her sanity and having a multitude of thoughts based around the supposedly "fictional" state of being a vampire.

"Hinata...", he called softly, gaining her attention. "Calm down my fledgling."

She felt a sudden wave of calmness wash over her, though the initial disbelief remained.

"I understand your... fear.", he said, knowing that was a large part of it. Fiction didn't exactly portray vampires as nice people. "I felt much the same when I gained the curse twelve years ago."

"...I...", she started, having trouble finding the words. This seemed like a dream, but she could feel the reality of it; it was almost too much. "...vampire?", came the simple question at last.

"Yes.", he said, frowning slightly. "There is much I should tell you, and much I need to reveal to the team as a whole. Can you wait week or so to hear my explanation –for everything?", he asked, confusing the heiress.

"Week?"

"Tsunade wants to keep you here for another day to make sure the change happened without incident, and theres a mandatory therapy for...", he trailed off, seeing Hinata's memories had filled in the blank. She shuddered, brought her knees up to her chest, and wrapped her arm around them, squeezing Naruto's hand tightly with her free hand. "It's supposed to last a week, and Tsunade wants you to stay in the hospital for the duration. It's mostly so she can keep an eye on you and make sure you're alright."

"...why can't you tell me now?", she asked, looking over to him with pleading eyes.

"My control slipped, and that's what caused this mess. Normally, large crowds make it hard for me to control my bloodlust, but I can't afford to lose control again. So, I'm going to force myself to gain a better level of control by putting myself in one of my worst nightmares.", he said, sighing.

"What?"

"... promise not to laugh?", he asked, a light smile. Hinata nodded. "A festival. Huge crowds, and it's easy for a few individuals to go missing without being noticed. If I can go through the week-long festival that's being held at Tanzuki Gai without killing anyone, I'll never have to worry about losing control again."

"...you're going to a festival while I'm stuck here?", she said, attempting a smile. Naruto chuckled and nodded.

"I feel guilty enough about the whole vampire thing; don't throw this on top of it.", he replied, smiling. "If it makes you feel better, I'll be miserable and half crazy throughout the whole thing."

"... It kinda does actually.", admitted after a moment, resting the side of her head on her knees so she could look at him. "Win a prize for me?", she joked, desperate to lighten the mood. She knew he was telling her the truth, and she felt different, but his explanation might be too much for one morning.

"Actually...", he said, a little color coming to his face as he stood up. He slipped his hand from Hinata's grasp as he pulled scroll from his pants pocket, since his trenchcoat was hanging on a hook by the door.

He unrolled it and unsealed a few things, mainly a couple of blood packs that he set down on her bedside table and a pair of sunglasses.

"The blood is self-explanatory. The sunglasses are there in case you want to sleep during the day and the shades on the windows don't block out enough light; you'll find that it takes a fair amount of darkness for you to sleep, and even a little light on your eyes might keep you up.", he explained. He Turned his back to her and unsealed the last item, not sure of how to do this.

"What are you holding?", she asked. He had never tried to hide anything from any of them before, physically at least.

"Umm... I've never gotten anyone a gift before, and I don't know if you're the kind of girl who likes these... but I read a psychology book once and it said that having something to hug and hold can help with trauma patients...", he said, knowing it sounded terrible. Sighing, he turned around and presented his gift to her.

Hinata gently reached out and took the plushie from his hands, slightly stunned by the gift. It was a gray-furred wolf with green, leaf-like designs in said fur; it's mouth was made to look like it was grinning, and it's green eyes also had a degree of joy in them. It was about a foot-and-a-half tall, and very soft.

Hinata bit her bottom lip as she held it to her chest, deeply moved by the gift; no one had ever given her plushies when she was a child and she had always wanted to buy one, but Haishi had forbidden her, saying they were children's things.

"Thank you, Naruto-kun.", she said softly, eyes watering. Naruto scratched the back of his head sheepishly.

"You're welcome.", he replied, letting her have her moment. When the initial glamor of the moment wore off, he coughed, getting her attention again. "Hinata, I will say this; you are my fledgling, and I am your master. As soon as I turned you, a sort of bond was formed that allows me to command you. I'm not going to ask you to do anything you wouldn't want to, but if I order you to do something, your body will obey, no matter what your mind says.", he said, voice sounding slightly lamenting. "It's a terrible thing in my opinion, but I had an idea that might make your life a little easier."

"What is it?", she asked, slightly disturbed by the thought of a command she couldn't refuse.

"Well, the first few weeks will be difficult; you'll be thirsty all the time and only blood will alleviate the thirst. Then you'll start thinking of how you could kill those around you and drink their blood; horrible thoughts that find no bond or person sacred.", he started, biting his own lip to stop the rant. "The point is, as long as you drink the blood from the packets and, I know this sounds weird, sleep in a coffin with the soil of your birthplace, you'll be able to survive. The thirst will make killing very tempting though."

"So I... I would want to kill... everyone I know?", she asked, horrified.

"Want, maybe. Will you, hopefully no. Generally, or at least in my case, as soon as I found myself thinking about killing someone, I just stop that train of thought. However, your thirst will be greater in the first few weeks than the rest of your life, and thus it will make you more dangerous. If I order you, however, to not drink from anyone without my permission, or to only harm someone if self-defense, you'll have no choice but to be perfectly safe to those around you. You'll still be thirsty, and will occasionally want to kill someone, but you won't. It should make the first weeks much easier, and I can remove the ordersonce you gain enough self-control. Would you like me to order you to do that? I'm not sure how effective it will be in the face of a new-born's hunger, but it should help a little if nothing else."

Hinata said nothing for a few minutes, coming to grips with the thirst she was starting to feel and the thought of the orders. She eventually gave a small nod though, not knowing what to expect, though she hoped it would help.

"Hinata Hyuuga.", Naruto began, an odd and almost mocking tone to his voice(Imagine Alucard talking to Seras... he does sort of have a mocking tone). "I hereby order you to only drink blood from the packets given to you or made available to you, and, in no way other than in self-defense or the defense of another, you are to cause no harm to anyone you meet."

Hinata felt a shudder run down her spine as he finished, leaving her feeling a little disturbed. He stepped back over to her and put a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"That should be it.", he said, eyes glancing over to the clock. The festival would start soon. "Hinata, I need to go now; I'll try and be back in time to see you out of the hospital, alright?", he asked.

"Alright...", she replied, attempting to smile. "Go... try not to kill anyone.", she said, slightly scared at how easily the phrase had left her lips.

Naruto gave on of his trademark, sweeping bows before disappearing into the shadows. Hinata actually saw the shadows swallow him though, and it scared her a little. She clutched her new plushie to her chest a little tighter and laid back down, intent on trying to sleep it off.

Or something like that.

* * *

There's the end of that chapter. In all truth, it did make me a little sick to write the Almost-rape scene, and I know it was poorly done; I was originally going to just have her Almost-killed and turned, but it seemed unlikely that Naruto or Kurenai would be distracted enough to not watch the nukenin unless something like that had happened. In truth, this does give me a legit reason for her pairing...

And yes, I know Naruto forgot to tell her she was welcome to live in his house.

A quick note, as something was brought to my attention by a reviewer who PM'd me. He said that he had wanted to say something in a review, but was concerned he would offend someone. If you wish to say something, but don't want to put it in a review because it might offend someone, go ahead and PM me.

Ja Ne, My Freaky Darlings.


	5. Personal Crisis

Good Evening, My freaky Darlings...

This is sort of a, at least to me, relaxed chapter. It's mostly just speaking, Naruto's urge to slaughter, and humor. Not necessarily in that order either. Also, Naruto has a little interaction with a certain demoness... the poll is still open though people :)

Disclaimer: I do Not own Naruto or Hellsing.

(3 songs helped(as in kept me writing) with this one: The Riddle, Nik Kreshaw; The Riddle, Gigi D'Agostino; The Riddle, Thunderstone. Are you seeing a pattern?)

* * *

"_Fuck shit damn motherfucker cocksucker sonuvabitch."_, Naruto thought to himself as he walked through the crowd, a smile on his face. _"It's like a fucked up game of Duck,Duck, Goose... only it's Deflowered,Deflowered, Virgin, and the first one to make the vampire bash his head into a wall wins."_

The first night had gone well enough, and the sun was setting on the second night of the festival. It had no "official" times, but it seemed to start at five in the evening and end at five in the morning. There were, of course, certain stands or bars that had different schedules, though most seemed to conform to the binge drinking and festive atmosphere.

"_**Someone's having fun."**_, a dark voice called from the back of Naruto's mind. His surprise was only show in a split second of hesitation before he continued walking.

"_Kyuubi-chan, so good to hear you after putting up all those mental walls."_, he replied sarcastically. He had blocked the Kyuubi out a few years ago, having gotten fed up with her constant jibs and complaints. That and the fact she kept trying to make him turn into his true vampiric form every freaking night.

He had tried to explain it to her once that killing someone as a vampire and draining them, as she wanted him to do, was vastly different from killing someone as a ten story demon. She didn't believe him, and all she knew was that when he used more of his powers, the more she could feel what he did. He had never used enough for her to feel everything though, which was probably why she kept pestering him.

"_**So good to hear someone other then Whedabra. Do you have any idea how fucked up it is to be the Kyuubi, and have a sword talk down to you?"**_, she lamented,**_ "A sword that looks like a nine-year-old girl?"_**

"_Would you prefer if I looked like a nine-year old boy? I assumed, personal preferences aside, that since I never create any clothing for my forms, you would be more comfortable with a naked girl."_, came the smooth voice of Whedabra.

"_What do you want Kyuubi-chan? Surely not another dose of my sparkling personality?"_

"_**I want you to go bat-shit crazy."**_, she said, laughing at her own joke.

"_How about I put up more mental walls? I like that plan actually."_, Naruto thought back, smile widening.

"_She's been good. Let her have her little commentary job for a few minutes"_, Whedabra said, mocking the bijuu.

"_**Is it so bad to want to feel the wind on my face?"**_

"_When it requires me to be in an almost berserk state at night?... Yes."_, was the simple reply as Naruto walked on. He tensed as a group of girls walked by him, giggling at nothing; each one was a virgin and three were on their periods by the scent of blood in the air.

"**Oh come on, you know you want to drain them all! Why resist?"**, The Kyuubi goaded.

"_Because he is not a mindless killer, as you once were."_, Whedabra snapped, throwing up a menagerie of walls to shut the Kyuubi out.

Naruto gave no response to his sword's actions; Whedabra only spoke when the Kyuubi did, so thanking her wouldn't do any good.

"Darn it!", a young girl shouted out, a few feet to his left. He looked over to see a dart game with a menagerie of stuffed toys as prizes; his thoughts trailed to the new draculina and he shook himself to stop those thoughts. He had come for control, not lamenting.

He, on a whim, moved to the counter and set money down for one game. The goal was to get a bull's eye on a swinging target. The man set the three darts down in front of Naruto, and the Vampire picked one up.

"Which one did you want?", He asked, looked at the young girl. She couldn't have been more then ten or so, and her sister(He assumed) looked to be a few years older. Both seemed surprised by the question, but the younger girl pointed to a purple furred rabbit. "Alright."

He threw the dart, missing on purpose. Ninja weren't allowed to do games like this, and he didn't exactly fit the normal 'civilian' look. He had exchanged his trenchcoat, pants, and boots for a black haori and hakama, along with straw sandals before coming here, though the fact he was seven-foot-flat still stood out.

The second hit the outer ring, once more purposefully. Naruto pretended to concentrate and threw the final dart, making it sink into the bull's eye.

"Not bad. Take your pick.", the man behind the counter said, pulling out the darts. Naruto took the rabbit and handed it to the young girl, who accepted it with a gleeful exclamation. Her sister looked down at the happy smile and looked back to Naruto to thank him, but he was already walking away. She considered going after the man to thank him properly, as he wouldn't be hard to track in the crowd given his height, but something told her he was content without thanks.

"That was stupid.", Naruto muttered to himself. Moving around kept any one scent from lingering and tempting him for too long. Standing there for the thirty seconds he had left him with both virgin's scent stuck in his mind. "Candy, delicious treats, cake, fruit, alcohol, perfume, and all I can smell is blood.", he muttered quietly.

Deciding to take a small break, he broke away from the crowd and walked for a few minutes, eventually coming to a small hill the led down to a river. There was a single apple tree on the hill, and it suited the vampire fine.

He moved down the hill a little and sat down under the tree. There was a walkway in front of him, running alongside the small river. His hunger was starting to become increasingly annoying, and he had finished the last of his cigarettes an hour ago. Chain smoking was not a conservative act.

After a few moments an almost painful wave of hunger struck him, and rested his forehead against his palm while he battled against it. It went on for a few more minutes before it finally started dying down. He didn't remove his head from him palm though, not knowing what color his eyes were and not wanting to scare any passerby.

"Are you alright mister?", a young female voice asked from in front of him.

Naruto looked up, taking a gamble with his eyes, in order to properly address the speaker. She was young, probably close to fifteen, and had long, flowing red hair. Her eyes were a light green, and her skin was fair, though not nearly as pale as his. She was close to 5'2" and wore a blue kimono with golden wave designs which hugged her figure while keep an almost chaste amount of modesty. Then again, the fabric wasn't exactly strained against her B-cup chest; she probably _had_ to wear it tight so it wouldn't come open.

There was another woman beside her, obviously older and more developed, but she had the same physical features along with a few extra inches of height. Her kimono was green with leaf patterns in autumn colors.

He attempted one of his charming smiles despite his desire to kill them. It seemed easier to resist then normal though, meaning he had made progress.

"I'm fine; just hungry.", he replied, trying to make it seem like they could wave it off. The younger one's brow furrowed for a moment before she reached into the paper bag she had been carrying.

"Well we can't have that...", she said, pulling her hand out of the bag and depositing a small pastry into Naruto's hand. He stared at it in surprise before looking back to the girl with a raised brow. She stepped up unto the hill and sat down beside the vampire, oblivious to the danger.

"Hikari don't sit on the ground! You'll get your kimono all dirty!", her sister chastised, hands on her hips. Hikari just smiled.

"Then I'll wash it later. I can't just stand by while a man goes hungry when there's something I can do about it.", Hikari replied, looking to Naruto. "Go ahead and eat, it's really good. I was saving that for later, but you probably need it more then me."

Her sister sighed and walked off, heading for the bench a few meters down the walkway. Naruto was stunned by the kindness of the act, and had to remind himself that no one here even remotely knew him, let alone what he was. He looked back to the pastry, wondering how long it had been since he had eaten human food.

"Thank you.", he said, quieter then normal. He brought the lukewarm pastry to his lips and took a bite. It was a baked ball of dough with strawberry jelly inside, judging by the taste. He shot a quick glance to the virgin beside him and wondered if she was planning to stay until he finished. The concern was touching.

"Just go ahead and take a big bite; you're acting like it's poison.", Hikari said, a sort of confused smirk on her face.

"Forgive my hesitation; I am not used to concern from strangers.", he replied, continuing to eat the pastry in small bits.

"My name is Hikari Sora. There, now I'm not a stranger anymore.", she said, like it made everything in the world okay. "What's your name?"

He considered lying for a moment, but decided not to. The pastry did taste good.

"Naruto Namikaze.", he said, taking another minuscule bite. She blinked in surprise.

"Namikaze? Like Minato Namikaze, the Yondaime Hokage?", she asked, surprising Naruto. Not many people made that connection.

"I'm his son.", he said, turning his head to look her in the eyes. "But how do you know his name? Not many outside of Konaha bother with it's history."

"My father is a fairly wealthy merchant who mainly trades with Konaha. My sister and I grew up learning Konaha's history, both recent and old, so that when one of us takes over we'll know as much about the place as father. It's some weird trade thing.", she explained happily, "But the Yondaime's son! This is really an honor!"

She tried to stand up and bow, but Naruto grabbed her shoulder and gently kept her from standing.

"No one has ever bowed because of my last name, and I won't let you be the first.", he said, an odd sound to his tone. In place of the cheerful melody it had been a moment before, it was now colder, and almost offended. He quickly removed his hand from her, feeling her pulse through the contact.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend.", she said, stopping herself from doing a small sitting bow out of apology. Then his earlier comment reentered her mind. "You said you weren't used to strangers being kind; do you mean ones that have heard of you, or ones that haven't?"

Naruto let out a short, melodic laugh that denoted his mood swing.

"Believe it or not, the ones that have heard of me are the ones who hate me. On the rare occasion I leave Konaha and speak with people, they are the ones who often display at least indifference.", he said, tone far to cheerful for how sad the line actually was. "Too few know me for who I am; they are my friends, and will have my loyalty until their deaths, perhaps beyond."

"That's deep.", Hikari remarked, sounding slightly impressed. Most nobles she had met were total airheads.

"Well, I _am_ a ninja; that scares some people to the point of unfriendly actions, I suppose.", he said, finishing the pastry.

"A ninja?", Hikari asked, tone suddenly starstruck. Naruto raised a brow and looked back to her, slightly surprised to see her eyes all but shining as she looked at him in a new light.

"Yes...", he said, not knowing how much he could say.

"What rank are you?", she asked, whipping out a notepad and a pencil out of nowhere. Naruto shook his head.

"I can't tell you if you're going to write it down. If you swore to secrecy, I might though.", he said, laying down on the hill. The urges were dying down.

"But no one would...", she started. She loved ninja, and had asked her father about letting her attend the Konaha academy a few years ago, but he had said no. Ever since, she had gone out of her way to write down things about the few ninja that came to Tanzuki Gai; if only so her friends would believe her. "Fine, I promise not to tell anyone.", she said, setting the notepad down. "Happy?"

"Good enough. Ask your questions, but don't expect an answer to all of them.", he said, starting to enjoy her company. Most humans stayed away out of buried instincts.

"What rank are you?", she asked, all but bouncing. Naruto contemplated this one for a while; technically, his team would have to be told, and the chunin exams were in two months: more then enough time for a rumor to circulate...

"Special jounin, technically speaking.", he said. If nothing else, this was a reckless endangerment of his mission and a surefire way to piss Tsunade off if she found out; perfect.

"Really? What do you specialize in?", she asked, so tempted to write this down; still, she had given her word, and she wouldn't tell a soul.

"You don't wanna know.", he said, connecting random stars in the night sky, making visually pleasing geometric shapes.

"Yes I do, I can handle it!", she proclaimed, though she had the sense to keep it a low whisper.

"Assassination. I'm never failed a mission.", he remarked casually. He glanced over to see she hadn't been deterred; then again, few civilians understood the severity of such a statement.

"Hikari, time to go.", her sister called before Hikari could ask another question. She looked torn, wanting to stay longer, but knowing the sort of trouble her sister could get her in.

"I'm sorry but I have to go; Akira calls the shots when father's gone.", she lamented, standing and hopping down to the walkway. She turned to face her sister and started walking.

"Hikari.", Naruto said, suddenly right behind her. She jumped and turned, a fair bit of surprise at his speed still on her face. Naruto took one of her hands and placed a playing card in it.

He let her take a closer look at it, knowing that it was unique type. He had several, but the design itself couldn't be copied.

It was an Ace card, with one side depicting it to be the Ace of Graves, bearing a tombstone with his name on it and the date he became a vampire(Get it? The day he died?). The other side was an Ace as well, but this time it was a bloody Dagger.

"Consider it a gift for your company.", he said quietly. "Let one drop of blood land on the tombstone, and I will be summoned defensively; it's actually a clone, but once it disperses, I gain all the knowledge it learned and can travel to the location. It's a defensive summoning, for rescues or whatever situation you might find yourself in."

"A-and the dagger?", she asked, having just noticed his height(He was sitting/ laying down before).

"Another clone, but if you use the dagger, it's for an assassination. The card can only be used once, no matter which side you use; choose wisely.", he smiled. Hikari shook her head and tried to give it back.

"I'm the daughter of a wealthy merchant, and a peaceful one at that; I don't need an assassin or a bodyguard.", she explained. Naruto took her hand and gently squeezed her fingers around the card.

"Fate is fickle, Destiny is insane, and Karma is a bitch. Life is never a sure thing; keep the card. I'd hate to think I left such a kind lady to the mercy of Luck and Chance.", he said, letting go of her hand. Hikari was blushing, but she nodded. "Now then, your sister is giving me the evil eye, so I had best leave. Don't forget your promise."

With that he took a step back, gave one of his bows, and walked off, whistling a merry tune. Hikari stood there for a few moments, touched by the concern. Then the thought hit her:

"_I've got a special jounin looking out for me!"_, she thought, a wide smile spreading across her lips. She spun around happily to face her sister, all but skipping over.

"What, did he recite an epic poem for you or something?", she asked, wondering what got her in such a good mood.

"He...", she started, but remembered her promise. "He made me promise not to tell. But he really made my night. C'mon, let's go home sis.", she said, skipping along.

(The Next Night)

Naruto was once more wading through the crowds, feeling much better then normal. After his meeting with Hikari the night before, the urges were becoming easier to ignore. Amazing what Acts of Random Kindness can do.

They were still there of course, and he did find himself resisting the urge to lure a few of these beautiful young girls away for a quick drink. Then again, it would be more trouble then it was worth; he had plenty of blood packs, and a seven foot, twenty-year-old guy leading a younger woman away...

He already had people shout out "murderer" when he wore the Nosferatu mask; he didn't need them shouting pedophile. That was Orochimaru's district.

"_**Why do you even worry about fighting him? Between me, Whedabra's powers, and your true form, you should be able to stomp him flat."**_

"_Didn't Whedabra block you out?"_

"_I did. She became annoying however, and I decided to share my misery. Merry Christmas."_

"_**You should know you can't block me out forever. Now answer my question."**_

Naruto sighed and broke free of the crowd, heading into an Alley. He quickly jumped up to the rooftops to respond, not wanting to zone out in the crowd.

"_I can only enter my true form in utter darkness."_

"_**Which Whedabra can provide!"**_

"_Your chakra disrupts the flow of my blood and souls; it causes me pain and makes me less effective in combat."_

"_**You move a little slower and are stuck in shadow-state; not like you can't fight like that!"**_, she shouted, sounding triumphant.

"_He can indeed, but you'd only see the killing from the "backseat". You'd urge him to do more, kill more, and ultimately lose himself to his instincts."_

"_**You say instincts like they're a bad thing. I've gone on nothing but instincts for centuries, and look how powerful I am!"**_

"_All the power in the world wouldn't change the fact you're stuck with me till I die; which will be a very, very long time. Maybe, if you're good, I'll actually let you see what I see, and feel what I feel the next time I call on Whedabra's powers and enter my true form. Perhaps then you will realize what you ask of me."_

"_**Sounds fine to me."**_, was the arrogant reply. It was the death of a human; nothing special. She killed them in droves and never felt anything; why would killing one or two up close invoke any special feelings.

"Well I'll be damned. Didn't expect to see you anywhere near a festival Naruto-kun. I thought you hated them.", Kakashi said, walking up beside the vampire as he came out of his zoned-out state.

"Kakashi-kun?", Naruto asked, surprised to see the man. In his hand was the ever present porn, though Naruto noticed it was softcore compared to his usual choices. "What are you doing here?"

"Team 7 just finished their second C-Rank. We just had to escort a merchant caravan here; it went without issue, but the trip was long and the genin were paranoid the whole trip. They're resting up at the Gold Neko Inn, but I've got permission from Tsunade to stay a few days.", he said, glancing over at the vampire. "I'm starting to think she wanted me to keep an eye on you. Which brings me back to the original question I had, "Why would you be at a Festival?".

"Team 8 did their first C-rank.", he said, hanging his head slightly. Kakashi saw the change in his old friends demeanor and put his book away.

"What happened?", he asked.

"It was supposed to be recon on a bandit group, but...", he paused, anger choking his words. "But a bandit came out of his tent, waving a torn dress like a victory flag. It was covered in blood and semen stains. I... I-I lost it; Nosferatu took over.", he said, starting to visibly shake. Kakashi put a hand on his old teammate's arm to calm him. "Because of my stupidity, Hinata got separated from the rest of us and almost raped. If that wasn't traumatizing enough for her, she had to watch me hack her would be rapists to pieces... and then..."

"Deep Breaths, Naruto-kun.", Kakashi said, feeling bad for him. He couldn't blame him though; he had issues with pedophilia, especially the implications of the dress, but Naruto had enough control issue to worry about. When something like that happened, Nosferatu, what he and Itachi had dubbed his battle-ready side, kicked in and the killing started.

"You know I don't breath Kakashi-kun.", he replied, a laughless joke. "She... clung to me... like I was some sort of safe haven...", he continued after a moment. "I managed to restrain myself and put my trenchcoat over her, as her clothes had been ripped and cut off, and I led her to Kurenai-chan. When Hinata heard her voice, she let go and tried to turn, but the nukenin leader broke the genjutsu Kurenai-chan put over him. He threw kunai; two missed, one hit Hinata's heart. I tore him in half before he made it ten feet; I don't think anyone saw me do it either."

"... I see.", Kakashi said. "I know how it feels to lose a comrade."

"Kakashi, she died then and there, and two days ago I gave her a plushie and apologized for killing her.", he said, knowing he would understand what he meant.

The cyclops blinked in surprise before the realization sunk in. He patted Naruto's back apologetically.

"I'm...sorry. I remember how hard it was on the both of you when you had to turn-"

"Don't bring that up.", Naruto said, voice suddenly strong and commanding. "I intend to make her vampirism as comfortable as I can, if such a thing is possible. Still, I came here to settle the matter of my Bloodlust. If I can make it through the whole festival without killing anyone, I'll not need to worry again.", he said, not so stealthily changing the subject.

"Sounds like you'll be here as long as we will. Want to return to Konaha together then? I could use some company that gets the obscure sexual jokes about Icha Icha.", Kakashi replied, taking out the book to signify he had dropped the subject.

"... Tsunade-chan really let you stay here after the mission?", he asked, turning to look at him with a raised eyebrow.

"What? Do I look like the sort who would lie to be lazy?"

"In a heartbeat."

"... She said that as long as I train them while we're here, it's alright. I figured I train them during the day, and let them do what they want at night. I'm under the impression that one of them will do something stupid and the results will make them a little more careful."

"Sasuke Uchiha, Sakura Haruno, and Shino Aburame; one of them is bound to do something "socially unacceptable".", Naruto said, carefully wording it. "Sasuke's arrogance will land him in a whole mountain of bullshit, let alone what his revenge complex will get him into. Can you imagine him fighting Itachi?"

"As funny as that would be, Sasuke had a revelation of sorts during our first mission.", Kakashi said, gaining Naruto's attention. "It was to a village called Wave, under the power of a Business Tyrant. He actually hired Momochi Zabuza and his apprentice to kill us."

"How did that work out for them?", he asked, the question more for comedy then information; Kakashi was alive beside him.

"I don't know all the details, but the apprentice said something to Sasuke in the woods, though he didn't know it was him at the time. Read the report if you want the whole story, but after a heart-tugging display of affection and loyalty, Sasuke changed.", Kakashi paused and flipped the page, not sure of how to word it. "I wouldn't say he's given up on killing Itachi, but it's more passive now; he said he'll only fight him if he happens to find him instead of actively looking for him. He's still pretty driven, but it took Haku's speech about precious people to snap him out of "Avenger mode"... either that, or the solid ass-kicking he received knocked something back into place."

"Mini-Itachi?"

"Not even close. He's much more bearable, but the boy spent too much time being antisocial; he doesn't know how to communicate and it's driving him nuts."

"Sakura is probably thrilled.", Naruto said, stepping towards the edge of the roof. Kakashi followed him, and soon they were both jumping along the rooftops.

"Actually, she gave up on his affections after a realization of her own right before his revelation; she's supposed to apprentice under Tsunade when we get back, since I'm shit with healing jutsu. Shino doesn't seem too affected by the change, and nothing is different about my training; mainly chakra control and increasing his reserves, since the Aburame give most of their chakra to their bugs."

"Sucks for Sasuke. How's his training going?"

"Ninjutsu and control for the most part. He's in the process of learning the Chidori actually; I won't teach him the Raikiri yet.". The response surprised the vampire. Sasuke must be fairly trustworthy if Kakashi was teaching him the Chidori.

"Then do we have to worry about Orochimaru converting him? The curse mark can change all but the most fanatical.", he reminded him, though he was impressed that the boy had come far enough for Kakashi to have taught him the Chidori.

"Definitely. I don't know how strong his loyalties are, but he's trying to find his 'precious people'. If Orochimaru can find a way to twist it, our jobs just got harder.", he replied. "Still, for now I think they deserve a break; none of us were really rested after the whole Wave fiasco, and this festival might be just the thing. Sakura said she was eager to look around, and Shino was silent, though he didn't seem to oppose the idea. Sasuke seems torn though."

"Let me guess: between his social skills and lack of communication skills, he doesn't know how to speak to anyone, and doesn't want to ruin his teammate's nights because he's having trouble getting the stick out of his ass. Is that about right?", Naruto asked, jumping down to the ground in an Alley. Kakashi was soon beside him as they walked back into the crowd.

"More or less.", he said, sighing. "I don't know if I can help him with that."

"Is that I favor I hear being asked?", Naruto said, an almost wicked grin on his face.

"Well you are technically a homicidal maniac, but you manage to smile and be perfectly charming in a social setting. If nothing else, you can at least take him to a brothel.", Kakashi said, giving an eye smile. "That might improve his attitude."

"That reminds me, I need to get Kiba-kun to a brothel; a promise I made on the first day.", he recalled, wondering how that would end. Worse come to worse, he somehow gets a girl pregnant and Naruto would deny ever taking him. That's what he loved about his political position; he could lie to people, and have them know he was lying, and they would still believe him.

"Perhaps you can kill two birds with one stone?"

"Don't you mean, "Lose two virginities in one trip"? I don't feel like going back to Konaha and getting Kiba; too many questions and I'd like to be ready for them, which I'm not."

"Well if you feel like removing a stick from an Uchiha's ass and then beating some manners into him with it, go for it.", he offered, closing his book as they neared a sake stand. "Up for a drink?"

Naruto scoffed but walked to the stand anyway.

"Like the good old days?", he asked, remembering his time in the Anbu; before he became Nosferatu the Damned.

_Flashback_

"_Hello.", Naruto said to his faded reflection, trying to work on his "Friendly" voice. "Hello, Taicho", he repeated, brow furrowing under his white bat mask. "Go to hell human.", he finally said, flipping the bird._

_As much as he wanted to use that greeting, he knew he couldn't. His career depended on it. Sure Tsunade and Sarutobi had pulled some strings to let him skip the academy and start as a chunin, but their power only went so far. Telling a superior officer to go to hell might just get him fired._

_There was supposed to be another person like him in the squad; someone "too young" to be there. An Uchiha if he remembered correctly. He was actually a little older, around a year or so._

_He looked over to his clock and realized his meeting with his new squad was in a few minutes._

"_Let's hope this works this time...", he muttered, walking into the shadows and hoping he didn't walk into the wall... again._

_A second later he was standing in the courtyard of Anbu HQ, and there were a few people assembled. Anbu squads were never large, rarely topping ten members, so he was willing to believe the five Anbu before him were to be his squad._

_He walked forward, keeping a decent distance from them to keep his bloodlust in check, and looked over their masks._

_Weasel, Rabbit, Rat, Bear and Cat. This was his squad._

"_Hello.", he said, voice cutting through the air like a knife. The Anbu had been talking amongst themselves, though he doubted they hadn't noticed his approach when they turned to face him._

_Weasel stepped forward and gave a small bow._

"_I take it you are the new recruit that Tsunade-sama told us about. We welcome you to our ranks.", he said, voice denoting his age. Naruto gave a bow in return, keeping it simple. _

"_Thank you for the welcome. Forgive me if I do not seem... social.", he apologized. Cat waved it off, giggling lightly behind her mask._

"_It's alright; we didn't join the Anbu to talk, we joined to better serve our village.", she explained, tone jovial._

"_Silence is the ally of a ninja... but you don't need to stay silent if you find it necessary to speak.", Rabbit said, giving a small bow of his own. "Now then, let the initiation begin!"_

"_...Nani?"_

_Flashback End._

"That was a long time ago, before I joined the Anbu, remember? You and Itachi ended up being my commanding officers for a few months.", Kakashi said, waiting until Naruto was done recalling those first few moments. "I forgot to ask back then, but was the thing with the rubber chicken and the tutu the same thing you two had to do?"

"I had to do it, but Itachi had to be painted pink and streak through a nearby town. They were going to change it, since I was only eleven and he was twelve, but apparently tradition overruled our pride and decency. And age."

"It wasn't so bad after that though. I remember the first mission we had as a squad of Anbu; you two pulled my ass out of so many fires that night.", Kakashi recalled, chuckling as he sipped some sake through his mask. "You two were the "Prodigy Captains", and I was the rookie."

"Yeah, and the next morning you decided to go get drunk to celebrate. Oh man, watching you stumble around with a sake bottle in one hand and a fake ID in the other... that was funny as hell.", Naruto said, paying for another round.

"It was fun while it lasted, but why did you two let me get the tattoos? I couldn't move for a week because of them!", Kakashi complained, sending a mock glare Naruto's way.

"I don't see why you're so touchy about them; most women would find them exotic."

"Why do you think I wear the mask?"

"... so you're finally coming out of the closet? Wonderful news!", Naruto said, a wicked grin on his face. Kakashi paled considerably when Naruto's form suddenly shifted to that of a shorter, attractive blond teenager. A female teenager. "Hey barkeep! A round for my brother; he just came out of the closet as a flaming homosexual!", he/she shouted, voice definitely feminine.

The woman running the stand looked confused at the girl's sudden appearance, but as long as her brother was the only one drinking, she didn't care. She set another bottle down in front of Kakashi and winked.

"You know, my cousin needs a boyfriend if your interested.", she offered, smiling at him.

Naruto couldn't hold it any longer though, despite how long he could have let it continue. He burst out laughing, and his form quickly shifted back to his normal form, scaring the hell out of the bartender while Kakashi just facepalmed.

"Sorry lady, I'm straight. My friend is just an ass.", Kakashi said, taking drink. He looked over to Naruto, who was trying to over-dramatically catch a breath the he didn't need. Naruto put the money for the drinks down and stood up, mirth still evident on his face.

Kakashi stood up and followed him, not knowing if the vampire would do anything else damaging to his reputation.

"Why did you have to do that?", Kakashi asked, shaking his head once he caught up to Naruto.

"Because I don't get to indulge in many ways during this festival; making fun of you is entertaining and not detrimental to my, or anyone's, health.", Naruto said, fox-grin back in place.

"You know, if it weren't for the fact you're a dear friend, and the fact I know you'd heal from it, I'd stab you right now.", Kakashi muttered, taking out Icha Icha. "So, how did you like the trip down memory lane? Nostalgic enough for you?"

"Yes actually."

"And Sasuke?"

"I'll talk to him, but don't expect the world. Remember, he was antisocial because he didn't want them in his way, I was antisocial because I wanted to kill them.", he said, knowing the scarecrow wouldn't let up until he at least tried. "Oh and Kakashi-kun...", Naruto started, looking over at the cyclops.

"Yeah?"

"I overheard Kurenai-chan saying she liked the sort of tattoos that you have. Perhaps you should ask her out on a date when you return to Konaha."

"... You expect me to ask a beautiful woman out just because you, you of all people, told me she likes tribal-style tattoos? There's more to a relationship then physical attraction, Naruto-kun. I've reached a point where I'm tired of one night stands.", Kakashi replied, almost lamenting.

"...You've been reading the softcore Icha Icha too intently Kakashi-kun. But, then again, I'm the only one who's damned; more power to you, my friend. May you find love where others cannot."

Kakashi sighed and closed the book, looking over at his tall friend.

"Still going on about your "Hollow Heart"? Didn't Itachi beat some sense into you the last time you fought?", Kakashi asked, putting the book away yet again. Naruto shrugged.

"You suck enough blood and souls out and after a while, all you hear is screams and all you see is terror. I am a monster, I've forced the same fate on two people, and I embrace the loneliness that I deserve.", Naruto said, walking forward like a machine.

"Don't tell me I have to kick some sense into you. Really, don't. I can't get my foot up that high.", Kakashi replied.

"Hinata is the only one who can understand my situation, and I've seen her soul; she'll not take me.", he remarked, brushing some of his silken hair from his face. "Love me as a friend and brother? She already does, but her heart is meant for another. I have no heart in the first place."

"Would you like me to cut your chest open to prove you wrong?", Kakashi offered. Naruto chuckled and shook his head.

"Leave me to my misery, my dear friend. I'll speak with Sasuke tomorrow; send him to the field east of town.", Naruto said, walking off into the shadows and disappearing.

Kakashi stopped walking and looked at the spot Naruto had disappeared, turning his gaze to the Full moon above. He sighed and took out his book, though his gaze didn't leave the silver orb above as he wove through the crowd.

"Naruto... when are you going to realize that none of us blame you for what you are? No monster is beyond redemption.", He muttered quietly, remembering the past once more. "But then again, no monster can be redeemed if they don't want to be."

Sometimes he worried about the vampire. The title of No-Life King, as he had once been told, forced certain powers and standards unto Naruto; certain realizations had to be made, lest he fall to his hunger and thirst. Perhaps though, having Hinata under his wing would do him some good; someone to at least talk to. He didn't doubt Naruto's words of their compatibility issues, but sometimes friendship heals faster a quart of sake and a good night.

"Wow, that was deep. Maybe I could write a book?", Kakashi wondered. "But why do that when Akane-chan just stumbled into Mai's bedroom?", he looked down to the book in his hand and wished his friend a good night, before walking off to get some sleep.

* * *

There's that chapter. This was just sort of a Filler that gave you a small peek into Naruto's past. Also, because I know some asshole is going to bring this up, I know I probably screwed Itachi's age up. I'm not sure when he killed his clan(I want to say 16), but I'm going for 17.

Alright, here is the current status of the poll:

Kyuubi:18

Konan:21

Tayuya:17

Remember folks, it's still open!... and I may disregard it entirely... hehe... But I'll try not to, promise!

Ja Ne, My Freaky Darlings.


	6. Another Day In a Painful Paradise

I bid you welcome to another chapter, My Freaky Darlings!

This is chapter 5, for those of you who have not been paying attention... like me. Really, I had to look back and check!

Look, I know I screwed up Itachi's age, but in all honesty I'm not going to bring up an exact number in the story. He was in Anbu with Naruto for five or so years, including their time as captains. At that point Itachi killed his clan and fled. Kakashi worked with Naruto for a few years before he quit the Anbu. Naruto was in the Anbu until the start of this story(CH.1), and is technically still instated as Nosferatu.

As you might have noticed, I'm taking a chance with redeeming Sasuke; I've never really made him nice before, so this may blow up in my face...*Gasp* but wait, if it blows up in my face, what'll happen to my beautiful hair?(Weeps)

Ifrit: Dude, pull it together.

Mazera: You've got a story to write.

Hector: But the hair! My beautiful silken hair!

Alucard(Either one is applicable): Silken my ass. Read the disclaimer you idiot.

Matador: Hector does not own Naruto or Hellsing.

Alucard: Wrong idiot, but I'll take what I can get.

(This is what happens when I drink sugar/caffeine this effin early)

**Warning! This Chapter Is the first of many scenes with Whedabra, who's form is that of a nude young girl. She flat out states that she has sex with nine other girls who look the same age(Whedabra controls their physical ages), though they are all actually of "Legal"(they are way over 18) age. Still, the intercourse is implied, and later stated, to occur when they look like children, so if any of you have problems with Lolicon(Yuri Lolicon at that), you might not want to read over those parts later. I repeat, this is going to have scenes of sexual content or reference with girls appearing to be between the (Human Equivalent) of ages 9-10 ish in the near future, thought they are of the legal ages for their respective races. This is not due to a particular fetish I possess, but is instead my way of portraying Whedabra's philosophies.**

**My Friend Sebine would like to include his version of this warning:**

**Warning: Love it or Shove it. That is all.**

* * *

"You know, if she didn't have such an ego, I might like her a lot more then I do.", Naruto remarked, sitting on the alabaster throne. It rested at the end of a large hall, the throne room of the White Castle that made up his mind scape. Whedabra was floating around on a bed of darkness, keeping the vampire company while he slept.

"She just wants out. Can't exactly say I blame her.", she replied, rolling over to face him. Whedabra was, in all honesty, slightly disturbing to talk to at first. She was as nice as could be, though she had a short temper at times, and did her best to keep to either her wing of the castle or the surrounding town; the town itself was her creation. It was actually quite pleasant after a while, but talking to a nude girl, one that looked eleven years younger than yourself, was always awkward at first.

She was only 4'5", her skin was a pale white, and her silver hair fell to her mid-back. To her credit, she had willed her hair to cover her non-existent breasts, even if she laid on her side, when she had first met her current wielder; it was mainly to ease some of the awkward moments, though she didn't bother to cover anything now. Her eyes were the only part of her that one might imagine a Darkness spirit having; they were pitch black, though she did have whites to her eyes.

"Still, I wish she could see why I don't use my true form; the instincts and bloodlust might give her a thrill, but it's...", he trailed off, looking for the word.

"Disturbing?",Whedabra offered, playing with a little of her hair while she floated.

"Beyond even that. I don't know how Alucard could stand it.", he admitted, resting his chin on his fist. "Then again, my humanity is still fresh in my mind; his died long before the Hellsing Organization, and Kyuubi-chan never had any.".

"You hate her for her desires, but you like her for her soul, despite knowing her desires are a part of it; do you ever make any sense, my darling wielder?", Whedabra asked, smiling playfully at him.

"I make as much sense as I need to I suppose.", he muttered, looking out the stained glass windows at the end of the throne room.

"A vampire in a white castle full of sunlight; the dismissal of the common stereotype is... arousing."

"Then go ask your harem to fix the problem; you know damn well I'm not helping.", Naruto said, sending a half-glare at the sword.

"For the last time, it's not a harem; we're a collection of lovers!", she countered childishly, which was sort of disturbing given the subject. Still, Whedabra was Thousands of years old; if she wanted to have sex looking like she was nine, he supposed it was her choice. Then again, he had to question why her lovers, all nine of them, looked to be girls of a similar age. To each her own, he supposed.

"Right. Doesn't change anything; if you have an itch, get them to scratch it. Pedophilia isn't my thing.", he sighed, turning his attention back to the windows.

"You say that now, but in a few centuries, after you die and I get your soul, you may have a different opinion.", she reminded him, rolling unto her back and putting her hands behind her head.

"Great, I'm going to be raped by a loli.", he muttered, just loud enough to have an orb of shadows thrown at him. He leaned to the side and let it fly by him.

"Must you be so pessimistic about it? Tahlianna was nervous at first, but I made us look older when we fucked for the first time. Then I steadily decreased our ages until we were perfect again. In fact, why do you insist on being such a dreadful age?"

"What's wrong with twenty?", Naruto asked, half-offended. Then again, this might be his chance to find out why she insisted on walking around as a naked child.

"Good and Evil are so... Black and white at that age; it's no fun at all. Especially in this world; everyone's a pessimist. It's always, "That's evil", "That's Bad", "This is no good", etcetera."

"And what, my dear sword, makes walking around as a naked-nine-year-old girl any better, let alone acceptable?", he asked.

"There's a point in anyone's life, generally a little bit before they start physically "Becoming Adults" or puberty, where there is Good and there is Evil, but they're too innocent to know the difference. Oh sure, killing is bad, and kids know it, but things like love and sex are blurred together; you don't know the difference, you just know that both include someone you love, and they both make you feel wonderful. Life is simple and straightforward; there are no "Hidden Motives" or dividing lines between actions. There are just things that make you happy, and things that don't.", she explained, deciding that after everything she had tormented him with since she knew he was so touchy about pedophilia, she could at least tell him why.

"That, oddly enough, makes sense. Since your wielders generally come from war-torn times and worlds, the ones that impress you and join you are given a simpler, more joyful existence. A child's logic, but a nice fate all things considered.", Naruto remarked. "Seriously though, next time I catch you fucking in the throne room, it's my boot up your ass.", he glared at the spirit, who was chuckling nervously and holding up her hands in a placating fashion.

"That was Rinnia's idea, not mine.", she said, sitting up. Naruto, despite knowing she wasn't a little girl, would never actually hurt her though; it was one of the things she liked about him. He was actually the second fastest to secure a future spot as a lover. She even had a body made to house his soul already, though he would be the first guy to join. "Neh, Naruto, when you die... can we keep the castle? I can think of so many-"

"I swear to Kami if you say sex games I'm going to throw shit at you. Big shit.", He said, tapping his stone arm rest with his finger. "Like this."

"So chaste! I like that...", she said, shifting. "I think I will go get that itch scratched; Kami knows that Tahlianna was "itchy" when I left."

Naruto didn't know which disturbed him more as she floated away; the fact she was going to go have sex with a child-like elf-girl, or the fact she had started to finger herself just before she rounded the corner and disappeared from his sight.

"Sometimes, I think she's a little too open about sex.", he facepalmed, sighing. Of all the sword spirits in existence, he got the pedophile. Then again, since they were all technically legal by age, the youngest actually being in her early second century, and they all _looked_ like children... was it really pedophilia? Or was it just sex? "Why am I even thinking about this?", he muttered, standing up and walking off.

He was heading down to the dungeons because the castle, if only because of the emptiness and size, made every noise carry for quite a while at a much higher volume. He had heard Whedabra and her "lovers" more then enough times to know that if he wanted to avoid hearing things that should never be said with a child's voice, the dungeons were the only place to go.

The stone darkened as he descended the levels, knowing that the only two things down here were, as Whedabra put it, "Pessimistic Killers.". He paused a the fork in the hall, knowing one hall would lead to Kyuubi's cage, and the other would lead to Alucard's memories. The former No-Life King had somehow managed to preserve himself in his own memories, to his own lamentation; it was only a fraction of his soul, but that still meant the rest of him probably couldn't be judged until he got there. Naruto generally left the old vampire behind the large iron door that he had asked for, only talking to him for advice. He was a just a shadow of his former self, bearing a fraction of his powers and memories.

Naruto, as a thanks to the old Vampire, gave him the ability to materialize whatever he wanted in the room, be it wine or a shooting range. Since he couldn't be called on as a familiar, which Naruto was still struggling to do with other souls, Naruto really just left him to his lamentation. He stopped in now and again to see if the vampire had come up with a way to die without making Naruto suffer a major loss in his power, but so far the old Nosferatu seemed to prefer silent contemplation, occasionally recreating scenes of battles he had fought.

He doubted it would be a pleasant visit.

The Kyuubi was down the other hall, and he knew what to expect. He could always just leave his mindscape and wake up, but he needed rest if he was going to have to put up with an Uchiha. Besides, if he woke up, there would be echoes of Whedabra's sexual escapades in the back of his mind until they stopped, which might be hours away. At least Kyuubi didn't shout about how much rougher or faster she wanted it.

"Good evening, Kyuubi-chan.", Naruto greeted, rousing the fox from her thoughts. The design of the cage itself was simple: Three walls of stone, and one of iron bars. There was a door near the left wall, almost comically small considering the Kyuubi's size, that had the seal paper over the keyhole.

"**Why must you call me that?"**, She asked, sounding fairly annoyed. Then again, the only moods he had ever seen her in were annoyed, pissed, and lamenting.

"Call you what, Kyuubi-chan?", he asked, smiling. He knew it pissed her off.

"**I am the strongest of the Bijou; I am not to be referred to with such a personal suffix. To you, mortal, I am Kyuubi-sama."**, She stated, glaring that the vampire.

"Why?"

Kyuubi growled and swiped at the bars, making a large clang when her claws struck the metal. Of course, the bars weren't even scratched. Her tails were waving angrily behind her.

"**Because I outrank you! I am the Queen of the Bijou, and you are nothing more then a-"**

"I am the No-Life King, strongest vampire alive and ruler of a race of three.", Naruto said simply, cutting her off and angering her further.

"**Your powers are nothing compared to me!"**, she shouted.

"Why must you detest me so?", He sighed, making chair appear. He sat down and rested his right cheek on his fist, starting at the Kyuubi. He doubted she had figured it out, given the most prominent topic of her brooding; the reason he could stand to sit there for hours, listen to her scream, shout, and growl, and then walk away smiling.

"**A prisoner will always hate her jailer. That is all you are to me mortal, and were it not for your father's fool hearted summoning of the Shinigami, none of this would have happened!"**

"Does it matter? Lamenting about the past does nothing to change the present."

"**Bah, a strong argument from one who lives in past mistakes."**

"I never said I wasn't a hypocrite. But tell me, Kyuubi-chan, if I live in four mistakes, do you live in twenty years? Does every second of the imprisonment give you one more of lamentation?", he asked, watching her building ire. "Because if that's true, then technically you're just grieving about the present."

"**Silence vampire! I do not grieve, and I do not spend my time living in the past twenty years of this hell!"**

"Why then, do you hate me?", Naruto asked, looking her in the eye. "If a prisoner hates her jailer, let it be because she is sad she is jailed. If she isn't sad, and doesn't lament, as you say she doesn't, why waste time with lying about hating her jailer?"

She was about to respond when Naruto stood up, chair disappearing behind him, and turned to walk away.

"Call me your jailer if it makes your time more bearable; call me mortal if it makes you feel important; call it hatred if it will keep you sane. But know that I don't call you my prisoner, nor my tenant, nor my demon.", he said, not looking at her as he walked off. "You, Tsukiko Avaron, are my faith."

Kyuubi froze, staring at his retreating form with widened eyes and a shocked look.

"**H-How... how did he know?"**, she asked, shocked beyond her twenty year anger. Eight hundred and ninety-seven years, and she had never told a soul. It had been lost in the sands of time, leaving her with nothing to be called but Kyuubi no Kitsune. So how had he known?

How had he known her name?

(Real World)

Naruto's eyes snapped open as he returned from his mindscape. Whedabra had apparently taken the liberty of keeping the "Itch scratching" short, to his great relief. He threw up mental walls though, to block them all out; Kyuubi, Whedabra, and on the off chance he left his basement, Alucard.

If he was holding her sword, Whedabra could easily bypass the walls, but she sensed his thoughts as stayed behind them. Besides, with the walls up, provided they were quiet, she could go back and see about "helping" Valanthe. She was glad for the ability to materialize anything she needed within the castle; nothing like a ball gag to reduce the noise level when you're screwing a screamer.

Naruto stood up and reattached Whedabra's sheath to his belt before walking out of the room. He walked like a machine, each step measured and seemingly without meaning. Judging by the rising sun, he hadn't slept as long as he had wanted to, and that meant he would be waiting for Sasuke a little while longer.

He walked east, walking casually up the wall of a building and across it's roof like they weren't obstacles. Jumping gaps was the only time he even remotely picked up speed, and it was quickly lost when he touched down; soon enough though, he was jumping over the town's small wall, landing on the soft grass on the other side.

"And so the heavens, seeing the monster who couldn't cry, wept for him.", he muttered, smiling as the rain started to hit him. It was a light drizzle at best, but it didn't stop him from smiling at the clouds as he walked towards the field by a river to wait for Sasuke.

The rain didn't let up as he walked, but it didn't exactly get worse. A human would have wanted an umbrella; he took off his haori and let it turn back into shadows, reveling in the feeling of rain of his pale skin. Soon enough, he found himself at the proper place, and he noticed a tree by the river. It's leaves provided some shelter from the rain, and he half wondered if Whedabra would mind if he set her against the tree while he stood in the rain.

"_It's not like I'll rust."_, she said, her smile apparent in her voice. Valanthe hadn't been in the mood, and Whedabra never forced any of them; she conformed to their sexual desires, or lack thereof, as much as they to hers. Still, seeing Naruto like this after all the negative feelings he had been having recently was worth watching. Not quite as good as sex with an Elf in terms of physical pleasure, but she still liked to see him happy.

And few things made him happier then rain. Whedabra had called him out on it once before; he had told her it was the most childish thing he did with his time, and he made sure to do it whenever it rained. He'd removed any cloth on his torso, and even his Anbu Mask, and look up with closed eyes. When she asked how that was childish, he just smiled.

"_I like to stand there... and pretend that the water running down my cheeks are my own tears."_, she remembered him saying. It was odd, and melodramatic to boot, but something about it just moved her. Maybe it was the fact Naruto really _couldn't_ cry...

He sighed and tilted his head down and let his eyes shut, picturing a scene exactly like the field; same grass, same river, same tree, same rain. The only difference was the lady in front of him. He could never see her features, or what she was wearing, but she stepped forward and he went along as he always did. One hand went to a waist that wasn't there, and the other to her hand, which extended outward.

Then they started to dance. Naruto knew from eyewitness accounts, mainly from Itachi and Kakashi, that he looked like an idiot when he did it; not necessarily because of his dancing, because in the classical style in which he danced he was actually quite good. They just thought it was funny to see a shirtless vampire dancing in the rain with a lady who wasn't there.

Still, he didn't care, and he kept dancing for a good half hour before his smile widened.

"Sometimes you just have to stop caring about the world's opinion.", he said, loud enough to be heard over the increasing rain. "Consider that the first lesson, Sasuke-san.".

The Uchiha, standing under a black umbrella, was surprised that the man had sensed him with his eyes closed.

"You should have an Umbrella; might get sick.", he said, almost silently. Naruto brought his dance to a close and turned to the Uchiha with an undiminished smile.

"Your concern is touching, and perhaps a testament to this revelation Kakashi told me about, but it's unneeded in my case. I cannot get sick.", he said, creating another haori with a wave of his hand. Sasuke bore a look of surprise at the action, and opened his mouth to ask, but Naruto held up a hand to stop him. "Second lesson: Social life doesn't mean you give up all your secrets."

Sasuke nodded, but paused a moment. It looked like he was trying to swallow his pride for a moment, and once he succeeded, he bowed.

"I think I owe you an apology.", he said, the words all but tasting alien.

"For your attitude that day at the academy? Hardly.", he said, walking towards the boy. "Come, If I'm to teach you a couple of things about communication, we had best find someone for you to talk to.", he finished, walking back towards Tanzuki Gai.

"Why can't I just talk to you?", he asked, jogging for a moment to catch up.

"I'm flattered, but I feel I should inform you that I'm straight.", he said, fox grin directed at the Uchiha.

"I-I...", Sasuke sputtered, unable to come up with a plausible excuse. He hadn't meant it in that way, and he was straight, but no one had ever twisted a comment like that.

"Lesson Three: lighten up. If I thought you were coming on to me, I would have been far quicker in dismissing it.", Naruto explained, making the Uchiha give an angry sigh. "So why are you out so early?"

"Insomnia. After...after Tsukiyomi it's... it's difficult to sleep sometimes.", Sasuke explained.

"Itachi did always have a certain flair for genjutsu.", Naruto muttered, sighing at his old friends mention. Sasuke wasn't ready for the information of that night... or was he? The boy was 16... and while whatever revelation he had was still fresh in his mind... it might have made the perfect scenario to tell him. "Sasuke-san, What sort of revelation did you have? Kakashi was as cryptic as a Stoned Prophet."

The boy shifted uneasily as they walked towards the gate; he hadn't heard the remark about Itachi, but he wasn't entirely sure how to word his thoughts about Haku's words and actions.

"I... I met someone in Wave. A boy named Haku.", he started, but drawing a blank about how to word it without sounding stupid.

"Sasuke, forget stupidity for a moment; tell me what happened and what you felt.", Naruto pried, sensing his hesitation. The boy sighed and nodded, putting his free hand in his pocket.

"I had trained to unconsciousness one night, a few days after Zabuza attacked. The report has all the official details... but... when I fell asleep in the woods, he woke me up. He warned me that sleeping on the forest floor like that might make me sick."

"I take it your response wasn't exactly friendly."

"No. I was sick of people constantly worrying about me. I'll skip what I said, and I wish I could have apologized for having said it. Still, he... he asked me why I was out in the woods in the first place. I told him I was training to get stronger.", he bit his lip, knowing this wasn't sounding like a sort of "Grand Revelation" moment. "He replied that I must have had many precious people to be training that hard. I told him that I was training for myself."

"Bad results?", Naruto asked. Not many people were out today, but with the festival's time frame most of them were sleeping off hangovers right about now.

"He sounded... disappointed. He asked me if I knew where true strength came from. I've never been asked a harder question. A million and one answers came to mind as I stared at him, unable to say one. He smiled and told me, "True strength doesn't come from jutsus, muscles or hate; it comes from precious people, people you'd do anything to protect.". I told him everyone I cared for was dead. He shook his head and mentioned seeing me with Team 7.", he paused and looked over at the vampire, finding that he was paying attention. "I've called the team a stepping stone so many times it's not funny, but then and there... it was just more. At first I though it might have been the exhaustion. Then when the battle on the bridge happened... Haku kicked the shit out of me. I managed to knock his mask off, and I was shocked. Then, as the world turned dark due to a menagerie of senbon in a menagerie of places, it just sort of clicked. I know it doesn't sound Awe-inspiring but... I woke up the next day, and my first thoughts were "Damn. I'm an asshole with no purpose."."

"I'll admit, you're a pretty shitty storyteller; but I sort of understand. Some things don't have words; they just click and no one else understands.", Naruto said, patting the shorter guy on the back. "Still, what do you plan to do now?"

"In truth, I've apologized to everyone I thought deserved it, and I hope that my efforts to become a good person make up for the rest.", he said, sighing. "Still, it's not easy to forget that many years of wanting to kill someone_ that_ badly."

"It was only five or so years. There are worse time frames in the world.", Naruto admitted. "Neh, Sasuke, you do have your headband on, right?"

"It's in my pocket. Didn't want to get it wet; rust and all that.", he admitted, pulling it out of his pocket. "Why do you ask?"

"Because I'm taking you drinking. Drunks are a good place to start with social training; their easy to please and if you say something wrong, you'll get punched or slapped. Nothing like a good brawl to teach you how not to talk to someone.", he said, taking the boy's shoulder and making a sharp right into a bar.

"Alright, let's see some ID kid.", The bouncer, half hidden in a cubby by the door flaps, demanded, stepping out to intercept them.

"Here you go.", Naruto said, showing the man his Konaha headband. He took it and tried to bend it a little, and after finding it to be the solid metal that all official headbands were, he handed it back. "Now give him yours."

Sasuke, having no idea if he even wanted to drink, hesitated for a moment before handing his over. The bouncer did the same check and handed it back with a smile.

"Alright, they're real. Sorry boys, had to check. You knew in town?", he asked, arms folded.

"I'm here on Vacation; Sasuke-san is here with his team, taking a break after a mission.", Naruto said.

"Just to let you know, this is a mostly civilian tavern. We do a little food here, but it's mostly beer and sake; just make sure you keep it down and keep it civil. I'd hate to have to throw two shinobi out and make you look bad.", he said, smirking.

"Just make sure not to hit my head on the door frame if you do. I'd hate to dent such a fine establishment.", Naruto joked, getting a laugh from the bouncer.

He walked in, Sasuke close behind. When they actually got into the tavern itself, Sasuke found the atmosphere to his liking; it was dimly lighted, though there was a makeshift stage that held a few people playing some mood music. There were booths along the walls, and a couple tables in between.

Not many people were here, but Naruto picked a booth near the door; Sasuke noticed, as he sat down across from him, that Naruto didn't have a drop of water on him.

"Not nearly enough for a hands on lesson.", Naruto said, smiling when the waitress came over. Oh how he wanted to paint the walls with her blood.

"What can I get you two?", she asked cutely. Naruto looked into her eyes and smirked as she suddenly zoned out.

"Sasuke, when I break eye contact, I'm going to order a beer. Order whatever you want, but I want you to try and flirt with this girl. She just went through a break up and she wants a little company if you catch my drift.", Naruto said, still looking in the waitresses eyes.

"N-Nani?", Sasuke almost shouted; what the hell was he talking about?

"Consider it a crash course in pleasant social interaction between complete strangers. Just smile and say things that would make her feel good about herself without making yourself seem like a creep.", he smirked, looking over at the price menu stapled to the wall. The waitress seemed to snap out of her trance without any recollection of having been in it.

"A beer if you would. I've nothing better to do then get hammered.", he said, cheerfully smiling.

"I know that feeling. And how about you sir?", she asked, turning to Sasuke.

To his credit, he gave Naruto's smile his own flair, the vampire couldn't help but wonder if he hadn't been practicing facial expressions.

"Please, call me Sasuke; I doubt I could bear the walls of formality and the status of stranger, given your beauty.", he said, charmingly. If Naruto hadn't been in Anbu for nine years, he might have let his jaw drop. Kakashi thought he needed _help_? If the girls blush was anything to go by, he should be writing a book on this. Still, he had plenty of time for a fuck up. "May I then ask the name of the radiant angel before me?"

"_She's wearing a name tag you twit."_, Naruto thought to himself, almost face palming.

"Akemi. We have these for a reason, Sasuke-san.", she said, letting out a light laugh while holding her little metal name tag out a little.

"Forgive me, Akemi; I couldn't bring myself to look away from those gem stones you pass for eyes.", he said, motioning to her turquoise eyes.

"_Nice save. Let's see if she goes for it."_

"O-oh. Thank you.", she said, blushing. She remembered her job though, and quickly brought her pen and pad up. "Um, what do you want again?", she asked.

"Other then a chance to get to know you better? I'll go for some sake.", he said, smiling still.

Akemi returned it, and seemed to be having trouble writing the it down. Naruto doubted she needed to write it down for memory's sake; probably just to take a quick look at Sasuke without making it look like she was staring. Judging by her thoughts, she was enjoying the attention, though she didn't really know how to respond; her last boyfriend had hooked up with her because of a friend, not because of her own flirting skills. Perfect.

She walked off, heading towards the bar to get all the orders that she had gotten on her trip around the bar.

"Naruto-san, why the hell did you ask me to do that? I have know idea what I'm doing!", he whispered harshly. "How the hell did you learn so much about her anyway?"

"Your eyes see jutsu. Mine see souls and thoughts. Now then, her break is in twenty minutes. She usually doesn't leave, and takes lunch in the booth on the other side of the room.",he explained, not giving him time to talk. "Oh and by the way, you are skilled at winging it, if that little performance was "No Idea what I'm doing."."

"What?", he asked, confused as all hell.

"Sasuke, just go with it. You'll be making her day if you can show her a little kindness. Flirt, and offer to take her out to the festival tonight.", he said, playing with some of his silver hair. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a fair amount of money, handing it to Sasuke. "I expect to get what you don't spend back."

"You've gotta be kidding.", he said, not believing it, but pocketing the money anyway.

"If you refuse to do this, I will fabricate evidence that you had sexual intercourse with Neji Hyuuga; I trust you know each other?", Naruto threatened, making Sasuke pale.

"You wouldn't..."

"You don't know anything about me, and quite frankly I can't believe I even have to say this, but... be nice to that girl, and treat her right.", Naruto smiled, standing up and walking over to Akemi. "Excuse me, miss?", he asked, getting her attention. She turned to face him and smiled. "Could you erase the beer that I ordered; something just came up and it requires my attention."

"Sure, no problem. Is there anything else?",She asked, cutting a discreet glance at Sasuke.

"Yeah, I know this might sound inappropriate, but could you talk to my friend a little? He's had a rough time lately, and some human contact might help him, y'know?", He asked, giving her a sort of "Sorry for asking" smile.

"Well I can't do it while I'm on the job... but I get my break in a few minutes, and I get off an hour after that. Think he can wait that long?", she asked, smiling like it was an inside joke. "He seemed a little... forward... for someone going through a rough time though."

"That's his way of "Hiding It", he's normally a bit withdrawn; most ninja have some sort of history. You don't have to if it'll be any trouble, but at least he seems willing to talk to you."

"Oh, alright... I'll... uh... I'll see what I can do.", she said, smiling.

"Thank you.", Naruto said, heading out the door and mouthing "Stay put" to Sasuke as he left.

_'You're a shitty match maker, you know that?"_

"_Yep. Wasn't really trying to make it easy for him though."_

"_You told Kakashi-"_

"_I said I'd try. Sasuke proved to be a little more... advanced, then I would have believed. At this point, theres not much to do but trail and error. Besides, if I just wanted to get him laid, I would have waited for the drunk women to stumble in."_

"_Bah, you don't understand the complex art of love."_, Whedabra complained.

"_Nope, not at all. I wasn't trying to get him a soulmate though. If he can make it through the night without getting slapped, He'll be fine without me."_

"_True. But what about Kakashi?"_

"_Dunno, I'll tell him what happened, and see how it goes. In all honesty, I doubt he'll be overly upset."_

Whedabra shrugged and went back behind the mental wall, going to see about a massage.

Naruto, deciding to skip the wandering and just find Kakashi, started walking around, looking for the Golden Neko Inn. In all honesty, the urges were almost gone, much to his surprise. Still there of course, but he doubted that there would be any particular urge he couldn't resist.

(Konaha, Hospital. Room 153)

"How are you feeling today, Hinata?", Tsunade asked, walking in. From what she had heard, Hinata's therapy was going as well as expected, though she still flinched away from the male nurses. It had only been three days, though Tsunade didn't want to tempt fate; she made she that everyone to visit Hinata was female, even going so far as to not let any of her male friends or even her father in the room.

"Thirsty, but not bad.", she replied, clutching Moriko, the stuffed wolf Naruto had given her, to her chest. "I think you were right though... about my eating problems...", she muttered, not wanting to say it flat out.

"Well, it's not like it's a disease; you're a picky eater. Not like it'll kill anyone.", she said, patting her on the shoulder.

"... I doubt it's normal.", she said, squeezing her plushie. Tsunade sighed and sat down on the edge of the bed.

"Hinata, vampires have a whole different "normal" then humans. It's blunt, and I know it might be hard to hear, but it's true.", she explained. "Kami knows Naruto was more frightened and freaked out then you when he first became a vampire."

"...H-he was?", she asked. She pushed down the urge to reach out and tear her head off, Naruto's order helping, and waited. Tsunade seemed a little torn for a moment before nodding.

"I can't tell you too much, just because Naruto regards it as sort of personal.", she apologized. "But, I can tell you a little... just some biological and anatomical changes I remembered when I looked over Naruto's record; might save you some experimentation."

Hinata, knowing she at least felt different, bit her lip and nodded.

"Now then, first off is the heart. It doesn't beat, but your blood still flows at a slow, but steady, rate. I assumed this was to keep it from becoming stagnant or something. In Naruto's case, he's had his heart stabbed twice and lived, so apparently the movies got it wrong.", she joked, getting a half smile from the heiress. "I don't know if there will be any reproductive changes, but Naruto is still capable of producing sperm, so you should still be able to have kids if you want."

"H-how do you know about Naruto's... you know... uh...?"

"It's standard for male ninja from noble clans, especially when their numbers dwindle, to have their "Reproductive ability" checked, in case their numbers dwindle almost beyond repair and they need to either invoke the Clan Restoration Act, or just go for Artificial Insemination. If they were sterile, the clan might just disappear from the face of the earth.", Tsunade explained. "But Naruto isn't a girl, so I don't know how it will affect a womb or ovaries. I can't find anything wrong with my jutsu, and I don't want to worry you, but things about Naruto's vampirism have slipped under the radar before."

"Like what?", Hinata asked. In truth, the thought of not having children, or the inability to, was easier to accept then she thought. She didn't like the thought of any man touching her, or ANY part of one being inside of her.

"Well, he has bled more blood then what should have been possible. I thought it was just regeneration of some sort at first... but it turns out that a vampire doesn't just get sustenance from blood; they have as much blood as they have drank, and if Naruto is anything to go by, their veins can hold a massive amount without deforming."

"What has he been through to have bleed _that_ much?", she asked, getting to close to Naruto's past for Tsunade's liking. She knew he had to be the one to tell them some things, and this was one of them.

"That's something for him to explain.", she replied, patting her on the shoulder. "Moving on though, you have regeneration, though the rate is unknown. Your flesh and bones are stronger then normal humans, but not incredibly so; it's not armor. However, your muscles, no matter how strong you get, will never grow larger, and you'll never get any fat accumulation; lithe and beautiful for eternity, as Naruto says."

"I take it he was referring to himself?", Hinata asked, smiling. The man had an ego.

"Yep.", Tsunade replied, chuckling. "There should be an increase in speed and accuracy, though Naruto didn't ever explain the latter. Beyond that, there's one more thing."

"What is it?"

"You can't cry."

"I won't, just tell me."

"No... I mean you literally cannot cry. Your eyes still produce enough moisture to stay moist, but never more then just enough.", Tsunade explained. Hinata had the decency to blush, an ability she found she still had, when she had realized her mistake.

"Thank you, Tsunade-sama, for telling me. It's... good to know... sort of.", She said, quietly. It was sort of a relief to know that she wasn't imagining feeling different, and from what was described, she would have abilities to compliment her career... but...

"Tsunade-sama... will sunlight kill me?", she asked, knowing the little light that filtered through the shades was agitating, but not necessarily painful.

"Another question for Naruto. I've seen him walk around in daylight, but when his friend turned... well, they couldn't go out during the day without clouds and a hooded jacket.", Tsunade said, knowing she had said too much.

"There's another? Naruto... turned someone else? Who?", Hinata asked, eyes fixed on Tsunade. The kage broke eye contact, biting her lip; this was definitely on top of the list of things not to tell her. Naruto had killed an Anbu on the spot for mentioning it.

"It's a long story, and one that Naruto must tell.", Tsunade replied, standing up. "Hinata... Naruto regretted three things before he turned you, and I can almost guarantee that he counts this as number four. Those three things were killing innocents on his first blood rage, killing someone dear to him, and turning the other person I mentioned. Hinata, Naruto is a sad person who is convinced he is a monster incapable of finding love; the only time he felt it, he accidentally killed her because she wanted sex and wouldn't move away from his mouth when he asked.", She recalled the night vividly; some part of the boy had died. It was also the night he made his black mask and became Nosferatu the Damned. "He laments while he smiles, and there are topics you should avoid; the other person is one of them."

"Alright... but... has he told you?", she asked. This was infuriating; another like her, and she could only be told by the one who wasn't there.

"He brought him in so I could provide for him during the first few weeks.", she said quietly. "Please don't ask anymore, not from me at least. I need to make my rounds; get some rest.", she ordered, smiling while she walked to the door.

Hinata was silent as the Kage walked out, petting Moriko while wondering who Naruto could have turned. There was plenty that he hadn't told the team; she had known that before her own transformation. He might have been lying if he had answered some questions, or maybe his answers had been lies themselves.

Still, she didn't know enough about the nosferatu to even try guessing. She just had to accept the fact that she'd have to wait for him to return before she'd learn anything. She rolled onto her side and hugged Moriko again, thinking back to her "Picky Eating" with a light smile. Maybe it was just a psychological thing, but she didn't really mind, now that she thought about it.

"Well Moriko-chan,", she whispered, bringing the wolf up to look it in the eyes. She knew it was childish, but she didn't care at this point. "Looks like it's nothing but the blood of women for me."

She kissed the wolf on the nose before hugging it close and shutting her eyes. Just female blood sat fine with her, now that she thought about the tastes: when either gives the same nutrition, why drink cheap wine(Male) when you can have exquisite wine(Female)?

There were worse fates, she supposed. Her therapist had suggested taking a vacation to collect her thoughts, and Tsunade had approved; maybe when Naruto got back, he could tell her a decent way to spend it, instead of letting her lament about what could have happened.

"I need to stop thinking such... pessimistic thoughts.", she muttered, switching over to a more pleasant thought train; memories of training with her team. Soon enough, sleep claimed her, though the dream was a little different from the usual.

Lately, she had been scared to sleep, fearing nightmares of the mission. To her relief, they had been of a far more pleasant variety, but confusing nonetheless. She had, the last three dreams, been walking around a town. It seemed to be a little like Konaha, but there were no giant walls around the perimeter. The people were friendly, though none of them seemed to notice her... save for one.

A little girl, probably no older then nine with silver hair and black eyes, had waved at her in all her dreams before running towards the Large white castle at the center of the town. The only reason she followed at first was because she was going unnoticed as well; it wasn't until the second dream, which had happened closer to the castle, that she noticed the girl was naked.

Now she stood just inside the castle's doors, looking around at the colors the stained glass threw everywhere. She felt like... she shouldn't be there; like the town was neutral territory, but the castle wasn't. She slowly backed away, walking back into town.

She didn't even notice Whedabra smiling in the doorway behind her.

* * *

And there's the end of ch.5... I think. Yep it's the end :)... I didn't proofread this very well, so don't bitch at me... really.

So, we have more mention of Naruto's first turning, Sasuke flirting with a waitress, Whedabra's sexual preferences, Alucard's existence(And continued lamentation), Kyuubi's name and astonishment, and a little bit about Hinata. I probably missed something, but I'll fix it later.

Now then, for those of you who are thinking about leaving an angry review regarding Whedabra, consider this: If she wanted to, they could make them(Her Lovers) all look the human equivalent of 18, but she thinks that after the violent and bloody lives they had(Also, generally fairly sad), they deserve a simple, pleasurable existence. They can still think and act like their ages, but Whedabra lets them use a much simpler logic: letting them think in terms of What makes them happy and What doesn't. Love(Which many lacked) and sex makes them happy, so she gives as much to them as they want. If you actually sit back and look at it, it's a beautiful thing.

Now then, the next chapter skips three days, meaning it's the last day of both the festival and Hinata's therapy. It may end up being longer then usual, but the first half will be plot devices(As in things to move the story along) and a little humor(sort of... I think it's funny). The second half, when Naruto returns to Konaha with more than he bargained for, is mostly going to be explanations, humor(You might not like it), and maybe a plot device or two. I dunno.

For those of you wondering, and I may be slightly off on the meaning, Kyuubi's name does have a meaning: Tsukiko means Moon Child(In this case, Daughter of the Moon or Moon Daughter) and Avaron is the common Japanese pronunciation of Avalon, which is known as the Island of Apples(Isle of Apples). So, taken as a whole: Moon Daughter of the Isle of Apples. Or, and this has a lot implied, Daughter of the Moon, born to the Isle of Apples.

**AN**: I'm not sure how far I'm going to take Whedabra's sexual escapades(Adventures). In truth, and I know this may seriously piss some of you off, I don't really care if some of you get offended; it's just fiction. I just haven't found the "Line" that I'm going to draw with her. Am I going to do a full lemon with her? Probably not(I don't see how it would be relevant to the story). Are you going to see the start or end of lesbian lolicon sex? Oh yeah. Is this story going to be overrun by Lolicon? NO... Hell no. If I do Omakes, then Whedabra and her lovers may be in them, just because they can make almost any situation funny or awkward(This isn't a group of mindless sex addicts; these are actual Ocs with personalities).

Anyway, to take your minds off of that, I have the current Poll status**(still open)**

Kyuubi: 34

Konan: 31

Tayuya: 25

Now then, **I'm going to close it when I post the next chapter**, so go and vote if you haven't. If any of you are confused, feel free to PM me so that I can personally tell you that I am too.

Ja Ne, My Freaky Darlings!


	7. Return of a Vampire

Chapter six, My Most Freaky of Darlings!

I thank you for understanding Whedabra and her logic; really, I was expecting an angry horde with torches and pitch forks just for her being naked... hehe... No sense in not being prepared...Right?

Now then, before I move on... the Winner of the "Whose going to love the psychotic Vampire?" poll!

It's... Tsukiko Avaron, the Kyuubi no Kitsune!

Tsukiko: Ha! Take that ya scrawny bitches!

Tayuya: You can have him fuckhead. I actually wanna die in a few decades, not a few centuries.

Konan: Quite frankly, I want him dead. It's vital to the plot.

Tsukiko: I still won though! His undead ass is mine!

Hector: Not so fast; first he's going to scare the living hell out of you. Then you're going to go through a lamentation period, then Whedabra helps you. I haven't really got it figured out past that...

Tsukiko:... Nani?

Whedabra: You know Hecty, you really like the words Lament and lamentation in this story!

Hector: And you like Pessimist and Pessimistic.

Whedabra: It's not my fault, you pessimist!

Tsukiko:... Hello, confused kitsune over here!

Hector: Calm down... just be a psycho to Naruto for a few more chapters. I'll handle the rest.

Whedabra: You've got a lot to handle Hecty! There's Hinata's vampirism and dreams, Naruto's past, including his lover and friend, His time in Anbu, How he became Nosferatu the Damned, Tsukiko's love thingy, The Akatsuki, the chunin Exams, the Sand/Sound invasion, and I want you to do an Arc about me and my lovers!

Hector: ...do what now?

Whedabra: Hey, since I get Naruto's soul, does that mean I get Tsukiko too?

Hector:... sure. Have fun.

Tsukiko: NANI?*Gets dragged off by Whedabra*

I do not own Naruto or Hellsing

* * *

_The world didn't matter when she was with him; nothing mattered anymore. She had accepted all of him: his demon, his vampirism, his hunger, and she loved him for them._

_She was kissing him passionately, and he felt his own tongue dancing with hers, despite the warning flags. Moments blurred with hours, feelings blended with sounds, blood blended with shadow._

_He stared at her body, still warm, and at the blood on his hands; he didn't dare lick his lips to confirm his terror. He clutched her body and held it close, weeping without tears as the warmth left her smiling corpse..._

"NO!", Naruto shouted, jumping from his bed. His eyes whipped around wildly, searching for something to prove he was awake.

He fell to his knees and covered his eyes as he calmed himself. This was the room he had rented at he Golden Neko, not the house that...

"Where the fuck are my cigarettes?", he asked, standing and walking over to the table. He lit up a cigarette and took a drag, letting the smoke escape through clenched fangs. "This is not the time to be losing myself. She's dead, and no amount of lamenting can change it.", he said coldly, manifesting his trenchcoat.

Team 7 had headed back to Konaha the night before, though they were probably only half way back by now; The sun was in lower west half of the sky, denoting it was close to six or seven.

Before he could continue his thoughts, a rush of memories assailed him; each depicted a place he didn't know, but a girl who he did. Glad for a distraction, and a legitimate reason to be sociable, he walked straight for the shadows. Given the fact that the only thing in the room that was his was the carton of cigarettes, he made sure to grab it on his way. He'd pay for the room later... or never.

(Shadow Clone's last location)

Naruto emerged from the shadow, alert. The assassination clone hadn't been used, but there were memories of blood and battle.

He stepped from the hallway into the living room, sticking to the shadows. Whedabra was in his hand in a instant, as he smelled blood. There were a few bodies, with wounds matching an O-katana's blade; None of them were the girl who had given him a dumpling. Then he heard, it; a steady heartbeat. Perhaps a little freaked out, judging by the tempo, but it's owner was alive and well in the next room.

He walked into the kitchen, sword drawn until he was sure it wasn't a genjutsu and therefore a trap.

"Hikari-chan, are you alright?", he asked as he walked over; as he neared, he marveled at the difference the days spent at the festival had made. She was bleeding from a cut on her forearm, that delicious virgin blood still fresh on her arm, and he could restrain himself as he knelt beside her. She looked at him like he was her savior and threw her arms around his neck, sobbing.

"T-they c-c-came a f-few minutes-s ago." she started, barely coherent. He look over to see her sister, dead on the floor; He assumed, by the kimono on the man in the living room, that he was her father.

"Hikari-chan, calm down.", he said, not able to understand her pain. He couldn't relate, and only hoped to retain control. He looked at her kimono, the same one she had been wearing the night they met, and noted the tear in the sleeve was just large enough for his idea. "Hikari, do you trust me?"

She nodded, releasing her death grip on him. Her face was stained with tears and a little blood, but was otherwise fine... save for the mask of terror as the deaths of her sister and Father replayed themselves.

"Hold very still, alright? This is going to look very scary.", he said, trying to sound comforting or something of the like. She managed a shaking nod, gasping when his long tongue came from his mouth and stretched a good seven inches from his lips to lick her blood from her arm.

He made sure to pull his tongue back before he was too tempted, but he received her most recent memories from the taste, maybe seven or eight minutes.

_Flashback_

_She walked down the hall, humming a song that had been stuck in her head for a while. As she neared the living room, and the room past that which was father's study, shouting could be heard. Normally this wouldn't have been odd; merchants didn't always like the prices he charged to carry their goods with his caravan, and often vocalized their dislike._

_Now, however, there were sounds of fighting. Her hand wrapped around the unique card in her pocket as she started to walk away from the room, pulling said card from her pocket._

"_Maybe you'll be a little more agreeable after we kill one of your precious daughters!", a man shouted, following the sound of a door being thrown open. Hikari's eyes widened before she turned and ran towards the kitchen, card in hand._

_She had barely made it through the door when a white hot pain struck her arm, causing her to scream and trip over her own feet. The floor was unforgiving as she struck it, afraid to touch her wound; she couldn't do anything but watch as her kimono's arm was soaked in blood._

"_Leave her alone!", a woman shouted, running at the ninja. There was an almost wet thunk before something hit the floor, and Hikari looked in time to see Akira hitting the floor with a kunai in her forehead._

_She knew that at this point, the card was her best chance for survival; everything else blacked out for a moment as she took the card and dabbed it against the wound._

_All she knew, after looking over her shoulder, was that her father wasn't with the men; looking down the hall to the living room showed his corpse. She didn't know when she had started crying, but she felt the tears on her face as she crawled over to her sister's body, terrified to touch her._

_There had been a poof right before she went over, but she didn't hear or see anything else._

_Her family was dead._

_Flashback End._

"... That's not good.", he muttered, letting her put another death grip on him. He made a clone discreetly and sent it to go find out about the ninja's purpose here; he doubted that they had been hired by upset merchants, and the headbands with musical notes didn't bode well.

Hikari was a sobbing wreck at this point, crying into his hard chest with her arms wrapped around his torso. He, after receiving the clone's memories and those of the ninja and her father, almost regretted gently removing her arms and helping her stand, not giving her a lot of choice in the matter.

"Hikari, those men came for a reason. They are from a village that is an enemy to Konaha, and were attempting to sneak in using next month's caravan. Your father wouldn't let them.", he explained slowly, getting another shaking nod, the only sign she understood him. "But there may be more coming, and since the caravan falls to you, they'll target you next."

Hikari's eyes widened in terror, and her mouth opened to make some sort of scream, but nothing came out.

"I'm going to take you to Konaha, alright? I will make sure that no harm comes to you, but we must leave soon. We can stay to bind your arm and pack a few things, but no longer.", he calmly explained, seeing her calm down a little. He knew that in this state she wouldn't be able to shadow travel; the pure darkness would shatter her mind. Running was slower, but it was the only option now.

He made several clones, one of which tore off the rest of her sleeve to make a bandage. Another tried to hold her hand for some comfort while Naruto himself stepped away, disappearing into the shadows while leaving her in the care of the six clones.

He appeared in the lobby of the Golden Neko, walking over to the counter with a gait that scared the hell out of the clerk.

"Room 135",he said simply, like he wasn't in a hurry. He set the money owed down, and walked out. It wouldn't do to have someone shouting at him to pay for his room while he carried a sobbing woman out of the village; it would draw far more attention than necessary.

He stepped out into the street, walking towards the "gates" of the village to await his clones and Hikari.

"Uh...Baruto?" a voice called behind him, then louder, "No, Naruto! Naruto!", she shouted, remembering the name. The vampire turned to see a girl running up to him, remembering her as Akemi, the waitress he had Sasuke flirt with a few days ago.

"I don't know where Sasuke is; he left last night.", He offered, waiting for her reply. She took a moment to catch her breath.

"That's...okay. Are you heading back to Konaha? Sasuke said you were a ninja there too."

"_Nice move, Lieutenant Smooth. At least he only knows me as a genin; kami knows who she told."_ "Did he now?", he replied, folding his arms over his chest. "I intend to leave within the hour. Why is this of concern to you?"

"Look I... I really need you to take me with you to Konaha.", she said, blushing. Naruto looked around before gently taking her arm and leading her a few feet into a nearby alley; better there then the crowd.

"I'm already traveling heavier than I want to be.", he said, tone displaying the urgency of his situation.

"Please Naruto-san, I need to go to Konaha!", she said, a little too loud. He looked around, seeing nothing but a few sleeping beggars.

"Akemi-san, I have a girl whose father and sister were just murdered a matter of feet away from her, by ninja who wanted to use her father's caravan to sneak into Konaha. She's fragile right now, but She needs to get to Konaha for her own safety, not to mention this is a matter that may affect Konaha's safety in general.", he whispered harshly, "So unless you have a good damn reason to come, go home."

"I'm pregnant.", she whispered, flushed. "There's only one person I've ever been with like that, and he's half-way to Konaha from what you say.".

Naruto blinked once, and let a smirk come across his lips. Fuck lieutenant, he was promoting Sasuke to General Smooth. His first night with a woman and he knocks her up.

"And why are you so determined to go?", he asked, already forming the clones out of the shadows behind her.

"I... I don't believe in abortions... I don't have the money to raise child alone so... my father wants us to... to...", she said, blush intensifying.

"He wants Sasuke to have the courtesy to marry you since he knocked you up. This should be fun to watch.", Naruto remarked, motioning to the clones behind her a few moments later. "These clones will escort you back to your house and seal whatever you packed into a scroll; I'm keeping this as light as possible."

In all truth, not having studied female reproductive patterns, he wondered how she knew this early. Though he supposed, had they fucked on their first night, that one of the two or three medical ninja at the local hospital could have detected it, provided they were skilled enough.

By the time he turned, the clones had jumped off with Akemi in one of the clones arms, following her directions and displaying a level of gentleness that was rare for the nosferatu.

If all went well, both Hikari and Akemi would get to the gate at the same time, which meant less time would be spent waiting. He would be taking the straight route, and would be gliding over the ground; another ten minutes perhaps, but a little safer if Akemi really was pregnant. He might not have known much about pregnancy, or the fragility of the early states, but going up and down very fast for about an hour might knock her brain loose, let alone what her womb would suffer.

He lit up a cigarette, taking a drag while he waited for his clones and his "Cargo". He'd carry Hikari bridal style, given her increasingly catatonic state, while Akemi could hold onto his neck from behind and wrap her legs around him for extra anchorage. At least she could still move her limbs with some degree of control; Hikari was in shock, and it might be days before she could speak or move.

That still brought up the worries of accommodation... The Namikaze mansion was the most hospitable of the "safe" places for them; even if Hinata moved in, neither one would feed from Hikari, and Akemi would move in with Sasuke, even if he didn't want her to. Still, she could stay with him until Sasuke returned.

The only problem was the lack of human food; all he had was blood and tap water. He made two clones and sent them into the shadows, giving one an order to inform Tsunade on the current situation while the other was to go get some human food.

"Naruto-san, I'm back.", Akemi called, arriving at his side in a matter of moments. The clone set her down and poofed away.

"As are we.", a clone said as it walked out of an alley with Hikari. She had been wrapped in a blue blanket, and was still shaking fairly badly. The clone handed her over to Naruto, who held her bridal style as the clone slipped the scroll containing her belongings into his trenchcoat before poofing away.

"Akemi, you need to get on my back; wrap your arms around my neck and your legs around my waist. Do not worry about choking me, I do not breathe.", he said, turning and crouching so she could get on.

She was a little hesitant at first, but did as she was told; still, her grip on his neck was a little tentative as he stood.

"Akemi, I need to glide as fast as I can, and if you aren't holding on then you'll fall off in the middle of the forest and die.", he warned, feeling her grip increase tenfold. "Ready? You may want to keep your eyes closed if you suffer from motion sickness."

"I'm ready.", she replied, gripping a little tighter. She was a little worried about choking him, regardless of his words, but she figured that if he couldn't breathe, he'd stop and let her know. She did, however, close her eyes.

Naruto didn't say anything as he shot off. He called it gliding because his feet were only a foot from the ground, but the speed at which he was going was easily jounin. Akemi stiffened, and might have screamed if her eyes had been open, but she had no trouble gripping the vampire.

Naruto had to admit, gliding was the most pleasant of his movement methods. Shadow travel was the fastest, and turning into a swarm of bats was best left for times when he needed to observe a large area. Running was a good way to draw unwanted attention. Hikari seemed content with staying in shock and perfectly quiet, and Akemi didn't seem to mind the wind.

The trip itself gave Naruto a sudden moment of clarity, and it almost made him shit a brick: He was carrying two female virgins, technically one virgin and one that still smelled like a virgin, and despite the urge to drink, they were both alive. The many ways to mutilate them came to mind, but were so easily ignored it almost made him drop Hikari.

"Now is not the time for such revelations.", He muttered, narrowing his wide eyes as he reestablished a firm grip on the girl in his arms.

"What did you say?", Akemi shouted from his back, unable to hear him over the wind. She didn't get an answer, so she just tightened her grip and resisted the urge to open her eyes.

They continued in silence for a while, though Naruto noticed that Hikari had tears starting to roll from her eyes again. Perhaps she had exited shock and was starting to return to reality; All she was going to see was Naruto's face, upper torso, the darkening sky and the treetops rushing by, so it wasn't going to be that grand of a return.

Soon enough the walls of Konaha came into sight. Deciding to skip the formalities of going through the gate, Naruto neared the wall and jumped.

"Evening Gents.", Naruto remarked as he flew over the guards stationed on the wall.

One of the rookies ran over to hit the alarm, but his superior stopped him.

"Don't worry rookie; that was Naruto-sama. He's on our side.", he explained, not even bothering to look for the black spec that would denote his speeding form.

"But sir!"

"Trust me; Naruto's the only one who can jump the wall.", he said, sitting back down. "And he's probably at the Hokage's office now anyway... or he will be when I finish the sentence."

The rookie looked towards the village, wondering what sort of monster could have that sort of speed and jumping ability.

Naruto, however, wasn't heading towards the Hokage's office. The older guard had been right in a way though, he had indeed reached his destination by the time he had finished the sentence; the hospital was a fair bit closer to the wall then the Hokage's office though.

"Tsunade, this is the girl who's family was murdered.", Naruto said, setting the girl down on the bed. They were in the last room of the hospital, where Tsunade would treat her arm and hopefully get her out of shock. "You can let go now Akemi."

She let go with her legs first, slowly loosening her grip around his neck until her feet touched the ground. She seemed a little unsteady at first, but it quickly passed.

"So this is the one that Sasuke knocked up?", Tsunade asked, unwrapping Hikari. Akemi looked a little indignant, but didn't say anything. "Naruto sent a clone ahead, explaining everything. Don't worry, he'll marry you even if I have to order him to do it."

Akemi had the decency to blush at the comment, realizing that this woman was the Hokage. She looked over to Naruto to see him calm.

"I take it the "vacation" had it's intended effect?", Tsunade asked, noting his calm state in the presence of three women in a small space. He had always preferred female blood; she almost chuckled out loud, it seemed that he and Hinata were about to get into a bit of a fight for the blood.

"The urge is there, but is easily quelled. Do you wish for Akemi to stay at the Namikaze estate until Sasuke arrives?", he asked, glad he had switched back to his trenchcoat before he had gone to sleep. It made him feel a little more comfortable.

"It shouldn't be more than a few hours; I'd like her to stay with me until that time, as Team 7 has to report upon their return. I'll tell Sasuke about the... situation... at that point.", Tsunade replied, healing Hikari's arm. It was deep, but Naruto binding it had stopped it from bleeding her to death. "Hikari, that is her name, correct?", she motioned with her head to the girl on the bed.

"Yes.", Naruto replied.

"Once she's a little better, I'd like to put her under your protection. I understand you may have your hands full with Hinata, but she'll be a target if the next big caravan into Konaha needs her approval.", Tsunade explained.

"When does Hinata get to check out?", Naruto asked, cursing himself for having forgotten her on his run over here. "I am fine with your plan.", he added quickly.

"Tonight. I think I saw Kurenai and Kiba in the lobby about a half hour ago, waiting for the "Official" check out time.", Tsunade looked up from the newly healed arm and smiled. "Go ahead; these two will be fine with me, and I believe you own your team an explanation."

Naruto didn't say a word as he stepped into the shadows, leaving only the three girls in the room.

"That was freaky.", Akemi said, having never seen a person simply... disappear like that. Tsunade chuckled.

"You should see him on Halloween."

(With Naruto)

"Thank you.", the receptionist said, taking the papers back from Kurenai. She had, as the girl's sensei, checked her out of the Hospital.

Naruto looked at the three from the shadows, gaging their emotional states.

Kurenai seemed a little wary of the girl, seeing a little of Naruto in her appearance, though she looked incredibly relieved to see her alive and well. Kiba looked relieved as well, though he look a little tired; probably a little insomnia from his first kills. He, more then likely having missed Hinata being turned by Naruto's fangs, didn't seem quite as wary of her, but kept a distance from her after being asked to do so.

Hinata herself stuck a deeply buried cord within Naruto, reminding him of two separate memories at once. He shook himself of such thoughts and took in her form and stance. The vampirism had taken away what little fat clung to her frame, and her face hadn't take on the sunken look that many vampires had; Tsunade must have kept her well fed. She looked an inch or so taller, and seemed more lithe, but she seemed to be the same old Hinata. Of course, her distance from Kiba, the only male in the room, and the stuffed wolf she held to her chest with her left arm spoke of certain differences.

"Alright, are you ready to go Hinata?", Kurenai asked. Hinata's eyes showed she was still the student she had taught, but the color told her something had changed. She knew it had something to do with Naruto's reviving bite, but she couldn't figure it out.

"Yes... but I wish Naruto was here... He said he was going to try and be here.", She admitted. Then she felt something; like something had shifted behind her.

She whirled around, surprise turning to joy at the sight of her master, though the term made her pause.

"And here I stand.", He said, smiling down at the girl. "Forgive my absence, but it was necessary.", he added, addressing his whole team.

"Where have you been?", Kurenai asked, stopping Kiba from asking the same thing. Her tone was sharp, and she didn't seem overly pleased to see him so calm.

"There are a menagerie of things to be answered, Kurenai-chan. Most are not suitable for public ears.", he said, noticing Kurenai flush at "chan". "Come, my estate has both calm and privacy; I promise I will answer all questions there."

Naruto walked past them to the door, motioning for them to follow. Hinata was doing so in a heartbeat, with Kiba not far behind. Though slightly angry at a "Student" calling her "Chan", Kurenai followed after a moment of thought. If nothing else, she was going to find out how he saved Hinata, even if she had to get Anko to interrogate him.

He lead them through the most direct path to his home. He had explained he lived at the Namikaze estate before the C-rank, but had never invited them over. Each had a set of preconception on how it was going to look.

Hinata, knowing what he was, assumed it was going to be decorated in black and Red; Gothic, bat, and crypt themes everywhere. And a coffin.

Kurenai thought it might look a bit like a normal bachelor pad; messy, a couple porn magazines on the floor, and a sink full of dirty dishes. Kiba's thinking was along the same lines, though he found it a little more appealing than his teacher.

Finally, after a good ten or twelve minute walk, they had passed through the gates and were at his front door. Without any dramatic pause whatsoever, he opened the door and ducked through.

As it turns out, the design wasn't as dark as Hinata had thought, and was far cleaner then what Kiba and Kurenai had thought.

The room he had lead them into was large, and was separated from a small kitchen by a bar with a few stools. The room itself had a large gray sofa, with two armchairs on either side and a Coffee table in front of it. On the other side was a gray loveseat, and a set of identical armchairs.

Naruto moved to the twin armchairs, sitting in the one that was between it's twin and the loveseat and set Whedabra against the side of the chair. Kiba took the chair to the right of the sofa while Hinata and Kurenai sat on opposite ends of the large sofa.

"Ask any question and I shall answer to the best of my abilities. However, I will answer any question truthfully, so do not ask questions you don't want to know the answer to.", he said, attempting a jovial and joking tone to lighten up the tense atmosphere. Kiba took it for what it was worth and smiled, Hinata knew what he meant, but smiled nonetheless, and Kurenai kept her slightly pissed expression.

"Let's start with why you thought it was okay to engage a camp of fifty bandits.", she said. Naruto nodded and took out a cigarette, lighting it before starting.

"I've taken out camps of a hundred and fifty of the scum, solo, before then. It seemed logical that with three other people, fifty would be a piece of cake.", he said, completely straight faced. Kurenai didn't seem pleased.

"Naruto-san, I would appreciate it if you answered seriously. Quite frankly, it was by far the stupidest thing I've ever seen."

"I answered completely seriously.", Naruto replied, taking a drag and letting the smoke escape from between his teeth before continuing. "Next question."

"Why shouldn't I write you up for insubordination, or something of the like?", Kurenai countered.

"Maybe because I outrank you? Special Jounins are above normal jounins, and though Anbu is a separate ranking system, and Anbu captain has superiority to a Jounin.", he said, eyes narrowing. Couldn't she give a little leap of faith here?

"Wha-"

"My Name is Naruto Hellsing Namikaze, Anbu captain and Special Jounin Rank. My alias is Nosferatu the Damned, Konaha's chief assassin.", he said, voice leaving no room for contestation. "I am on a mission from Tsunade herself to prevent Sasuke Uchiha from being tempted into Orochimaru's grasp and to provide protection for Hinata. As she can tell you, I failed miserably at the latter.", he finished angrily, shadows writhing around him

"Calm Down Naruto.", Whedabra's voice called from her sword. The sword lifted itself from it's sheath a little, letting a miasma of darkness flow out, covering the blade and rising up. Then it seemed to fall back to the ground, leaving Whedabra standing beside her wielder... naked as usual.

"Great. Nothing like a sword turning into a naked loli to really clear up a situation.", Naruto groaned, getting up and walking to the kitchen. Whedabra turned to the other three, scratching the back of her head sheepishly.

"You'll have to forgive him; he hasn't eaten in a while and he's a little cranky.", Whedabra explained cutely, forgetting that these people were used to seeing a naked Nine-year old.

"Wait... You're the girl from my dreams!", Hinata said, recognizing the little loli. Kiba looked over to her with a raised brow.

"You dream about naked little girls?", he asked, getting a pillow from the couch thrown at him.

"No! I mean I've been having some weird dreams lately, and she's been in all of them!", she explained, feeling a little uncomfortable with the looks she was getting from both Kiba and Kurenai.

"_She_ has a name you know...", Whedabra sweatdropped. Why did people always act like this? "I'm Whedabra. Naruto's Katana and Future Lover!", she added the last part a little too happily.

"Not for at least three centuries, you Ero-loli.", Naruto called from the Kitchen, looking through the fridge for some AB+... or some O.

"Oh come on! It's not like it's torture! The others love all the sex we have!"

"O-others?", Kurenai asked, eye twitching. She had, needless to say, misinterpreted the whole situation. Whedabra caught on and raised her hands in a placating gesture.

"Look, I'm just as complicated as Naruto is. Let's all just sit down and talk about this calmly, Alright?"

She had to use the cute looks to get them to at least agree to be quiet until Naruto returned. About a minute later, he did come back in... with five blood packs. He threw one to Hinata.

"Drink up.", he muttered, setting the other packs on the table. He sighed and put his cigarette out. "Look, everything I tell you is going to require a leap of faith, and a fair bit of open mindedness.", he explained, biting off the tip of a blood pack and spitting it into the trash. "First on the list, sorry for snapping. Second, Sorry if this scares you.", he said, a cheerful smile as he put the hole between his lips and turned his head back, letting the blood drain down his throat.

Kurenai paled at the act while Kiba turn slightly green. Hinata, however, felt her own thirst as Naruto drank. She looked to the bag in her hand and sighed, biting off the tip, though she plucked it from her mouth. Kurenai caught the motion as she turned the bag upside down, and looked over in time for her to see Hinata, innocent Hinata, drinking blood.

"Male, deflowered, Age 23, Type AB+. Balanced Diet.", Naruto said, just loud enough for them to hear after taking the pack from his lips. He waited for Hinata to finish before he continued, though the draculina was blushing from embarassment from having drank in front of her friends. "Now then, to put it simply, I'm a vampire. I drink the blood of humans to sustain myself, and should I drink directly from a virgin, I can turn them into a vampire. As you can see, I had to do so to save Hinata's life... technically."

"What do you mean, technically?", Hinata asked, still blushing. Naruto chuckled, scratching the back of his head.

"...Well, you're dead... Undead technically. Ever wonder why you didn't get hooked up to an EKG or anything?", he replied. "I know this sounds horrible, and hard to believe, but it's true. Mind you, There are only three vampires in existence; Myself, Hinata and... someone else, who won't be mentioned.", he said, trailing off with a fair amount of sadness.

Kiba inhaled and rubbed his temples, utterly confused.

"Okay, so you're both technically dead, and you're actually a special jounin ranked Anbu captain who is also Konaha's most feared and famous assassin. Did I miss anything?", He asked, defeated look on his face. In all honesty, he figured if he meant them any harm, he would have killed them by now.

"Well, I'm actually twenty years old, but that wasn't stated.", Naruto replied, lighting another cigarette. "Once again Kurenai-chan, I'm sorry for snapping. I hadn't fed in about twenty four hours, and a lot has happened recently."

"It's...alright. I think.", she said, actually sort of humbled. "But would you mind explaining the naked girl standing beside you? Speaking of which, could you put some clothes on?"

"My Name is Whedabra, and I refuse to cover my beautiful body with clothes.", she replied, crossing her arms over her A-Cup.

"Whedabra is... unique in many ways. She is a sentient sword for one, and actually helped me find her when I was ten. The reason she appears... the way she does...", he began, choosing his words carefully, "Is because she believes that there is a time right before physical maturation occurs where, and this is a short summary of a long rant, 'innocence blurs the lines of Good and Evil'. Thus, she takes on that form."

"And the "Others" she mentioned?", Kurenai asked, trying to take this as calmly as possible.

"I'm 4568 years young, and I've had many wielders over the years. However, when one of them impresses me with their heart or soul, I offer them a sort of escape from death. When they die, in place of death getting their souls, I keep them. Their physical bodies still die of course, so I give them bodies that are perfect, like mine.", she explained.

"She means chibi versions of themselves, basically.", Naruto quickly added

"Right. Now then, since they come from bloody times usually, I offer them a simpler existence. There are no "Hidden Motives" or "Enemies" with me; there is only what makes you happy, and what doesn't. I give them love and sex, food and wine; whatever they want to keep them happy and comfortable. I conform to their sexual desires as much as they to mine. Only nine are with me right now, But Naruto was the second fastest to secure a spot with us, and the only male to do so. I've even got a body made for his soul when he dies!"

"Do you see what I have to put up with?", Naruto sighed, getting a whack on the arm from Whedabra.

"You didn't seem to mind walking in on Taraka and me a while ago. You stood there for quite a while.", She smirked triumphantly.

"When a person sees something that registers as wrong or twisted, they tend to freeze up. I wasn't watching, I was freaked out.", Naruto groaned, looking over to his team. "Do you people know what a mindscape is?"

"Yes, it's the way a persons mind appears. Generally it's only seen by the person the mind belongs to. Why?", Kurenai answered, eyebrow raised. To use Genjutsu, you occasionally had to use a person's mindscape against them, and you had to keep your own guarded.

"Mine is a big white castle. It's not even a remotely sacred space; I've got the Kyuubi brooding and throwing fit in the dungeon, Alucard brooding in his room down there too, and I've got this little pervert always having sex with her lovers, or her lovers are fucking amongst themselves. Do you know how fucked up it is to walk into a room, a room that was supposed to be for quiet meditation, and see two lolis fucking each other. Not to mention Taraka's little addition.", he muttered, rubbing his temples.

"Naruto, I don't think I really want to know, but what are you talking about?", Kiba asked. This was beyond freaky.

"Taraka is a futa; she has a vagina and a penis, and a eight inch one, I might add. She's pretty nervous about it too; it took us a whole century to get her to use it, but damn she can use it!"

"Let me get this straight...", Kurenai asked, rubbing her own temples. "You a vampire, an Anbu captain of Special Jounin rank, a master assassin, you've been posing as a genin under orders, you have the Kyuubi sealed into you, someone I've never heard of sealed as well, and you've got a horny loli whose into pedophilia and futanari for a sword?"

Whedabra and Naruto looked at each other for a moment before looking back.

"Yep. That's it in a nutshell.", Naruto admitted, though he doubted that Whedabra would let it rest.

"Technically since we're all over the legal age limit, and since we all look young, it's not really pedophilia. However... Futanari, BDSM, S&M, Bondage, Sadism, Masochism, and just about everything else: Those are my fetishes since I'll do anything to make my lovers happy... and cum. They like to cum too."

"You know, there are some words that shouldn't be said in a voice like yours.", Naruto groaned, facepalming. Whedabra shrugged.

"If you had a big problem with it, you wouldn't use me. You might not like to watch, but you don't mind that there are a bunch of lolis having hot, Kinky, lesbian sex in the corners of your mind."

"To each their own. My rules are no fucking in front of me or in the Throne room. Now then, if your done trying to make me sound like a pedo and/or done scaring my teammates, could you go off and wait out your time limit?", Naruto asked of her. There were times he loved her to death, and other times he wished he could kill her. Damn loli.

"Time limit?", Hinata asked, trying to ignore the last few minutes of conversation.

"Whedabra can manifest herself or any of her lovers in the physical world, but they have to stay for at least an hour, and are unable to return before the time is up. It's not really a time limit, given that they can stay after the hour is up, but I can't use Whedabra's sword form if she's off fucking one of her girlfriends in the real world. Speaking of which, if you summon them, go to the room you used last time; I'm not going to spend time getting the sex smell out of a new room every time you ten get horny."

"Thanks for permission!", the darkness spirit shouted, running off down the hall.

"I swear to Kami that girl is going to be the death of my... oh, that's right, I'm already dead.", Naruto muttered, draining another blood packet. "Do you see why she doesn't manifest often? People never take a vampire seriously after they find out about his sword having a Lolicon Darkness spirit.", he lamented.

"Change of subject.", Kiba suddenly said, shifting uneasily. "Uh... who is that other guy you mentioned? Al-you-card or something?"

"Alucard is the... was the No Life King. It's the title awarded to the strongest and oldest Vampire. He was the last alive... and he gave his life to save mine. So, I became the No-Life King, and he died. Most of him anyway; you see, when I drink someone's blood, I get their memories and their soul. His soul moved on, but for some reason, part of Alucard lived in his memories, so that part now spends his days brooding in the dungeon, of his own choice I might add."

"So you're the strongest vampire? What does that make Hinata, your vampire bride or something?", Kiba asked, making the heiress flush.

"No, it makes her my fledgling. As soon as she pins a human and drinks their blood directly from them, she will become a true vampire, and will no longer need to bow to any orders I give. Still, those orders are the only things besides her will that are keeping you two from being killed and drained.", Naruto said, flashing an apologetic smile to Hinata. "I see you still have the plushie. Does it help?"

"Yes, it really did... and still does. I named her Moriko.", Hinata replied, blushing slightly. She couldn't help but glance longingly to the two remaining blood packs, but she quickly diverted her eyes.

"If you're thirsty, drink. Tsunade keeps me well supplied with blood, and you are welcome to it. You may move in here if it is convenient for you. If not, I can give you your coffin to take back to the Hyuuga estate.", he said, sliding a blood pack over.

"C-coffin?", Hinata asked, not know how to respond. Naruto stood up and walked off, leaving Hinata with the blood in front of her.

The label said it was donated by a woman, and her thirst grew stronger, even though she had just drank. She restrained herself, not wanting to draw those scared looks from her friends again.

"How badly do you want it?", Kurenai asked, seeing the girl's longing looks at the bag.

"Imagine... not having drank in days, maybe weeks. Then, imagine a glass of cool water, resting on a rock in the middle of a desert. How badly would you wish to drink?", Hinata asked in return. "Naruto-kun gave me orders that prevent me from drinking from humans or harming anyone, unless it's in self defense. Right now... please don't look scared... but... I want to reach out and tear your throat out. I want to drain every drop of blood from your body.", She whispered, Will breaking as she reached out and took the packet.

Kurenai turned to give the girl a little privacy, and Kiba did the same. Luckily, a distraction came in the form of Naruto... and the Massive coffin he had over his shoulder. He set it down on it's narrow end, the weight shaking the room, and let Hinata finish so she could see his handiwork.

"A vampire must sleep in a coffin filled with the soil of their birthplace in order to keep their strength up. You can go a few nights without, but not long.", Naruto explained, opening the door to the coffin.

Hinata gawked at the massive coffin; it was just as tall as Naruto, and before he had opened it, she saw that the door was as black as the rest of it, though there was a white Cresent Moon on the lid. The interior was oddly appealing to her; purple silk and a pillow, though due to the size and breadth she could roll around and scrunch up if she wanted. It was like a bed with a lid.

"I know the size might be a little... much, but I thought you might like the room. If you wish it to be a tighter fit later in life, you can alter your physical form after you've drained a few souls from humans.", He explained. "However, I can tell that you'd like to hold off on that for a while, right?"

"Yes, please...", Hinata said, starting to look at the coffin in a new light. It did look awfully comfortable...

"Would you care to know what you're currently capable of then? Blood packs and the coffin won't make you stronger, but they'll prevent the deterioration of your powers.", He started, after a nod from the Draculina. "In short, you're faster and stronger than humans; You won't gain shadow powers until you drink from a human, but right now, a juuken strike might literally fly right through your opponent's chest.", he explained. "Come here and pick up your coffin."

"Y-you can't be serious! That thing is enormous!", she complained.

"Hinata, come here and lift your coffin. You can do it.", he said shutting the door and taking a step back. The girl sighed and walked over, looking between her coffin and her Moriko-chan.

"I... I don't wanna put Moriko down...", Hinata admitted. She knew that having one hand occupied was bad for a kunoichi, especially if it was occupied by a plushie of all things; still, she wouldn't put the wolf down.

"Then life it with one arm. Try.", Naruto said, motioning the coffin. Hinata sighed and moved closer, putting one arm around the coffin, just barely gripping the far side. "Lift."

She damn near threw it through the roof, but she quickly fixed her lifting and let the massive wood and metal box rest on her shoulder. Turning to Naruto with wide eyes, she tried to stutter out something.

"H-how c-c-can I... This i-isn't p-possible...", she said, barely feeling the coffin's weight.

"Hinata-chan, I understand your connection to Moriko.", Naruto said, motioning to the wolf. "I've become adept at removing blood from clothes, so until you learn to use the juuken one handed and avoid getting blood on her, you can bring her to me for washing.", he said, smiling.

It took Hinata a minute to get it, but she smiled and all but jumped up and down in joy; She could still be a good Kunoichi and keep Moriko with her!

"Thank you Naruto-kun!", She shouted happily.

"Fuck me Harder, Dammit!"

The four ninja looked down the hall, the voice had come from. It hadn't sounded like Whedabra...

"Excuse me...", a meek voice said, coming from a young girl who stepped from the hallway. She was only about 4'3", and her skin was fair. Her hair, which fell to the back of her knees, was a leaf green while her eyes were ice blue. Her features were soft, and her ears were pointed. She was also naked. "Sorry about that; the door opened on it's own.", she apologize, bowing.

"It's alright Tahlianna. Just go make sure it's shut, lest Rinnia grace us with her voice once more.", Naruto said, tone soft. The elf-girl blushed, but smiled.

"Alright. Good Night to you and...", she blushed when she realized there were other people in the room. "S-sorry!", she stuttered, running off.

"Tahlianna is... very self-conscious around strangers.", Naruto remarked. "Still, a very sweet girl."

"And you know this how?", Kurenai asked, eyebrow raised.

"In my mindscape, since I don't dream when I sleep, I often find myself dodging their sex games. But, whether it's in my mindscape or here in our world, Tahlianna will always wake up before her lovers and bring them breakfast. She's also the one who got the rest of them to help me clean up the rooms they "use" them.", he said, shrugging.

"Seems like it's a little more love than sex when you really look into.", Kiba remarked, blinking. Naruto laughed, throwing his head back like it was the funniest joke in the world.

"You don't know them like I do. The line blurs so much it's difficult to tell the difference between love and sex, which is exactly what Whedabra wants I suppose, but it's equal parts of both. Considering how much sex that there is, there's a lot of love too.", he explained, tone softening. "They are nice once you get to know them, but there isn't a day that goes by that I don't thank Whedabra for making them that young. No periods, no random mood swings, no raging hormones; It's as peaceful as my mind could be considering the circum-"

"I'm Fucking Cumming!"

"Stances.", Naruto finished, facepalming.

"Sorry!", Tahlianna called from the hall, not coming out.

"You know, I was going to give you hell for having a sword like that... but they seem to be doing the job for me.", Kurenai said. She did have to agree with him though, there were some things that shouldn't be said in a child's voice.

As if on cue, another girl walked from the hall. She was five feet flat, and had silver hair that fell to her collar bone and framed her face. Her skin was slightly tanned and her eyes were a piercing yellow. A pair of wolf ears came from her head and a wolf tail sprouted just above her ass. She was nude, save for the black leather collar around her neck.

"Naru, do you have any condoms?", she asked, hands on her hips. Kurenai facepalmed, adding another word to the list.

"I thought Takara didn't produce sper-"

"She doesn't."

"Then why do you-"

"Don't ask. I'll help clean it up, but it's our way of marking that room as our "Sex Room".", she said, looking over at the three other ninja and waving her fingers at them with a smile.

"...My room, top drawer of the coffin-side table. I'll never be able to get the stains out, will I?", he asked, having a faint idea of what they were going to do.

"No chance in hell.", she replied, skipping off to the basement door.

"Alright, let's go before this starts.", Naruto said, walking towards the door that lead outside. Hinata followed a small distance behind, having to carefully navigate the coffin through, and the other two followed close behind, shutting the door behind.

"You have to put up with that everyday?", Kurenai asked, suddenly pitying the vampire.

"They were modest today; First time I let them out in the real world was when I was twelve, and an hour later, Luciana, the werewolf you just saw, walked up to me covered in female cum... and whatever Takara shoots from her dick, as it's apparently not semen... and asked me where the bathroom was. Not quite the freakiest thing I've seen them do, but it's high up there.", He said, leaning against a tree and lighting up another cigarette. "And I have a feeling they're about to have the most fucked up waterballoon fight in history."

"What makes you think that?", Kiba asked, getting a groan.

"Whedabra has explained her lovers in great detail. Trust me, it's going to be disturbing.", Naruto warned.

"What's the worst that could happen?", Kiba replied, blissfully ignorant.

"...Takara has both the male ability of ejaculation and the female ability for multiple orgasms. They're going to slip a condom on her, fill it, and repeat the process until they're out of condoms. Then they'll have a very... _very_ fucked up water-balloon fight, if it can be called that.", He explained, watching Kiba pale a little. Hell, all of them looked a little disturbed.

"Now then, in order to escape the rampaging lolicons, let's go get some dinner; I'm sure some food will help bury this memory so deep that none of us will remember it... until they materialize again.", He groaned, leading his team out of the estate. He just wanted a drink; an alcoholic one. Or maybe just an alcoholic.

* * *

And there's the end of chapter 6. I think I got a little carried away with Whedabra and her lovers, but they're pretty damn eccentric... and horny. Very very horny. But there's a lot of love there too. I think I tried to show that, but got caught up in the opportunity to screw with Naruto's team. Naruto is used to it by now.

Alright, just to throw this out there, his team isn't necessarily comfortable with him; Hinata, being a vampire and taking it very well, is the only one who doesn't really look at him differently. Kiba will look at him differently because of his killing ability, while Kurenai will feel uneasy because of his rank and reputation.

As for Akemi and Hikari, they aren't done yet. Actually, they both end up with... well, the technical term is "supporting Characters" since I don't want to give too much away. As For Hikari's mental state... she gets better. Come on people, I'm not going to make someone fuck a vegetable. As for Akemi, it's pretty damn obvious what's going to happen. Let's see how Sasuke reacts.

Remember, Kyuubi won the poll and it's now closed. If you want the exact numbers for the poll, Here they are:

Kyuubi: 57

Konan: 42

Tayuya: 31

Alright, review if you dare. Please don't Bitch about Whedabra and her lovers; The sex is implied, and I'll give you people fair warning if I ever do a lemon for them. A warning for anyone else Having sex?... no. Just Whedabra, Tahlianna, Rinnia, Takara, Sara, Luciana, Isk, Brenda, Valanthe, and Cappelteta. Yeah, I just listed 'em off, what now? Lol

Ja Ne, My Pervy/Freaky Darlings!


	8. Mission Preperation Kinda

Good Evening, My most Freaky of Darlings!

Quick question, how many of you were uncomfortable the first time I said that? The Freaky Darling bit? Oh well, no use crying over mental scars :) (P.S: if you actually got scarred by that... you have issues)

I've decided that the "Line" that you're not supposed to cross...has been crossed. Yeah it's about sixteen feet behind me at this point. One less thing to worry about XD

Here's chapter Seven... I think. I've lost count again!

Whedabra: It's chapter 7 in terms of the story itself. It's chapter 8 in total.

Hector: Oh, Thank you Whedabra.

Whedabra: Can I have that orgy scene we were talking about? The one where *CENSORE lasting Four hours* hanging from a ceiling fan. Well?

Hector:... I've got a poll for this. Are you happy? It might end up being a little side story/Omake/crack mini-fic to go along with this one, or it might just be a deeper look into your lovers' lives. It'll only be a chapter long if I do it.

Whedabra: Okay. Vote damn it, or I'll cut your fucking heads off!(Smiles cutely while holding her sword form)

Hector:(Shaking his head)Once more, some things are just not meant to come from a child's mouth.

I do not own Naruto or Hellsing.

* * *

Hiashi sighed and set the final piece of paperwork into the 'done' pile, glad to have finished the day's paperwork earlier then usual.

"Noon already? Maybe I wasn't working as quickly as I thought...", he muttered, looking at the clock on the wall. He stood up and walked out of his "Office", wondering how many clan heads had called it theirs before him. Shaking his head to free it of such thoughts, he walked down the hall towards the dining room that was reserved for the Clan Head's family. Perhaps the Hyuuga clan was a little too formal at times, but even the branch house had a fair deal of luxury when you overlooked the overzealous use of the Caged Bird seal.

"Good Morning Father.", Hanabi greeted, eating her lunch at the table. The room was decorated a little too much for Hiashi's liking, but the one table that was large enough for about ten people, which had numerous types of food on it, was the only piece of furniture beyond the chairs. Everything else was "Just for show", which might have been what bothered him; pretty things were nice, but everything should have a use.

"Good Morning Hanabi-chan.", Replied, sitting at the head of the table. "Where is your sister?", he asked, looking at the other empty seats. She had returned a few days ago, and surprisingly few people were aware of her "curse". In all truth, Hiashi didn't care, and it had actually made Hinata's life a little easier: the Hyuuga council, neither wanting a vampire as the heir nor wanting to offend Hiashi, had asked if they could name Hanabi as the heir, given her talent. Hinata and Haishi had agreed, and Hiashi had been able to let up on his harshness during training.

"I believe Hinata-sama is still asleep.", a maid said, walking in from the kitchen. She set down a pitcher of juice on the table along with a few apples, before nervously bowing. She hadn't been asked directly.

"...Hanabi, would you go wake your sister up? I understand she's tired, but noon is far to late.", he said, knowing that Hanabi needed to find out about her sister before someone told her. He was actually surprised that she hadn't seen her sister's coffin yet, given how often she visited her older sister.

"Hai.", she replied, getting up and walking off.

Hanabi didn't know why her sister had been sleeping in lately; normally Hinata woke _her_ up. Perhaps she hadn't quite recovered from whatever had happened on her C-Rank to make her stay in the hospital for a week; She didn't know because no one had told her anything.

She had chosen to give her sister some room, not knowing what was going on; part of her wondered if it was just part of being 16, and if she would go through the same thing in six years.

"Hinata... it's Hanabi. Tou-san wants you to wake up... Hinata?", she asked, knocking on the door. She didn't hear anything on the other side that sounded like someone getting out of bed, so she opened the door and froze.

There was a massive coffin where the bed was supposed to bed, scaring Hanabi. She nervously inched her way over and tapped on the lid, jumping back when she heard a groan from the inside.

The lid creaked open, coming to rest on the rug next to the coffin with a muffled thump. Hanabi watched in slight terror as her sister sat up from inside the coffin, eyes glowing a light red for a few moments.

"It's morning already?", Hinata asked, oblivious to her sister shaking a few feet away. She stretched her arms, holding Moriko in her left hand while doing so, and yawned; Hanabi got a good look at her two elongated upper canines. When Hinata was done, she looked over and realized Hanabi was standing there, shaking. "Good morning Hanabi...what's wrong?"

Hinata took a bit of her tangled hair between her fingers and motioned to it with her now amethyst eyes.

"Is my bed-head _that_ bad?", she asked, realizing her sister didn't know she was a vampire a moment later. She sighed and smiled. "Hanabi, thank you for waking me up. Can you leave so I can get dressed?"

Hanabi nodded and backed out of the room, making sure the door shut. Hinata could hear her footsteps quickening once she was a few feet away.

"The council leaves me alone and my sister becomes terrified of me.", she sighed, getting out of her coffin; she had to admit, it was very comfortable.

She locked the door, just in case someone came to check on her and caught her changing. The mirror in her room, a large oval that allowed Hinata to see her whole body, only showed a door locking itself. Naruto had warned her about that; She'd need to concentrate and fill her body with chakra to see a reflection.

It appeared and she half-way smiled; vampirism looked good on her. She, preferring lighter colors, couldn't pull it off like Naruto could, but after three days of having her own clothes back, she had started her own little style.

She took off the red nightgown she wore, slightly entranced by her own body in the mirror. She had, of course, seen herself naked before, but now she was incredibly sexy even in her own modest eyes. Her lithe form had been removed of any remaining fat, leaving her just thin enough to be sexy, but still have that healthy look. She had to admit that her hips had widened a little, and her figure was close to an hourglass.

She turned sideways and sighed; her breasts, while she did like them, had always been just a little in the way during juuken training. Now, on the verge of going from D-cup to DD, she knew they were going to get in the way at least once. After she finished admiring the changes for the third day in a row, she admitted to herself that she loved the new body.

"If it wasn't a reflection, I'd do her.", she said to herself, slapping her hand over her mouth with wide eyes and a blush. Had she really just... said that? Out loud?

She quickly dressed in her usual clothing, though her jacket's white areas had been dyed gray. She paused for a moment and looked back at the mirror and her blushing reflection. She didn't know which she was more embarrassed about, the fact that she had been aroused by a female body(Her own to top it off), or the fact she admitted to wanting sexual intercourse with her reflection.

She stepped out of her room, shutting the door behind her and trying to clear her mind of such thoughts; at the same time though, she couldn't help but look at one of the maids as she walked away, eyes locked on her ass. Hinata stepped back into her room for a moment and shut the door, facepalming in private.

She looked back at her reflection and realized she hadn't brushed her hair. Deciding that task might take her mind off of her recent thoughts, she grabbed her brushed and focused on untangling and smoothing out her hair.

"I just woke up; my mind is just a little muddled.", she said, trying to convince herself. Still, that maid had a nice- "Bad thoughts, bad thoughts."

She paused and looked at her reflection in slight confusion. She knew that her hair had grown several inches due to the curse for some reason, but she couldn't tell what was with the one lock of hair she was staring at. She brushed it down, only for it to pop back out, curl and all.

"You're hair reminds me of someone from Alucard's memories."

Hinata jumped and whirled around, armed with a hair brush and a wolf plushie. She sighed, but took on an annoyed expression when she saw it was her master, sitting on her now closed coffin.

"You're supposed to ask permission before going into a girl's room.", she scolded. Master to her and higher ranked he may have been, but Naruto was still her friend and she was thus allowed to be annoyed at him.

"I waited until you had left and returned; you wouldn't have walked out naked.", he defended, putting his right leg over his left knee.

"So how long have you been here?", she asked, unconsciously covering her chest.

"Whedabra used our connection to tell me when you were dressed. I came after you stepped in.", he said, hands up in a placating gesture. "Oh, and she agrees by the way; the maid did have a nice ass."

Hinata turned five shades of red at the comment, and tried to sputter out a response.

"Isn't that incest though?",he pondered aloud, making the girl's blush deepen.

"_Actually, it's not as long as she doesn't have sex with her or masturbate to the thought of her ass or body."_, Whedabra said in both of their minds. Hinata had a little trouble hearing the spirit, since her connection was to Naruto, but she still heard her. Hinata sputtered, looking almost terrified.

"We're just kidding around Hinata; if you prefer women, it's your choice and there's nothing wrong with it.", he said, calming her down a little. She groaned and went back to trying to brush down the one bit of hair that stuck out with a spiral curl. It looked a little silly. (Guess who's hair she has. Here's a hint: Tinker,tanker,soldier,sailor; my bullet punishes without distinction.)

"It's just a little confusing. I'm still the daughter of a Clan head; I can't think like that.", she said, watching the curl spring up again.

"You're sixteen; experiment. No one is really sure about their sexuality at that age, and if you go ahead and experiment a little, it'll make those unavoidable awkward moments a little easier to accept.", he warned.

"Do...what?", she asked, turning around with a blush.

"I mean, for instance, say that you never kiss a girl, whether you want to or not. Then, after completing a mission for her, a woman gives you a kiss on the lips as a reward and tries to slip you the tongue. You'll either freak out or freeze.", he explained. "If you kissed one now, I doubt you would respond as poorly, even if you don't like it."

"And I suppose you're telling me this out of experience?", she jabbed; she highly doubted he had ever had an experience like that.

"Technically he kissed me.", he responded unexpectedly, "But yes. I didn't like it, and would step away if it were to happen, but if a patron ever tries to kiss me, he'll at least keep his head. Maybe not his arms, but his head."

Hinata blushed, wondering who had the balls(Or the height for that matter) to try and kiss the No-life King.

"I've rambled on long enough; Kurenai-sensei wants us to meet at the Mission Room. We're trying another C-Rank.", he said, standing up and giving one of his bows. "I shall attempt to restrain myself this time."

"Naruto-kun, this wasn't-"

"Yes, it was. Kurenai wants you at the mission room in an hour; drink and limber up. Leave the hair alone, you're not going to get it to stay down.", he said, cutting her off. "Some vampires simply have... unique hair."

He turned and let via the shadows, leaving the heiress alone.

She really didn't blame him for her curse, or the happenings of the mission. He seemed to want all of the blame though, despite Hinata's efforts. In all truth, the mission _had_ resulted in her fear of male contact along with the curse, though she doubted the first bothered him as much as the second.

She hadn't been able to find out who else he had turned or the name of his lover, despite asking Whedabra in her dreams, which seemed to be taking place in Whedabra's town. She had stayed out of Naruto's castle out of respect, and tried to stay out of the way on the two occasions in the last seventy-two hours that Whedabra's lovers came out to play a few "games". She had seen the normally naked Darkness spirit herself last night, wearing a school girl outfit and getting her pussy licked by Luciana in a secluded part of the park.

Hinata groaned at the slight feeling of warmth building in her at that thought. She supposed that Naruto's words had some merit, but what was she supposed to do? It's not like she had ever asked anyone out, let alone asked a girl out.

"Screw it.", she said, giving up on the one curl. It came from the top of her head and stuck out a little forward and to the right, spiral curling after a few inches of being straight. It looked silly to her.

She walked out of her room and down the hall, ignoring where her thoughts were trying to go. She stepped into the dining room and sat down, ignoring her sister's muffled laughter; apparently, she had gotten over her fear in favor of laughing at her hair.

"You seem to have forgotten to brush your hair Hinata.", Hiashi remarked, getting a withering glare in response.

"I tried, it didn't work.", she growled out. When the servant came back out of the kitchen, Hinata sighed. "Please bring me the blood.", she asked. Naruto had warned her that it might be months before Human food became edible again; attempting to eat before that would only result in throwing it right back up.

"H-hai.", the girl replied, hurrying back into the kitchen. Hanabi wasn't laughing anymore.

"Blood? W-what are you talking about?", Hanabi asked as the servant came back in with two blood packs. She set them down in front of Hinata and left.

"Blood is all that I can drink now. I'm a vampire, thanks to Naruto-kun.", she said calmly, tearing off the tip of the small tube and bringing it to her mouth. She hadn't thought of a good way to explain her curse to anyone yet, so she just went for telling them she was a vampire and drinking blood in front of them; they'd take it however they wanted to.

Hanabi was petrified as the blood disappeared from the packet, realizing that this was no joke as Hinata quietly drank the blood. Hiashi was silent, though he had his eyes closed; the sight still bothered him.

Hinata finished her first packet and rolled it up, setting it on the plate that had been left for her. She reached for the other packet, but saw her sister's expression as she picked it up. Sighing, she put in her jacket pocket and stood up.

"I need to go. Good Day Tou-san, Hanabi-chan.",she said, walking out. That could have gone better.

(Main Street.)

"Check out the ass on that one!", Kiba whispered, pointing over towards the woman. He sat on a bench next to Naruto with Akamaru laying on the ground next to him.

"You know, I find this act rather demeaning of the opposite sex. Really.", Naruto argued, facepalming.

Hinata walked up to the pair, hood of her jacket up and Moriko under her left arm. She had a happy expression on, but Naruto saw some of the inner confusion.

"Evening Hinata-chan. I trust you slept well?", Naruto greeted. Hinata sat down at the edge of the bench, beside Naruto while still keeping a foot or so in between them.

"Well enough I suppose; Whedabra saw fit to get some action in the woods, which is the only place I thought I could avoid their escapades.", she sighed. "How much longer till we go get the mission?"

"A half hour or so. Kiba seems content to sit here for that duration and stare at women.", he said, whacking the Inuzuka upside the head.

"Oh come on! It's not that b-...damn, check that chick out!", he stated, pointing to a woman in tight jeans and a green shirt. Naruto facepalmed but Hinata fought with the urge to look, and Naruto saw the struggle from between his pinky and ring finger.

"Go ahead and look Hinata-chan; Kami knows that Kiba's a good Wingman if nothing else.", he joked, getting a growl and a punch in the shoulder from the Inuzuka. Then the feral teen realized what he said, and leaned forward to look at the blushing heiress.

"You like girls, Hinata-chan?", he asked, a little surprised. Then again, he wasn't too dense; She was almost raped by a guy, so it was pretty damn unlikely her current sexual interests would lie upon the opposite sex.

"I...I-I Uh...Um...", she sputtered, unable to find words. Kiba just smirked and gave a thumbs up.

"So what are you looking for: Large breasts, Small breasts, a petite figure, some junk in the trunk, legs that go all the way up? Talk to me Hinata, I'll point 'em out!", he declared, perhaps a little over zealously.

"K-kiba-kun? You're... helping?", she asked, surprised by his reaction. Kiba chuckled and scratched the back of his head.

"Hehe... well, Me and Naruto here made a promise to scare the hell out of any guy you dated, and kill him if he ever slept with you; not that you come off as easy or anything.", he added quickly, "But if you're into chicks, that means I don't have to worry about them finding the body. Besides, like Naruto said, I'm a good wingman."

"I can summon Hellhounds from my body, provided it's night and the moon isn't full; They would devour the body, so you don't have to worry about that.", Naruto said, calmly enough to scare the two. "I'm also good at making it seem like an accident."

Kiba and Hinata scooted away from the vampire as he listed off the ways he could kill someone, leaning forward to talk without interrupting him.

"So, have you given this any thought or do you want me to just point out the ones that I find interesting?", he asked, ignoring Naruto's mini-rant about how to kill someone with a head of lettuce.

"I...", Hinata started, not believing she was even having this conversation. "I don't know..."

"I go for medium breasts, a lean figure and a tight looking ass, then I go from there on the individual basis for hair color, height, ect ect.", he said, listing off his system.

"You know, If you're curious about how to have sex with another woman, and I can't believe I'm saying this...", Naruto said, snapping out of his rant, "Whedabra could teach you a lot. She can turn into an older version of herself if you're not comfortable screwing a loli."

"Say what?", Hinata asked, blushing. "Um... m-maybe later...?", she chuckled nervously.

"Hinata-chan, in all honesty, and I swear to Kami I will kill you both if you tell anyone about what I'm about to say, Whedabra is the one who taught _me_ how to have sex. Mind you, I was just a few days short of twelve at the time, and in Anbu, so I was freaking out about the life style. Whedabra summons herself and two hours later, we're lying on a bed. She's smoking a cigarette while I was laying there with a blank look on my face.", He admitted, shifting. "Though... she's been bothering me for round two for the past eight years. It wouldn't bother me if she maybe made herself a little older, but when a girl has to stand on her girlfriend's shoulder's to give you a "Surprise" kiss, there's a line that needs to be drawn."

Hinata facepalmed, not knowing what to do; Before she knew about his vampirism and Whedabra, Naruto was like the strong, not-so-silent type, a Dark Badass. Now she knew he was just a messed up vampire with a pedo-sword. You should never get to know those you admire.

"So let me get this straight; you lost your virginity to a sword that took the form of a nine year old, and you've been kissed by a guy. Should we be writing this down for obscure reference later?", Hinata asked, mock-glaring at the nosferatu.

"I swear to kami she looked eleven."

"Baka.", Hinata swore, whacking him upside the head.

"Who had the balls and the ladder required to try and kiss you?", Kiba asked, slightly freaked out by the thought. He had to admit, he was a little homophobic.

"That crazy little sonuvabitch U-", He started, interrupted by Kurenai shunshining in front of them. "Never mind. Hello, welcome to Psychos R' Us, how may we help you?", he deadpanned, looking at Kurenai. She whacked him upside the head and shook her head.

"I don't understand how someone like you can be so joking.", she complained.

"Easy; if I wasn't, you'd all be dead, and I've really come to like you guys... girls...whatever.", he said, giving up at the end. "Everyone copes their own way; I smoke and make a giant, Nine-tailed fox uncomfortable. I also do stand-up comedy, but I don't do kid's parties.", he said, standing up and giving a bow.

"Of all the assassins, I get the crazy vampire.", she muttered, facepalming.

"And of all the fledgling vampires, you got the one that's staring at your ass.", he said happily, pointing down at Hinata. Kurenai looked over and blushed, seeing that Hinata's gaze was indeed on her ass. "It could be worse... and it is! We have the Inuzuka heir as well, who's teaching Hinata the fine art of looking at beautiful women... she seems to prefer the zoned-out stare approach, but we should commend him for trying!", he said, patting the Inuzuka on the back while Hinata realized what they were saying and quickly diverted her gaze.

Kurenai, for the life of her, couldn't believe her luck; To hell with what others thought, _she _had the fucked up team. At least she didn't have to worry about the stupid "schoolboy crush" thing from Kiba... she had to worry about Hinata staring at her ass.

"Can we just go and get the mission before I hurt one of you?", Kurenai asked, covering her eyes with her hand, shaking her head.

"Sure, I'm feeling great right now; what about you two?", Naruto asked, turning around to his teammates. "Great, let's go!", he said cheerfully before they could answer.

"I swear to kami... after I make chunin... I'm going to go to a vampire horror movie, and laugh my ass off at how wrong they got it.", Kiba groaned, standing up and walking towards the vampire. Hinata stood up and looked embarrassed for a moment.

"Sorry for staring, Kurenai-sensei.", she muttered, giving a small bow before running off after her teammates. Kurenai sighed and went after them.

The walk was sort of awkward, but Kurenai couldn't figure out why; Kiba and Akamaru were getting a little tense as they neared, that was expected, and Hinata did much the same while occasionally glancing at some of the women they passed, blushing all the while. Given their first C-rank, this was expected, even Hinata's sudden attraction to females; What Kurenai was having trouble with was Naruto's reaction.

Each step seemed to rob him of some of his cheerfulness, and something seemed to completely shift about him as they walked. His entire form seemed tense and ready to spring at a moments notice, taking notice of every little movement around him.

Like he was calculating how to kill everyone, and would enact his plans at any given moment.

When they walked into the mission room, he suddenly became the Naruto they knew again, and it was a relief of the highest caliber. They were slightly surprised though, to see the former Hokage sitting in the chair.

"Good Evening, Sarutobi-jiji. How does this day find you?", Naruto asked, stepping forward. The old man chuckled and bowed his head a little.

"Well enough; I'm old and fading, so I could be better. You have no idea how much I long for that eternal youth of yours some days.", he replied as the rest of the team walked up. Naruto shook his head.

"Within Age lies beauty and wisdom; I am jealous that your body can show it.", Naruto replied, tucking some of his silver hair behind his ear.

"Good Afternoon to you as well, Kurenai-san, Hinata-san, and you as well Kiba-san.", he said, nodding to each. He and Naruto had been down this road before; no need to walk it again, and Naruto seemed to agree. "I take it you're here for a mission?"

"Yes, Sarutobi-sama.", Kurenai replied, bowing. The old man chuckled and shook his head.

"No need to be so stiff and formal.", he said, opening the C-rank drawer and looking through it. "I heard about what happened during your last C-rank, so I was saving this one in case you came in this week.", he explained, pulling out a scroll.

"Dare I ask?", Naruto asked, arms folded.

"We have a merchant whose base of operations is a town about a day-and-a-half's journey from Konaha's south gate. He supplies us with some special fabrics and a few rare herbs for our shops; Nothing that would put him in the spotlight for an assassin looking to cripple Konaha, but He's paranoid. Every time he makes the trip here or back, he requests two teams be sent.", Sarutobi explained, letting them unroll the scroll and look at the details.

"Seems a bit unreasonable; bandit activity is low in that area, and two teams is a bit excessive.", Hinata remarked. "The other team could be doing something productive while one takes the merchant back."

"Oh...that's why he's paranoid.", Naruto said, looking at the picture of the man. He was a little chubby, was bald, and had a scruffy beard. Green eyes looked out from a slightly wrinkled face. "You, Sarutobi, have a sick sense of humor."

"What's wrong?", Kiba asked, not getting it.

"Midari Mahiru. His wife ran a small drug ring, smuggling the shit in with his caravan. That wasn't too much of a problem, cause adults don't suffer from any side effects or addictions... oh but then the fun started. You see, a couple council members found their children dead, or close to it, with the green powder on the table in front of them; turns out it's _very_ harmful for children. So, they hired me to... _fix_ the problem.", Naruto recalled, a little too fondly for Kurenai's tastes. "Still, Midari didn't know about the drugs, and responded poorly when he saw his wife dead, and my mask sinking into the shadows. He, thinking that his wife never did anything wrong and that he didn't either, thinks he is next. So the teams aren't for bandits, they're for me. Or Nosferatu the Damned, I should say."

"Wait a minute... Naruto killed his wife, and you want us to protect him?", Hinata asked, look of disbelief on her face.

"He doesn't know it was me, as all he saw was my mask; since Midari doesn't know anything about me specifically, this is Sarutobi's sick sense of humor. I'm "Redeeming" myself.", Naruto explained, sneering at the word. "Dare I ask of the other team?"

"Naruto, show some respect!", Kurenai scolded, whacking the vampire on the shoulder.

"It's quite alright; Naruto has always seen me as a grandfather, and one wouldn't show respect to a grandfather the way one would to a former hokage. As for your question, Naruto, I would recommend Team 7. I understand the you recently helped Sasuke with some social issues, despite the results, and your past with Kakashi may prove vital should you lose yourself again.", Sarutobi explained, not one hint of blame or anger in his voice. "Is this acceptable? The combat chances are low, of course, and the pay is decent."

"Three days, maybe four. I swear, you people are trying to get killed.", Naruto muttered, too low for any to hear. He put on a smile and nodded. "Sounds good to me."

"Akamaru and I are game."

"I'm ready."

Hinata seemed to pause for a moment, unsure. She bit her lip, but nodded.

"Very well. I'll have Team 7 informed and Waiting for you at the South Gate with the merchant in... two hours.", Sarutobi said, filling out the paperwork with a practiced hand. Kurenai bowed and took the scroll, taking her team out of the room.

"Tsunade is probably out drinking... or she's got a hangover.", Naruto thought aloud. "Right...well, see you in two hours."

With that, he walked into the nearest shadow, disappearing from sight. Kiba excused himself and Hinata tried to walk off.

"Hold on just a second.", Kurenai said, putting a hand on the girl's shoulder. "You and I need to have a little talk about appropriate conduct."

Needless to say, Hinata was slightly curious as to why she had gone from perfectly straight to being as straight as a bent kunai. At the same time though, her gaze kept drifting to her sensei's chest, much to her embarrassment. Still... those were nice...

(With Naruto)

"_You actually think she'll come to me?"_, Whedabra asked, curious. In all truth, she was content with her lovers, and had already discussed the matter with them; they were divided. Some didn't care if it was just a one night stand, some didn't want their lover sleeping with anyone other than them.

"_She's shy about it; she might ask for tips, pointers, or maybe help in the form of words, but she'll never make it physical."_, Naruto replied, sealing blood into a scroll.

"Evening, Naruto-kun.", A slightly tired voice hailed from behind him. He turned and smiled at Hikari, who stood in blue pajamas.

"Evening Hikari. Are you feeling any better?", he asked, turning back around and sealing more blood.

"...A little. It's kinda hard to keep my promise... but it'll pass eventually.", She replied. Hikari's sister and Father, after seeing the wreck she had become after her mother had died, had made her promise not to do the same thing when they passed, no matter the circumstances. She had told Naruto a day after she arrived.

She found him to be a good host, if a little elusive, in the three days she had been here. The deaths of her family did weigh heavily on her shoulders, but Naruto had comforted her as best as he could; she appreciated the effort. It was a sort of house arrest for her, until the "Storm passed", and given that Naruto didn't seem to mind her attire, she usually just wore her pajamas all day, though she changed them daily.

"I've a mission in two hours time. It'll last about three to four days; will you be alright?", he asked. In all truth, and he kicked himself for thinking like this, Hikari was sort of like a pet to him; he provided food, drinks, shelter, and she generally listened when he asked her to do something. He knew she was intelligent, and by no means was a pet or animal, but the humor of it wasn't lost on him.

"Unless the house explodes.", she retorted, smiling softly. Naruto finished sealing up a carton of Cherry flavored cigarettes and turned, a light smirk on his face that showed one of his canines.

"Don't tempt me. I might booby trap the whole house one day, just to fuck with you.", he jokingly warned. Hikari folded her arms and cutely pouted, looking away.

"Meanie."

"At least I gave you fair warning.", he chuckled, pocketing the scroll. "I'm going to... head out for a while. If a girl with purple hair shows up, with eyes like mine, let her in and show her where the blood is. Her name is Hinata.", he explained. Without another word, he walked off into the shadows.

Hikari had seen him leave like that about once before, giving similar instructions. Where he went was a mystery to her, but she didn't mind the sudden disappearances.

As if on cue, however, a knock resounded from the front door. Hikari, for a moment, panicked, not sure of what to do if it wasn't Hinata.

She walked, calming herself, through the living room and over to the door, gripping the handle. She braced herself and opened the door just enough to poke her head out, since she was in pajamas.

Hinata was surprised by someone other than Naruto answering the door,the fact it was a stranger to her not adding any surprise. Still, this girl was too old to be one of Whedabra's lovers.

"Hello.", Hinata greeted, smiling while keep his lips together. This girl was kind of cute –she kicked herself mentally for thinking that –and she wouldn't want to scare her with fangs. "Is Naruto-kun home?"

"Are you Hinata?", Hikari asked, slightly stunned by the seemingly perfect form the girl had. She had never experimented with her sexuality, but if this was the sort of thing she could see without clothes, she wanted to know where she could sign up.

"Yes, Hinata Hyuuga; I'm one of Naruto's friends. Did he say I was coming...?"

"Oh, Hikari Sora.", Hikari replied, blushing at her rudeness. She opened the door and ushered Hinata in, shutting the door behind her. "He did say you would be coming by."

"I'm sorry if this was a bad time.", Hinata apologized, turning and seeing Hikari's pajamas. She took her hood down, letting her hair out of her hood.

Hikari was slightly enamored by the sight of the purple hair framing her face, but then she saw the one curl on top of her head. She had to cover her mouth to suppress the giggle. Hinata sighed and crossed her arms, holding Moriko against her breasts.

"Go ahead and laugh it up; I'll probably be coming here often, so you might as well get it out of your system.", Hinata sighed, distracting herself by pondering the many ways her instincts showed her how to kill the girl. She was slightly appalled and turned her attention back to the laughing girl when the same instincts told her how easy it would be to break her bones and _violate_ her before drinking.

"I'm, I'm sorry.", Hikari replied after a moment, unaware of Hinata's self-disgust. "I guess all ninja are just a little weird. Naruto-kun is a vampire, and you just have funny hair.", she concluded, giggling a little.

Hinata smiled, showing her fangs and letting her eyes glow red for a moment, the only thing she could control about her vampirism. Hikari looked dumbstruck for a moment before she took on a starstruck look.

"You're a vampire too?", she asked, hearts in her eyes. Hinata was slightly taken aback by the positive response, evident in her posture and the blush adorning her cheeks.

Hinata nodded, and the chaos ensued.

(With Naruto)

"_You know..."_, Whedabra started, looking through Naruto's eyes at the grave.

"_Don't say it. We've had this conversation before."_, Naruto asked of his blade, knowing she wouldn't drop it. He stood in the shadows where no one would see him, knowing he wasn't supposed to be here.

"_Naruto, he didn't blame you or his wife for what you two did. He understood perfectly, and forgave the both of you."_, Whedabra reminded him. _"Naruto, all jokes and lust aside, you need to move on and find someone new. You've been coming here for almost seven years."_

"_You know how I am with love; out of one hell and into another."_

"_She didn't think of it as hell. And what do you mean, "Into another"? You've only been with one...oh..."_

"_Exactly."_

There was silence for a little while; Whedabra pondered her wielder's love life, and Naruto looked at the grave, not knowing whether or not he should keeping things hidden or tell _her _the truth.

"_She's almost seven years old now; a prodigy.",_ Naruto remarked. Whedabra chuckled and nodded, knowing that Naruto felt the gesture.

"_All things considered, she's doing quite well. No mother, and a fake father."_

"_I wonder how she'd take it if I told her the truth? Given her lineage, and history's own examples, she's probably more than mature enough to understand."_

"_Wait. She has enough to cope with as it is, given her family's recent events."_

Naruto sank into the shadows and appeared by the south gate, ready to wait for his team and Team 7. He lit up a cigarette and took a drag, a sort of confused smile on his face.

"_Naruto, I'm proud of you for not comparing yourself to Alucard. You know that, right?"_, Whedabra asked, sort of touched by his concern for the girl.

"_Alucard was in the world of men, guns and swords. I'm in the world of Shinobi, Kunoichi, and jutsu. Comparing us wouldn't work under most circumstances."_, He replied. _"But yes, I know you're proud. I thank you for it as well."_

"_You know Naruto... It really is sort of inspiring to see how much you care about her, despite never seeing her, never having spoken to her, and never having heard her voice."_

"_Sounds like someone has maternal instincts."_

"_And they like what they see."_, Whedabra countered, giggling.

"_Well given my love of proving people wrong, thought I doubt I'll ever mention it out loud, Sasuke had better not brag about having been the first to have a kid. My daughter might not know I'm her father, but she counts."_, he said jokingly, getting a smile from the darkness spirit.

"_Amazing how things turn out. Maybe one day, after you join us and get over your fear of our "chibi" bodies, you could...maybe...give..."_, The Darkness spirit trailed off, embarrassed.

"_Give you a child? Or one of the others?"_, Naruto asked, surprised by the request.

"_Forget about it. It's too early in the century to be thinking about that. Now focus; you've got a mission!"_, Whedabra shouted, trying to sound like a coach and distract him from her almost-request.

"Kami knows something weird is going to happen.", he muttered aloud, looking skyward as he stomped out the cigarette and lit a new one. "When I find the fucker that told me "May you live in interesting times.", I'm going to kill him."

* * *

And there's chapter... what, 7?

Whedabra: You forgot again?

Tsukiko: Why didn't I get any lines?... more importantly, why the hell did you ask him to get you pregnant?

Whedabra:(Blush) I-it's a personal decision that won't be carried out anytime soon. So back off.

Hector: Ladies, chill out.

Alright, so the plot kinda thickens: Naruto Has a daughter and Hinata finds that Hikari is slightly attracted to her. I'm trying not to throw to many things on your plate here, what with Naruto's lover and the other person he turned, but his Lover was the Mother of his daughter, so that's kinda like one item.

Now then, If you're going to try guessing at his lover or daughter(whose age is slightly altered), PM me, don't review about it in case someone reads the reviews and gets a spoiler on the off chance you got it right. Same goes for any other guesses. Oh I almost forgot...

Hinata's hair is the same as Catherine "Rip" Van Winkle from Hellsing, though it's a little shorter. She won't be getting her gun or anything, I just thought she was cute, so I gave Hinata her hair.

I don't know why, but I feel like listening to German music suddenly...

Can anyone say 5. Marz by Megaherz? Cause I can. I can also say Youtube.

All I can say now is, and this might be horribly off...

Auf Wiedersehen, Meine Irren Lieblinge!(I don't speak German, so don't leave some witty review in German.)


	9. Bloody Battle

Greetings and Salutations, my Freaky Darlings

We have one fight lined up for you this chapter, and by "we" I mean me and the voices. Anyway, someone said that I should get the plot moving instead of letting this story be choked by fillers. I Agree, but the fillers are sort of there for two reasons: To give you a deeper look at the characters and their interactions, and to give me a little more time to try and bullshit a plot.

Now then, Tsukiko won't end up with Naruto for a while, so don't ask; Hinata and Hikari are going to end up together, obviously, so I apologize if I rush that a little under the reasoning of both of them wanting a little "Comfort" in the form of company. Hinata's dealing with disturbing urges and Hikari's whole family just died. Good enough for me to get them together in a chapter or so :)

I do not own Naruto or Hellsing

* * *

"I swear I've seen you somewhere.", Midari muttered for the umpteenth time, looking at Naruto as they walked along. They had only been on the road for about three hours.

Midari didn't travel with most of his caravan on the return trips, taking only his own large wagon which was drawn by two old horses. Kakashi and Kurenai walked behind the wagon while their students covered the sides, though the formation was a little different. Hinata walked in front of Sakura on the left side of the wagon, Kurenai behind them; Shino walked behind Sasuke on the right side, and Kiba, atop Akamaru, stayed in front of the horses.

Given the horses' dislike of him, Naruto knelt on top of the wagon, glad for it's sturdy build. Normally he would have take a different post, but he had to act like a genin that wanted a good vantage point instead of a Vampire that knew what was happening withing a fifty yard radius... when he was alert anyway.

"And I swear we have not met, Midari-san.", Naruto responded, looking around. Sasuke seemed on-task, though his thoughts showed how much he wanted to be home, fretting over Akemi. To his credit, he had agreed to marry her after apologizing for an hour straight, and he had become a little over-concerned for his soon-to-be-wife. Akemi was a little... overwhelmed by the ease of the life she was entering and the care Sasuke offered, but she was glad that she had at least gotten knocked up by a gentleman.

Shino was as on task as he could be, though he seemed to be interested in collecting and studying the insects of the local area; an idea he decided to act upon once they took a break. Sakura, to her credit, was focused; not a single fangirl-ish thought in her head, and she was running through how to react in case of an ambush.

Kiba and Akamaru was in sync as always, and he barely looked long enough to see they were ready. The animalistic thought process grated against him for some reason. Kurenai and Kakashi were as calm as he was, keeping a close eye on their surroundings but occupying themselves with some conversation.

Hinata was a little nervous though, which made a light frown come to his face. He readjusted his sunglasses and sighed; he didn't like using the mental link, but he supposed it was better than calling her out.

"_Hinata-chan, why are you so nervous? Are you fearing a repeat of our last mission?"_, he asked, physical body not hinting at the conversation. Hinata jumped a little, but hid it with a shudder; like someone had "Stepped on her grave".

"_...A little. It's not your fault, last time I mean. I just... need to grow up."_

"_Ah, but what is the point of growing up if you can't be childish every now and then? Worry not; two jounins, a special jounin, and four other genin who are quite capable of obtaining chunin rank surround you. Nothing will go wrong, little Draculina."_, he said, blinking slowly.

"_I know... it's just that this mission feels sort of off. Like something weird will happen."_

Naruto let a small chuckle escape his lips, though he doubted anyone other than Kakashi and Hinata heard it.

"_In all likelihood, you may end up drinking from a human during this mission. If the chance arises, male or female, I would like to do it. You won't gain your "freedom" without drinking my blood though, so don't worry about losing my loving guidance."_, he joked, flashing the heiress a small smile.

"_Male? Show a little mercy...", _she pleaded, face wrinkling in disgust.

"_You get half the power of any soul you ingest; if you want to become stronger, you will have to muscle past taste for a minute or so. Look at it this way: I have plenty of blood, as do you. Drink from a male, provided he's strong enough to even be worth draining, and you can flush the taste from your mouth with some nice female virgin blood."_

Hinata gave a small nod that only Naruto caught, not liking the prospect. Still, a little extra strength might help her, given the wolf plushie cradled in her left arm.

"_Don't worry about it Hinata; it'll be like taking a bite out of a lemon and them eating a hundred cherries: You'll completely forget about the lemon!",_ Whedabra offered, her voice an echo to the heiress. Normally she might have considered materializing, but given the company she would face for an hour, she decided to stay in sword form; Team 8 was fine with the Spirit, if a little freaked out, but Team 7 was a wildcard. Kakashi had heard her speak before, and Naruto had described her to him, but they had never met "Face to Face".

"_**Will you be quiet? It's aggravating enough to be locked in here alone; I don't need a peanut gallery.", **_Kyuubi asked/shouted. Naruto inwardly chuckled.

"_Now why in the world would I do that, Tsukiko-chan?"_, he replied happily, putting emphasis on her name. He heard the demoness trying to sputter out a reply, but Whedabra cut her off.

"_How did you find her name anyway?"_, She asked, genuinely curious.

"_Same way I learned yours, _Whedabra._"_, he said, putting an odd tone on her name. Tsukiko could feel the Spirit's smile, and it caused a wave of confusion. What the hell were they talking about?

"_Once more, Nosferatu, you prove yourself worthy of my love. I long for the day you'll hold my body to yours."_, Whedabra responded, voice suddenly sounding like it was coming from a twenty-year-old noblewoman instead of a nine-year-old girl.

"_That day is not today. Steady your lust, Whedabra; I'm sure I'll bite off more than I can chew one of these days."_

"_You're no fun. Not even a quickie?" _, she asked, voice turning back into a young girl's.

"_No."_

Whedabra didn't press, though her coy smile could be felt by the vampire.

Smirking, he pressed a finger to Whedabra's sheath and ran it up the length of the sheath; judging by the gasp and light moan, she approved.

"_Tease."_, She chastised.

"_If we're attacked, I'll feed you. No mutilations via claws or ripping their throats out with my fangs; just hacking them to bits with your blade."_, Naruto offered.

"_So romantic; you'll make some woman very happy before me."_, Whedabra replied, sighing. Her lovers were romantic, and everything they did as a group generally involved a lot of romancing, cuddling, or just holding one another in comforting ways. Often it involved rampant sex, but there was a lot of love there too. Whedabra was sort of confused as to why he loved the woman he did, but she supposed that in the end, both of them would be better lovers. She could see them both settling into the life she offered.

Which meant Naruto could show her the love the others couldn't, though she didn't hold it against them. Sometimes you just needed a member of the opposite gender to feel a certain way.

"_**Excuse me while I go puke."**_, Tsukiko muttered, cutting off the mental connection. Naruto could have reestablished it if he wanted, but he figured that Whedabra would annoy the fox later. Why fan flames that are already growing?

Unfortunately for Whedabra, no bandits attacked that day or the next, meaning Naruto couldn't hack them to bits and give the spirit her favorite food.

Midari seemed relieved as they walked in the gates of the small town, glad that Nosferatu the Damned hadn't come to finish job. He had remained blissfully unaware that Naruto was the man who had assassinated his wife, though the vampire was seriously considering killing the man just to shut him up.

"Good.", The chubby man said simply, hopping off the wagon. He turned to the ninja and nodded as he walked off towards his house.

"The sooner we return, the sooner we get paid.", Naruto stated, readjusting his sunglasses. It was noon, and Hinata would be taxed under the harsh rays, but something told him that they needed to get moving.

"Naruto-kun, we just traveled quite a long way. Perhaps a short rest is in order?", Kakashi half offered, seeing the gleam in the Vampire's eyes a moment later. He sighed silently and looked to the genin. "Are you up to starting towards Konaha?"

They gave the affirmative for a variety of unvoiced reasons, but Hinata had to wonder what had Naruto so... twitchy. She couldn't see it, but she could feel him staring at every shadow for some threat or surprise. That alone confused her; what fear did he have of the Darkness?

Naruto started for the road, his long steps forcing the rest into a brisk walk to keep up. He was too busy to notice though, instead favoring his thoughts on what this feeling could be; Battlelust? Bloodlust? Or was it...

He slowed a little, pretending to heed the pleas of the genin. If he was right, then this would be interesting, though his cover would be blown in a heartbeat; Kakashi and Kurenai didn't stand a chance against him, and that was just from a rough guess of how much he had grown.

"Are you okay, Naruto-kun?", Hinata asked, reaching up and placing a hand on his shoulder.

"Well enough I suppose. We might be in for a fight in a several hours.", he remarked nonchalantly, lighting a cigarette. "And it's sure to be a helluva party.". Hinata let her hand drop and tilted her head to the side, slightly confused.

Kakashi tensed slightly at the comment, remembering the first person who had introduced him to the phrase. He hid his surprise, but a quick glance at Naruto confirmed his suspicions. This... wouldn't be good.

"How many?", Kakashi asked, putting his book away. Naruto chuckled darkly, gaze fixed on the approaching storm clouds.

"Three. I can smell them; one cautious and the other two eager.", Naruto said, eyes turning blood red at the prospect. Perhaps he had been too... calm these last few months. A little action sounded wonderful.

The rest of the ninja were confused by the different tones the two ninja had. Team 7 had never heard Kakashi so tense, and Naruto had stopped talking and carrying himself like a genin. Team 8 had never heard Naruto so eager for blood and combat, and were beginning to suspect this was how he carried himself as an Anbu.

"Sasuke, regardless of what happens, you must not get involved in the fight; that goes for the rest of you as well.", Kakashi ordered.

"What are we facing exactly?", Kiba asked, getting ready to defend himself.

"If I'm not wrong, three S-class missing ninja.", Naruto replied, sounding eager. Kurenai's eyebrows shot to her hairline.

"Then why are we walking into this?", she demanded, though neither Naruto or Kakashi stopped. "Unless you think we can't get away...?"

"Kurenai-san, it's safer if we attack head on. Especially if they are waiting until we're in the middle of nowhere.", Kakashi said. "However, you need to protect the genin; Naruto and I will be on the offensive."

"Naruto? But he's a genin, and Kurenai-san in a jounin.", Sakura asked confused. "And what do you mean it's safer if we attack head on?"

"Actually he's a special jounin, stronger than Kurenai and myself.", Kakashi said simply, half smirking under his mask.

"And a Vampire. In a few hours it will be very dark, given the storm.", Naruto continued, not caring if they believed him. "Only the most suicidal of idiots attack a vampire head on in the dark."

"But what's stopping them from attacking now?", Hinata asked, surprised he had broken his cover. She could also feel his battlelust seeping through their connecting, and she was worried she would be exposed as well if her eyes changed.

"They're waiting for us to get away from civilization. No witnesses, and this fight will be easy to find if anyone knows how to track chakra; they need to be a safe distance from just about everything, lest it become a beacon for unwanted attention.", Naruto replied, a twisted smile being forced from his lips. He didn't want to frighten the genin.

"_**Who cares? Scare them shitless, then kill them all!"**_, Tsukiko demanded. Whedabra scoffed at the primal request.

"... Special jounin?", Sasuke asked, slightly awed. Naruto looked back at the genin, eyes burning a bloody crimson, with lips parted just enough for them to see his wicked fangs.

"And if any of you say a damn word about it, It's the death penalty. It's your ass I'm supposed to be protecting, Uchiha, so don't go and make me kill you.", Naruto replied, the Fire in his eyes showing how much he would actually enjoy that. "Orochimaru has taken an interest in you; it's my job to make sure you stay in Konaha."

Sasuke's face hardened and he nodded.

"Don't worry, with Akemi-"

"He'd kill her in an instant under the guise of someone else, probably your brother, in order to drive you to revenge and the power he offers. If you're desperate for power, feel free to ask for vampirism. Long beautiful nights, immense power, and the nagging urge to kill everyone around you, drink their blood, drain their souls and violate their corpses in a multitude of ways."

Kakashi was the only one who didn't pale at Naruto's description. He knew Naruto tried to be a nice guy, and to the vampire's credit he often succeeded, but he couldn't change the fact that deep down...

He was a monster, and he loved it.

Crimson eyes turned back to the road ahead as Naruto bathed in the dim light the clouds provided. A few more hours... just a few more...

The travel seemed like an eternity for the tense ninja, though Naruto was simply bored with the wait; good intentions be damned, he wanted to kill something. And if he could drain an S-class nukenin... or two... Orochimaru would be screwed.

Then, as the sun dipped below the mountains, the group entered a section of the road surrounded by a large clearing. Before them, about thirty yards to be exact, were three individuals in black cloaks that bore red clouds.

The genin stopped as Kakashi and Naruto took a few more steps, getting ready for the fight.

"It's been quite a while... Naruto-kun, Kakashi-kun..."

"Indeed it has Itachi-kun.", Kakashi replied, taking out his tanto. Naruto drew Whedabra from her sheath, eyes glowing in the dark.

"Aren't you going to introduce us to you're friends?", Naruto asked, making his voice as calm as possible.

Itachi chuckled lightly, drawing strange looks from his odd looking companions. The stone faced killer was laughing?

"The large man beside me is Hoshigaki Kisame, former member of the Seven Swordsmen of the Mist. The Plant like man is Zetsu.", Itachi replied. "I'm afraid this isn't a social visit."

"Dare I ask what you desire? Surely you don't want a spar for the "Good old times"?", Kakashi asked, sarcasm dripping from his voice.

"We're here for the Kyuubi.", Kisame interjected, hefting Samehada from his back and aiming it at the duo. "So either come quietly, or I cut your limbs off. Personally, I'd prefer to just shave you to pieces."

Naruto raised an eyebrow and looked at Itachi.

"You didn't tell them, did you?", he asked.

"I warned them that attacking head on at night wasn't wise, but they refuse to believe you're a vampire.", Itachi explained.

"Right.", Naruto grinned wickedly; he loved convincing idiots he was a vampire, especially when he got to do it the "hard way". "Kakashi, the plant is yours; I'm in the mood for some sushi."

"Tch, you really think you can take me whelp? Samehada and I will tear you apart.", the shark man said, taking a stance with his zanbatou. "Don't interfere Itachi; I want him to suffer a little. Why don't you go take care of the _woman_?", he remarked, all put spitting the word out.

"Why do that when I can stand to the side and conserve energy?", Itachi muttered under his breath, walking several yards away. He saw his younger brother out of the corner of his eye and stiffened, not wanting to fight him. Luckily, the boy seemed content to glare while keeping an eye on the battlefield.

"Kakashi of the Sharingan. **I've heard quite a bit about you."**, Zetsu remarked, breaking the silence as he and Kakashi slowly walked away from the glaring contest the swordsmen were getting into.

"I doubt you've heard all of it.", Kakashi replied, hoping his skills hadn't diminished too much.

Kisame decided to make the first move, rushing Naruto with Samehada swinging in a wide arc.

(Megaherz: .5 Marz(5th of March)

Naruto spun under the blade, cleaving the kage bushin in half before blocking a blow from the left. A punch from Kisame destroyed the Kuro bushin, and a quick spin sent another flying. A sword cleaved him in half, turning him into water as Naruto jumped over another swing.

"Suiton: Mizurappa(Violent Water Wave)!", Kisame shouted, shooting the powerful stream at point blank from behind the vampire.

"Katon: Haisekishou!", came the shout from a few meters to his left. Kisame jumped out of the cloud moments before it exploded, landing several feet away.

Naruto dashed from the explosion, smoke and shadows on his heels like rabid dogs. Whedabra met Samehada, and the impact almost took Kisame off of his feet.

Another Samehada caught Naruto in the midsection and threw him back in two pieces; both landed a few feet in front of the other genin, blood pooling beneath them.

"Dammit! Leader-sama is going to have my head!", Kisame swore, though Itachi's laughter cut that train of thought short. "What's so funny?"

"Naruto-kun!", Hinata cried, dropping to her knees and cradleing Naruto's torso while his legs twitched a few feet away. His eyes were dim. "D-don't die on me, please! You can't die!"

Zetsu swore as the tanto cut his fly trap, sinking back into the ground. Kakashi prepared himself, but had looked over in time to see both halves of Naruto sailing through the air. As he turned to deflect a kunai from the plant-man, grab his arm, and tear him from the tree(Throwing his several meters in the process), he heard Hinata's cries and almost scoffed.

Then the Laughter came. Horrible, twisted, gleeful laughter as Naruto's body turned to blood and shadows.

"You've impressed me, Worm.", His voice came as the blood and shadows turned to wisps of black smoke, shooting over into a black twister. Whedabra's blade pierced the wall of the black wind and dispelled it, leaving a perfectly healed Vampire where it's center had been, eye glowing red. "Get ready for level two."

"I suggest you stop holding back Kisame.", Itachi warned from the sidelines as Naruto brought Whedabra's blade to his lips and gently kissed her.

"Why? Lest I watch him maul his lips on that pathetic little sw-"

A massive blast of killing intent shut him up and Whedabra's blade suddenly drank in the shadows of the clearing, turning her blade blacker than the night sky.

"Weep for the Earth that is tainted by the blood of the Sinful, Dark Lady.", he called loud enough for the shark man to hear, "Devour his darkness for your own."

Kisame burst into water as Whedabra cut him in half, but Naruto didn't dodge the sweeping blow that took his left leg off. He spun around and landed a wicked cut to Kisame's chest as his leg reformed.

"Cower mortal!", Naruto shouted, Whedabra singing as she crashed into Samehada, cutting off several scales. "You(Crash) Face(Slash) The(Clang) No(Crash)Life(Clang) KING!"

A powerful downward swing tore through the bushin, but upon contact with the ground, spires of shadow shot up and destroyed the other bushin in a heartbeat. Naruto was on the Real Kisame in a heartbeat, and the man moved fast enough to turn a lethal strike into another cut on his chest.

Naruto smirked as Samehada sheared him in half, turning into a massive swarm of bats around the nukenin and his clone.

He blocked a swing from Whedabra that came from the swarm while his clone took out a swath of bats with another Mizurappa. The swarm flew off and quickly reformed Naruto, who was gone just as soon as he formed.

The two Kisames burst into water as Naruto cleaved them in half. Kisame cut him in half from behind, but the bushin's shadows flew behind Kisame and Naruto shot out of them, slicing the Shark-man's back. Kisame swore and switched places with a leaf, making some room.

An arm shot through his torso, blood flying everywhere, and Fangs tore through the collar of his cloak and into his neck as Naruto repeated rammed Whedabra through him, giving her his shadows as he drank in the man's soul.

He savored the strong blood that coursed through his body, dropping the withered husk when he was done; voracious maws full of sharp teeth rose from the shadows and tore into the corpse, devouring it while the vampire turned his eyes to Itachi.

"Motherfucker!"

Both of them turned their heads to see Kakashi flying their way, multiple kunai buried in his vitals. He hit the ground and rolled, digging the kunai deeper as Zetsu caught his breath a few meters away.

"F-fuck...", Kakashi groaned as he came to a stop near Naruto. The vampire offered a hand, which Kakashi took.

Itachi's eyes and Naruto's were the only ones that didn't widen as Kakashi pulled himself to his feet and pulled out all the kunai, a light green glow coming from beneath his clothes at the wounds.

"Your turn.", Kakashi groaned, pulling one from his lungs. "I'm outta shape."

Naruto didn't stick around to banter, he shot off as soon as Kakashi had started speaking.

Zetsu swore and began to sink underground, but a fanged maw rose from his own shadow and bit his leg off, sending him into a state of silent shock as he stared at the multiple blood red eyes.

Whedabra took both of his arms off, the cuts angles so the venus-fly trap jaws were cut as well. Zetsu looked on in horror, almost in third person, as Razor sharp fangs closed around his throat.

Kakashi breathed a little easier with the man firmly between Naruto's fangs(And with all the kunai out.), but he turned to Itachi with his tanto at the ready.

A few seconds later, Naruto appeared beside him without warning, making even the Uchiha jump. He had in his hand the severed right arm of Zetsu.

"I think this is about to get very civil, very quickly.", Kakashi offered, not wanting to fight Itachi. The short man held his hands up in a placating gesture.

"I'm at your mercy; if Leader-sama learns that I stood by while that happened, I'm a dead man.", Itachi explained. Naruto scoffed.

"So you're offering information in return for your life and protection. Always the calculating ninja, aren't we?", Naruto asked, sheathing Whedabra. He tossed the arm to Itachi, who caught it. "A peace offering for the calculating ninja."

"Naruto-kun, for the hundredth time, I must be the calculating ninja if I want to keep up with you. As you've said before...", He said, unbuttoning his cloak and letting it fall to the ground as he brought the arm up, "I'm the better ninja, but you're the better vampire."

Itachi sank his fangs into the arms, drinking the small amount of blood.

"You know, I should be making peace offerings, not you.", Itachi remarked as let the withered arm fall to the ground.

"Perhaps, but we aren't fond of "Normal" procedure, are we? Consider it a gift from an old friend if it helps you sleep.", Naruto joked, knowing the younger Nosferatu to be an insomniac. Itachi chuckled, taking his weapon pouch off and setting it on the ground as he stepped forward.

Kakashi stepped forward and began to pat him down for weapons. That was a standard procedure they couldn't skip with the rest of the team around.

"Oh Kakashi-kun, I didn't know you cared!", Itachi cooed jokingly as the silver haired man patted him down. He sighed and stood up, whacking Itachi upside the head.

"For the last time Itachi-kun, I don't float that way.", Kakashi complained. "He's clean."

"Great. Now we just have to go see if Sasuke can settle for stabbing you repeatedly.", Naruto said happily, personality flipping just like it used to. He appeared behind the two and put arms around the shoulders, walking forth like they just left a pub.

"Or we can explain what happened.", Kakashi offered, seeing the weird looks they were getting as they neared.

"Or we can let him stab Itachi. It's not like it'll kill him.", Naruto corrected, smiling wickedly as his Amethyst eyes lit up. "Everyone, meet Itachi Uchiha; Former Anbu captain, Ninja prodigy, S-ranked Nukenin, Insomniac, No-Life Prince and the Token Gay guy of our old squad!"

(One hour later, camp in the same clearing)

Sasuke didn't know what to think at this point. The hour long explanation of the Uchiha massacre had confused him, and despite the orders given he couldn't just forgive Itachi.

"So...What?", He asked, shaking his head, "I'm supposed to forgive you just because of an apology and a story?"

Naruto took a drag from his cigarette and sighed. He sat on a log in front of the fire, Itachi to his right with Kakashi on the other side of the No-Life Prince. Sasuke sat between Sakura and Shino on a separate log while Kurenai sat between Hinata and Kiba.

"No, and I don't expect you to...", Itachi admitted, sorrow heavy in his tone.

"Look, Sasuke, it's not his fault...", Naruto added, putting out his cigarette. "It wasn't long after I turned him and the urge to kill is difficult to quell at that age; had I known about the orders that I could have given him, things might have happened differently."

"But they didn't."

"No, they didn't. I had to leave to ward off some visiting nobles, telling them that the Uchiha's were having a Clan meeting and no outsiders were allowed. By the time I got back to the living quarters, you were a twitching wreck, everyone else was dead, and Itachi was about to kill you too.", Naruto explained, shifting. "The first few bloodrages bring out a vampire's crueler side; You and your mother were supposed to live, along with a few more civilian Uchihas. But once Itachi-kun started killing, without me there to restrain him, he went nuts."

Sasuke was silent, but there was still a grimace on his face. In truth, part of him wanted to forgive his brother, to put this behind them, to go back to the days he could say he was proud of his brother... but the rest of him just couldn't do it.

"Would you feel better if I told you why I can't sleep?", Itachi offered, knowing his eternal torment might bring the boy some comfort. He didn't make a verbal response, but a slight nod was all Itachi needed. "I don't often use my vampiric powers; in all truth, the number of souls I have in me hasn't broken twenty, and I often have to fight during the day; it's just not worth it really. I don't feed often either, further weakening my vampirism..."

He paused for a moment, thinking of a way to word this.

"When a vampire goes too long without blood, they start having horrible nightmares of our own death; gruesome, brutal deaths. I...I see the night I lost control often... but I'm not killing them, I'm being killed. Every time I try and sleep, due to my lack of blood, I am murdered by a vampire a hundred times a hundred times over(1).", he explained, sounding very tired. "The blood from Zetsu's arm might let me get on night of rest, but my "Starvation" diet will keep me tormented until I can find forgiveness for what I've done."

"Such things are easier to deal with on a full stomach.", Naruto reminded him, getting a glare from the shorter vampire.

"These powers are a curse; that's why I only fight as a ninja would.", Itachi countered venomously.

"A monster imitating a human, how cute.", Naruto mocked, drawing a glare from the Uchiha.

"And what are you then, O No-Life King, if not a Monster imitating a human?"

"A bloodthirsty murderer. A Predator with the perfect camouflage to blend in with it's prey. A monster who looks human against it's will.", he replied with a straight face. "I have accepted the fact that I am a monster Itachi; I am beyond the point of Redemption. If you'll excuse me, I should go before I rip you apart in a way that you won't heal from."

Naruto stood up, a fresh cigarette in his lips, and zoomed off; the light from his cigarette leaving a glowing trail for a few seconds that lead into the forest.

The world would have been a blur to anyone but him at this point; Kisame and Zetsu fueled his with power, and he wanted to take a moment to test it out. It was roughly half of their power from each, but that was still about an S-ranked boost when taken together. Neither was suited for the sort of combat he liked, but the chakra and jutsu would give him and edge against Orochimaru, even in daylight.

"_Naruto, you need to calm down. You're growling again."_, Whedabra warned, mentally caressing him. He shook off the contact but stopped running as he calmed himself.

"_I am fine."_, he replied as calmly as possible.

"_...Freaked out, Insecure, Neurotic, and Emotional."_

Naruto didn't correct her as he began walking back towards the campsite, leaving the testing of his powers for a later date. Itachi's question had hit a particular chord that only Itachi and Kakashi knew about, aside from Whedabra of course. It was a low blow, but Itachi knew Naruto wouldn't kill him for it. Gruesome torture was still open, but not death.

"_...She'll open up one of these days, you'll see."_

"_I'm not what she desires, regardless of how open she is. I am stuck inbetween two worlds, and it's pissing me off. Alucard stayed in the world of Vampires, Seras struggled to stay human, and they both were powerful and found joy in what they did. I am neither, in neither world, and I find little joy in the scope of things."_

"_Are you asking for a pity fuck?"_

"_...Why not?"_

Whedabra's world screeched to a halt as he said that, and he could feel her irratation.

"_No."_

"_...You're always trying to screw me, so why not now?"_

"_I want to have sex with Naruto, the No-Life King, not some whiny fucking vampire. Guess what, you'll be stronger than Alucard or Seras could ever dream BECAUSE you're stuck in between the worlds: Vampire by death and human by heart. Get your head out of your cold ass before I use my foot to make sure it's wedged in there tight!"_

Naruto stopped, a sort of surprised look on his face; Whedabra had never yelled at him before. Chastised? Yes. Shouted happily about one thing or another? Yes. Yelled at him angrily. No.

He didn't respond though, choosing to walk forth. Whedabra did have a point, and he knew that the Spirit could hear his thoughts and feel his emotions. According to Alucard, He was unique; A vampire with a heart. Seras had wanted to be human, but was stuck as a vampire; He enjoyed being a vampire, but the life humans led wasn't beyond him.

"_Remind me to think of all my problems when I fight Orochimaru. I mean all of them."_, he finally asked of the spirit. Whedabra had cooled down a little, at least enough to feel confused.

"_Why?"_

"_I'm going to take it all out on him; misplaced aggression is fun."_

"_Anything else?"_

"_Yeah: I'm sleeping alone tonight, and that's final"_

"_Spoilsport"

* * *

_

And theres the end. Sorry it took so long; I got stuck on page three. I hope you liked the fight though; it's one of the first one's I've done without Phantom's help... and considering he's in Australia now, he's not gonna be helping me again. I DID NOT PROOFREAD VERY WELL! There will be some mistakes.

1: As in Ten thousand. I don't know how many Uchiha were actually killed, but it happens multiple times in his dreams.

There's a new poll up, if anyone's interested. It has nothing to do with this story, but I'm not working on ANY of my others until I have 100 votes(As of 8/21/10, there are 16).

Maybe not the best chapter, but I was kinda moody through the whole thing, and my musical inspiration kept changing. However, I do have some awesome news: I finally got a girlfriend(This is the part where many of you have heart attacks), which means I won't be short on inspiration. I don't know if I'll have the next chapter out soon, but it should at least be original.

Ja Ne, my Freaky Darlings!


	10. Candles

I've decided to come back and fix this chapter, my Freaky Darlings.

I have a clear goal of what I want to happen, and I intend to follow it now. As one person said, I've diverged too far from the central theme of this story; unintentionally, it seems to be the constant struggle the Naruto has with walking the line between Human and Monster. Well, I can gladly say that he won't long walk the line.

**Please note the I wrote this very late at night, so there may be a few grammar issues.** Please don't bitch.

Now, Let's get this show on the road...

Disclaimer: I do not own Hellsing or Naruto. Whedabra is mine.

* * *

Naruto sat quietly on the lid of his coffin, half-staring at the candle that sat on the table before him. It was a small thing, and seemed even smaller given the fact that it was alone on the table.

His eyes shifted down to the candle in his hands; to the burnt wick.

Part of him was running over the events of the last few days in his mind, questioning what he was to do.

Itachi's return as a prisoner had been kept secret, and those present had been forced to swear an oath of secrecy regarding said prisoner as well as Naruto's own secret and mission. Currently, the "No-Life Prince" was waiting in the cells near the Interrogation room; standard procedure.

Hinata, having seen what Naruto truly was when fighting, seemed a bit more withdrawn, particularly about her vampirism and emerging sexuality. To his understanding she had done something rather rash and foolish prior to their departure for the mission. Kiba seemed frightened of the beast that Naruto became when in combat; they had little interaction since the mission, but he could tell that the Inuzuka was somewhat disturbed. Perhaps they had been acting the night after the fight, or maybe they were just too scared to call him out.

He was again reminded of the argument that he and Itachi had, and once more he looked to the lit candle.

"I walk the line, and I suffer for it.", he muttered to himself, knowing Whedabra was upstairs with her lovers and thus too far to hear his mutterings. "I am no monster, and I am no human."

Perhaps things might have ended differently in Suna had he picked a side.

He had been sent as a "Diplomatic Envoy"; Tsunade's way of saying that he was to examine the minds of the Suna council to make sure they weren't working with Orochimaru, given the upcoming exams. They hadn't been, or at least not intentionally. After all, Orochimaru was a good actor and with the real Kazekage dead there was no one to call him on his act... until Naruto showed up and began to scan the minds of everyone in the room.

It had caught his off guard, to actually feel the twisted genius in Orochimaru's mind, and the moment was all the snake needed. Apparently, though Naruto had no idea how, Orochimaru had made a seal that radiated a sort of light that had the same effect as a powerful sunlight.

He activated all of them, blinding and, much to the nosferatu's surprise, burning him slightly. The snake them slashed him multiple times with the Kusanagi before fleeing. The burn from the blade came from it's silver blade, though Naruto clearly felt that there was also a blessing within the metal. How he had made any of these was beyond him, but Naruto knew it had been a test of his little inventions... a test they had passed.

He hadn't even been able to give chase; Even if he had gotten out of the chamber in time, it was still midday in a desert. It had been a blow to his pride that he had to flee from the room and into darkness to lick his wounds until nightfall, and then return to Konaha with a report of Orochimaru's failure. It also seemed that Suna would be refraining from the Exams, as Orochimaru had set off numerous explosives as he fled, tearing up most of Suna's West half and they needed to repair the damage.

"He's put some thought into this...", Naruto muttered, looking back to the burnt wick in his hands.

Tsunade already had a plan in place by the time he was done reporting. Team 8 was to refrain from the Chuunin exams this year, with Hinata and Kiba staying with their Clans. Naruto was to alter his appearance and tail Sasuke as an Anbu, attacking Orochimaru when he arrived. The rest of the village was to be prepared for war at all times.

"But what does it take to kill him?", he wondered aloud. "Alucard says it takes a man to kill a monster... but what of a monster? What of me?". He reached out and sent the other candle by it's lit counterpart. "Do I become a man to kill the monster, and die? Do I become a monster to kill a man, and live?"

There was no room for indecision in this battle. He would walk from it as either the legacy of Seras Victoria, or the Legacy of Count Dracula..

**(Naruto's Mindscape)**

Her life was, at this point, nothing more than one annoyance after another. First, it had been being sealed into a human, and an infant at that. The second had been her inability to break the seal and escape. Admitting defeat to the same human twice, and a dead one and that, had pissed her off to no end.

Then the idea to corrupt the child had come. It had seemed like a solid plan; muttered whispers when he had no other guidance would gently lead him down the path she wanted without alerting anyone till it was too late. As time went on, she decided on a plan of action after being freed; she'd finish destroying the village and then return to patrol her territory as she had done before the humans had angered her in the first place. Part of it was anger, the rest was some sort of maternal fury; she had never taken a mate, nor did she particularly desire one, and she certainly didn't consider the boy to be of any relation to her; still, she was angered by the stupidity of the humans and the beatings they gave unto a child.

When Naruto had found Alucard, the plan of corruption was ended. He became far too strong willed. Unsure of his direction at times, to be sure, but strong willed. In a moment of rage, luckily coming during a fight in which Naruto was losing and was open to any sort of help, she managed to flood Naruto with her own Chakra. The Berserker state had allowed her to see from his eyes, but the other senses had been muted due to the unfamiliarity of the state. After that, she had a new goal of tempting him into more Berserker states, which she might be able to use to escape. Even if she couldn't escape with them, they still offered a degree of freedom.

After a few years, though, he began to act very strangely though. It was, if she was not mistake, about a year after he had killed the woman who had given birth to his illegitimate daughter. His normal attitude to her had always been one of calm respect; he was very aware of her power, and also aware of the fact that she wasn't a threat to him unless he wanted her to be. Then, it had taken a rather odd turn; still respectful, but it had an almost inquisitive edge to it. Another year later, he began to take on an almost playful attitude around her, provided his own mood was good.

"**And what did he mean by faith...?"**, She asked herself, wondering again what his words from the festival had meant. At the time, she had considered them to mean that she was his "Backup Plan". He had said it once again, however, when she had berated him after the fight with Orochimaru; it just didn't seem like the right definition anymore.

Whedabra, ever unhelpful, had made mocking remarks about it, like how obvious it should be. Such was usually followed up by something regarding how dark it must be with her eyes constantly shut.

Naruto, as of late, had become a sort of enigma to her. In many ways, she hated him. There were times she would daresay she was fond of him. Other times, she didn't know what to say of him. Were he a demon, and given the proper amount of time to mature and grow, he could have become a proper terror, and possibly a viable option for a mate. The offspring from such a Union would undoubtedly be strong.

She shook such thoughts from her mind, not liking their direction. It was much simpler, and easier, to just hate the nosferatu. Tsukiko did wonder, however, how he had found her name. Her FULL name at that.

"My my, you seemed to be rather confused, my dear.", a chilling voice called from the front of her cage. Tsukiko looked up and growled at the older Nosferatu.

"**Alucard... what do you want?"**, she growled out, not fond of his presence.

"Straight to the point. I like that.", he replied, chuckling in his uniquely dark fashion. "Is it so hard to believe that I only want to talk? It does get rather lonely here...". He allowed Tsukiko another growl, and let another chuckle out. "I suppose there was no point in trying for humor."

"**Why did you leave your little shell, vampire?"**, Tsukiko asked, not liking his presence in the least. The man shrugged, taking a moment to examine the silver gun in his hand while pretending to ignore the Bijou. **"Little Bastard... if I weren't in this cage-"**

"What? You'd kill a dead man?", Alucard laughed, looking at the fox over his glasses. Tsukiko growled at his humor. "If you did get out of the seal, what would you do?"

"**Finish what I started."**

"The only way you'll get out is with a collar, my dear fox. It's going to have a rather lavish leash connected, but it'll be in Naruto's hand.", Alucard chuckled. "What then?"

"**No human can control me."**

"But what of a monster?", Alucard asked, the look in his eyes frightening the Bijou. "What if he were a monster the terrified even you?"

"**No such monster exists."**, was the calm, albeit growled, answer. Alucard chuckled.

"No. It does not.", he replied, tone unreadable. "But not even death is set in stone. Your monster may very well come into being; will you then dance with the devil, or will you cower in your cage like a frightened little girl?"

Alucard was gone before Tsukiko could lash out, futility of the action be damned. The depth of the insult struck deep; he had told her that the choice would ultimately lie in either acting like a frightened _human_ child, or walking out to meet a demon that may very well put the previous No-Life King to shame.

"**I am not afraid."**, she scoffed, finding the idea ludicrous. She was the queen of the Bijou; the ultimate engine of destruction. She feared nothing.

Alucard chuckled as he shut the door to his little dungeon, already tasting the end. It was a sweet taste, perhaps made sweeter by the additional twenty one years he had spent in existence. He could already see what was to come, and it excited him. The Dark one and Demoness couldn't see it or sense the change in their master, but he could. The subtle turning of gears as eye opened to sights beyond that of mortal eyes.

Nothing could tell of the pain of being a vampire, and he knew that the two women were far from feeling what Naruto could; that would change. This battle would change everything. They would feel it.

"Clockwork. Pure, precise, and steeped in blood.", he chuckled, leaving them to their own devices until he was needed for the last time. "Children grow up so fast..."

**(With Sasuke)**

Akemi was enjoying herself, and for some reason that was beyond the Uchiha that was gently massaging her shoulders, that made him content as well.

"I was really terrified.", Akemi said out of nowhere, leaning her head back and resting it on Sasuke's shoulder. The Uchiha stopped and looked into his finance's eyes, confused. "When I stopped by the hospital for my usual exam, and the med-nin told me I was pregnant. It was really scary."

"I'm-"

"Don't apologize; if it hadn't happened, then you would have been a fading dream.", she cut him off, turning her head to awkwardly kiss his cheek.

"Don't worry; I refuse to fade. You're stuck with me.", Sasuke replied, trying to hide how awkward this felt for him. It was foreign water.

"Till death doth part us?", Akemi asked, suddenly serious. Sasuke was surprised by the sudden change, and couldn't place the familiar line for the life of him. After a moment, Akemi recognized his confusion and smiled softly. "You never really proposed; you know that, right?"

"Oh...Oh!", Sasuke realized, eyes wide. "Uh...n-now?"

"Not right now; I'm really comfortable, and I'd hate to have to move so you could take a knee before me.", she sighed, leaning fully back into him. "Just hold me, tell me you love me, and never let go."

"With pleasure.", he said, ease and comfort evident in the words as his arms encircled Akemi's waist. He kissed her neck lightly and leaned back slowly until they were laying down on the bed instead of sitting at it's foot. "I love you Akemi, and I'm never letting go."

"You need to work on how the never letting go part sounds, but still...", she playfully returned, rolling over in his arms and kissing him. "I love you too, Sasu-kun."

Sasuke held her tightly, remembering the conversation that he and Tsunade had the day he returned.

_Flashback_

"_Why?", Sasuke shouted. Itachi was getting off without a death sentence, and he was pissed. Part of him, strangely enough, was glad that his brother would live, or at least continue his unlife or whatever he called it, but..._

"_Because we need him alive, both for information and for the upcoming war.", Tsunade replied. "He was a loyal ninja who left because of his own shortcomings. Perhaps he has changed, but he won't try anything with Naruto nearby."_

"_He killed the entire clan, and he's getting off scott-free?", was the indignant reply. _

"_No. He's aiding with the war, and then will be imprisoned to serve his term. We cannot kill him, so he'll have to serve a life sentence.", Tsunade replied, relaying the decision that she and the council had reached._

"_He's already dead!"_

"_Sasuke, I would recommend you watch your tone.", Tsunade warned. "I am well aware of the fact, but this must be treated like a mostly normal incarceration. Itachi and Naruto hide their vampirism for the same reason Kakashi hides his regenerator tattoos; they value secrets like true shinobi."_

"_But Itachi-"_

"_Sasuke, I would be more worried about the people who cannot protect themselves.", Tsunade interjected. "Your fiancée, for instance."_

_Sasuke was taken aback by her words, and was unsure of what she meant. _

"_What does she have to do with this?", he asked, hesitantly._

"_In some ways, everything.", she sighed. "Orochimaru isn't above killing her to manipulate you. If he can use her, and he could easily do so, he'll do it in a heartbeat. For instance, he might take on the guise of a powerful ninja and kill her, driving you to seek revenge and the power to obtain it. He'll offer that power, and you'd more than likely take him up on the offer."_

_For a long time, he was unable to respond to that. He knew that shinobi had no conception of a fair fight, but he just couldn't wrap his mind around what it would take to kill an innocent civilian. _

"_Wh-what...?", was the delayed response. He didn't care how foolish it sounded. _

_Tsunade sighed while her expression took on an almost grandmotherly quality._

"_She and the other civilians will be taken to safehouses when the fighting starts; Akemi will more than likely be taken sooner, due to the fact she bears an Uchiha child. She may, as bad as it sounds, spend most of the Chuunin exams in one of the safehouses, in all truth."_

"_...", Sasuke was silent for a moment. "Will she be safe there?"_

"_Yes."_

"_...I...understand. When will she be asked to go?", he asked._

"_In a little under week. The other villages will begin to arrive in one week, so no one, save for the shinobi council and myself, will know where she will be. Of course, the other civillians will join her once the fighting gets underway, but we will have an evacuation plan to make it as quick as possible."_

_There was a long silence in the room. It seemed an eternity before the younger Uchiha spoke._

"_What... am I supposed to do then?"_

"_...Have faith.", Tsunade replied. "Have faith that Konaha will win, that Akemi will be safe."_

"_...and that Naruto will see Orochimaru to the gates of Hell.", Sasuke added, tightening his fists._

_Flashback end_

For the time being, Sasuke wanted to hold his love in his arms. Then, at the last possible moment, he would put his faith into the same kind of monster that his brother was.

"_Or is it a different kind of monster entirely?"_, He asked himself, trying to keep a light smile for Akemi's sake. "_Is he really a monster?"_

**(With Hinata)**

It had been a foolish action that was totally uncalled for. Drinking blood so boldly before her sister was, for lack of better terms, stupid. Hanabi had been too scared to even be in the same half of the house as Hinata, and the elder sister was regretting it.

Hiashi had explained things to Hanabi, as gently as possible, he assured Hinata. She doubted that it had helped.

"Stupid...!", she muttered, kicking her coffin. It dented the wall. "Great."

She slammed the lid and sat down on it, letting her face fall into her hands. She had never been a brave person, or one to do the unexpected, so she couldn't put a finger on what made her want to drink blood in front of her sister in the first place.

"What's wrong with me?", she asked herself. Could it be the vampirism? Was it changing her? Did it change Naruto and Itachi as well?

"You're no different than you were before.", a voice called in response from the other side of the room. Hinata's head snapped up to find the source of the familiar sound. Her eyes only found the mirror on the other side of the room. Wait... she had used no chakra to summon up a reflection... and why was it sitting in a different position. "Hello there."

Hinata blinked a few times, rubbing her eyes when it didn't go away. Hesitantly, she stood. The reflection lazily did the same, taking more time and doing it with an odd grace.

"What... are you?", she asked quietly, unsure of the situation. Was she asleep?

"Oh you're awake alright.", the reflection said happily, words flowing from a lazy, albeit predatory, grin. "And what could I be other than you?"

"...", Hinata was silent, unsure of how to treat this reflection, or whatever it was.

"Come now, tap into what _you_ are; summon up the bravado of a vampire.", it goaded, ever smiling.

"What are you talking about?", Hinata asked cautiously.

"The same thing that let you drink before your sister; what let you fulfill your _desire_ to drink.", it replied. Hinata scowled.

"I did not want to drink. That's not who I am."

"Oh yes it is.", she replied, smirking. "I should know."

"I would have never done that before. I-"

"You were a shy little girl before. Now, you're a nosferatu. Powerful, fast, intelligent... a goddess to these mortals. Of course you're becoming brave enough to listen to your desires.", the doppleganger cut her off.

"I would never want to drink in front of Hanabi!", Hinata shouted, clenching her fist and sending her sharp nails into her palm.

"But you did...", was the smug reply.

"Listen, whatever you are, I-"

Hinata was cut off by a knock at her door, which she whirled around to face out of some bizarre reflex.

"Hinata-sama, is everything alright? I heard shouting...", a maid asked from the other side of the door. It took Hinata a moment to realize she was waiting for a reply; she calmed herself and answered.

"I'm fine. I just stubbed my toe on the dresser.", she lied, feeling something other than air flowing out with her words. The _suggestion_ power that Naruto had cautioned her about.

"Alright.", was the muted reply, though Hinata couldn't tell if it was because of the door or the _suggestion_.

Hinata turned back to the mirror to find her reflection gone; in it's place was her, or at least her clothes. Without the chakra, there was nothing there but a floating shirt and pants. The doppleganger's grin and words remained in her mind, however.

"I am not like that.", she muttered, turning the mirror around to face the wall in case the reflection came back to bother her.

It did irk her, however, as she walked back to her coffin and sat down. Back when she was a human, which seemed almost an eternity ago despite the short amount of time, she had been a shy little thing. She had never really been content with it, she supposed, but she had never really known how to be more assertive or even what to do if she was.

Part of her admitted that, had she the courage, she might have been a troublemaker in the academy; be it for attention or infamy. Maybe she would have been a more aggressive fighter as well. She had, after living through her mother's death, been slightly scared of death; her young mind had associated injury with death, and had placed the brave as the first to be injured. Becoming a ninja was expected of her, but she would have rather skipped it if she had been given the choice. If she had been braver, she might have embraced it from the beginning.

Would she have been somewhat like Sakura and Ino then? Would she have found a boy and gone after him? Part of her disagreed; something had always put her off about the boys. She remembered all the girls though.

Hinata screwed her eyes shut, and let her face fall to her hands again. She couldn't deny that vampirism had given her strength and speed, but she wasn't sure if she was ready to say that it made her brave. Brave enough to be someone she wasn't ready to accept being. Brave enough to accept what she wanted. Brave enough to be free.

"No... not yet.", she muttered to herself. Freedom was a nightmare that was far off, and she didn't want to think of it. Naruto's mind, though distant and walled off, was still a source of stability to her, and she doubted she could stand without it. He offered no direct help at the moment, and she could tell he was busy mulling over something important, but she remembered him saying that personal problems are best dealt with one at a time.

What were her problems? Being a vampire, being brave, and being gay seemed to be the top three that were throwing her life into turmoil, though the last was kept a guarded secret. It was more than likely the easiest to start with, however, and she figured it might not be a bad place to start.

She was reminded of only remembering the girls of the academy growing up; the boys were there, of course, but she only really remembered the girls maturing. In a way, it came from the fact she really only sat near the girls, but she took a small leap of faith and decided to take a moment to look at it as though she had been gay from the start.

Throughout the years, she supposed that no man had really caught her eye. Naruto had, in his own creepy and charming way, but she could tell that something was off; it might have been the whole "different species" flag that instincts might have been throwing up, but even after becoming a nosferatu he seemed to be wrong.

Almost being raped by a man was undoubtedly a contributing factor. There were a few she was comfortable with, but she still got a little shaky when she walked too close of a man on the streets. Deep down, she did want company in the intimate sense, but with the opposite sex cut off it made the choice fairly clear.

"Above and beyond the public opinion, I guess it wouldn't be so bad...", she said to herself. "And worrying about being gay is a little easier than worrying about being a vampire...". She giggled. "Baby steps, after all."

The chuunin exams were coming up soon, however, and she knew that she should be focusing on training. She had agreed to Tsunade's plan, and despite not taking part in the exams, she still wanted to be at the top of her unnatural game for the fight. Still her mind would eventually be idle, and she was rather glad to have something to think about.

"Being a lesbian, being a vampire, being brave.", she muttered, "That's the order I'll deal with them in.". To some it would be exceptionally odd; Hinata knew what the last item entailed, however, and the order she had set suited her fine. At some point she knew she would have to patch things up with Hanabi, which was far easier said than done.

She stood up and opened her coffin, deciding that sleeping for a few hours would do her good. She got inside and pulled Moriko from her spot beside the pillow and hugged the plushie to her chest before reaching up and shutting the lid. She smiled at the stuffed wolf in the darkness and let her eyes drift shut.

**(With Naruto)**

"What are you up to, oh wielder-o-mine?", Whedabra asked, walking down the stairs for once. She was rather surprised to see Naruto having a staring contest with a pair of candles.

"Riddling out the secrets of unlife.", was the muttered reply.

Whedabra descended the rest of the stairs and crossed the room at a steady gait, sitting down beside the nosferatu. Her face was one of calm curiosity. She had spent quite a while with her lovers, and she was starting to question if she should have left him alone this long.

"Naruto, is there something you want to talk about?", she asked.

"...", Silence. For a long time, it remained that way; then, a change came so abruptly that the words almost didn't register. "What is the price for saying your name?"

Whedabra sighed when the words caught up to her.

"If you say my name, I take the life of the speaker.", she replied calmly. "If you said it, I'd kill you and keep your soul. The way I do it affects the undead as well."

"Then it seems you and I will be getting better acquainted soon.", He admitted. "It's unlikely that I'll be able to fight Orochimaru without calling on you. I'll call your false name, and then your true name if that isn't sufficient."

Whedabra was quiet at the calm proclamation. She was rather hesitant about discussing this.

"Naruto... I would rather you not.", She replied, tone quieter than normal.

"It seems that I will die either way. I'd rather it be by your hands.", he replied. In a rare moment that caught the spirit off-guard, he leaned over and gently kissed her. Even in this form, Naruto could feel her poisonous saliva burning his lips while she felt his icy skin chilling hers. He pulled back after a few moments. Whedabra's eyes were shadowed by her hair, and her expression was otherwise unreadable.

"...I have half then, don't I?", she asked, barely a whisper. It was something she wanted, but she didn't want to have to kill him herself so soon after getting it.

"In a way you've always had half. She'll receive the other, and more than likely tear it to shreds.", Naruto replied, looking back to the candles. "So make sure you hold on tight."

"Naruto, if I make myself older, will you hold me tonight?", she asked, form flickering. The nosferatu shook his head.

"Not tonight. After I've decided what I am, then I will.", he replied. Whedabra seemed slightly sad as her form solidified again.

"I...suppose it's impossible to walk the line forever.", Whedabra remarked, readjusting herself on the coffin. She had chosen her side after walking the line for years, and she was content. At times she regretted it, but the pros of her life outweighed the cons. "What happens if she doesn't shred it? What if we both hold halves?"

"Then my choice between human and monster will be the least of my worries.", Naruto replied, a poor attempt at humor. Whedabra allowed herself a small giggle, knowing that the choice was bothering the nosferatu.

"You never really know how things will turn out. Expecting the unexpected will only make something completely random happen, just to throw you off. Trust me.", she shrugged, regarding her wielder from the corner of her eye a moment later. "Just go with it. What happens, happens..."

"...Thank you, Whedabra.", Naruto replied. He reached forward and took the unlit candle in his hand. He hesitated for a moment before lighting it with the other. "You can't end a fire with a match.", he muttered.

"But a bonfire will consume the match, and grow stronger because of it's flame.", Whedabra countered, not sure where he was going with this. He rarely started philosophical debates for the fun of it. The bemused grin that spread across his face spoke volumes, however.

"Well then, here's to hoping that I'm not the match in the upcoming inferno."

* * *

And there's the revised Chapter 9. I'm not making any promises for chapter 10, because I don't know just yet. But this is proof I'm not dead.

Just to throw this out there, Kakashi has tattoos over most of his body with healing jutsu sealed inside. So he's a regenerator in most regards. Not quite like Alexander Anderson, but that general idea. I just didn't want a three-man vampire squad.

Ja Ne, my freaky Darlings.


	11. Aria of the Moonless Night

Hello once more, my Freaky Darlings!

I hope you enjoy the final chapter of this story. I had a creative surge and finished it in one night, so forgive and grammar mistakes. I'll fix what I can later, but for now... I think you have waited long enough.

**Please read the revised chapter 9 before this. It's listed as ten in the navigation window due to the prologue, for those of you who didn't know.**

* * *

"We meet again, old friend.", Naruto muttered, donning his obsidian mask. He had altered his form to once more mimic Alucard, feeling it was more appropriate for some reason. Shadows wrapped around him and formed the usual Anbu gear, to which he attached his pouch and Whedabra's sheath.

Time had flown by, it seemed. A week ago, the officials began arriving with the genin teams, and the days leading up to this seemed to be a blur. Oto, Iwa, and Kumo were the only ones to arrive, and Naruto knew full well who was on what side. Given Konaha's size, they were only slightly outnumbered, though Naruto had no doubt that Orochimaru had a number of nasty little surprises for the fight.

Perhaps he wouldn't be able to unleash all of said surprises if Naruto cut him in half, but the snake had proved to be tricky according to Jiraiya. Regardless, he would go for the kill the moment that he could.

He shook his head to clear it of distracting thoughts and shadow stepped into Tsunade's office. The instant in the absolute darkness was refreshing, though he longed for the caress it offered as he stepped into the light.

"I see you're suit up and ready.", Tsunade remarked, putting her robes over the battle armor of the hokage. "In five minutes, the second exam will start. You need to get over there and tail Sasuke.", she ordered. Naruto had known her long enough to know that the "Short and sweet" orders were her way of dealing with stress.

"Hai, Tsunade-sama.", he replied, eyes glowing behind the mask. He was getting excited, he could feel his blood flowing faster withing his veins and through his unbeating heart. As he was once more consumed by shadows, he felt the excitement grow. It was, in many ways, in anticipation for the upcoming battle. Death excited him, the possibility of it being his own death only adding to the flames.

"Should I not be frightened of my death?", he risked whispering to himself as he appeared in the branches of a tree near Team 7's gate. "But I am already dead, so what is there to fear?", he muttered mockingly to the air.

He thought, for a moment, of those he considered kin and family; they were far more mortal than he, and may very well die this day. Human concern flooded his veins, flowing alongside the fervor of a monster.

The sound of a chain striking the ground reached his ears, and he looked down to see the Team dashing into the Forest. Sasuke was in the lead, though he seemed to be a little skittish; Tsunade had told him of the little talk they had, and Naruto couldn't blame the child. If he didn't focus, however, it was unlikely he'd survive even with Naruto's help.

The shadows welcomed him as he half entered them and followed the group's progress. It was a strain, to be sure, to stay in between the worlds for any length of time. If he wanted to get the jump on the snake then this was a necessary burden, if said snake even showed up.

He watched, ever vigilant as Team 7 had a few fights with a couple of other teams. Knowing the he was only here for Orochimaru, he didn't interfere with these little battles; they were of little consequence to him anyway. The only one that caught his attention was the third fight, in which Team 7 managed to get a Heaven scroll from the other team. All they had to do was make it to the tower now.

After a while, they began to have a muttered conversation about which way to go. From what Naruto could hear, Shino wanted to rest and recover for an hour or so, while the other two wanted to go on and get to the tower as soon as possible, though Sasuke wanted to move at a much faster pace. Then, before Shino could make an argument for his cause, Naruto felt something shift.

Before he could react, which was really saying something, a vicious blast of wind tore through the forest, taking Team 7 with it. What he could react to, however, was the shadow that jumped along after them.

"Time to finish this.", Naruto muttered to himself as he launched himself from the branch, shooting after the snake.

The perpetual twilight of the forest was in his favor, providing enough shadow for him to catch up in no time.

"So good to see you again.", Orochimaru greeted from above. Naruto dashed to the left in time to avoid the air bullet while the clone he was chasing took the full blast and dispelled. The snake stood on a branch roughly forty feet high. "Looks like your reflexes are much better in the shadows."

Naruto didn't waste time mincing words; he shot up to the sannin, lashing out with his claws. Orochimaru was somewhat surprised by the speed at which Naruto could move, causing the Nosferatu to smirk.

"Didn't calculate this, did you?", he taunted, increasing his assault. Orochimaru learned quickly, however, and dodged most of his moves with ease. In a moment of slight imbalance on Naruto's part, Orochimaru took the opportunity to throw several kunai into the vampire while jumping back a good thirty feet.

Naruto didn't grunt as his blood forced the blades out and sealed up the wounds. Orochimaru seemed partially unnerved by the speedy regeneration.

"Very fast indeed. I think I'll have to take a sample after all.", he remarked, wicked grin spreading across his face as Naruto closed the gap.

He backstepped out of the way only to be impaled on Whedabra's blade from behind. Before that shock could register, Naruto tore into the snakes neck, dispelling the clone with an after thought as he drank in the blood.

By the time he realized his mistake, it was too late; the world flipped around and distorted while fire filled his veins.

Suddenly, he was in a large ring of seals in the middle of a barren field. Before he could even get his fangs from the body, each seal began to radiate light.

"You seem rather surprised, Naruto-kun. I would have thought you smarter than that.", a familiar voice taunted from the other side of the array. Orochimaru chuckled as his chakra activated the extra seals, causing them to rise up in a dome shape around the two. "Did that seem too easy?"

"What (Cough), what was in the blood?", Naruto demanded as flames scorched his insides, he wasn't overly surprised that Orochimaru knew who he was. Orochimaru chuckled.

"Silver nitrate and a bit of garlic for good measure; a little technique I learned in the Akatsuki provided the means to move the little meat puppet, and you went right along with it.", he chuckled, brandishing the kusanagi. "Didn't you think it odd that I didn't use this or my snakes? You're slipping, vampire."

"Son of a bitch!", Naruto shouted, tearing Whedabra from the body and spitting out as much blood as possible while Orochimaru laughed. Naruto could her Whedabra groaning in pain, causing him to look down at her.

Her blade was slowly dissolving in the light, which was apparently too intense for the darkness spirit. He quickly sheathed her, though he could feel the sheath suffering the same fate. He didn't know what would happen if it completely dissolved.

"_N-naruto... I don't know how he got the light this strong, but I can't fight in this light. I...I'm going to hide in your mind. If you call me, this light will dissolve my form. You're...you're on your own.",_ Whedabra lamented, her sword form being absorbed into Naruto's body.

"_Your true name should-"_

"_The light is too strong, and there's nothing for me to draw a shadow from to begin with. I...I'm sorry."_

Naruto closed his eyes and steeled himself, knowing this was going to be the start of a hellish fight.

"Oh, and try not to let the sounds of Konaha's destruction distract you.", Orochimaru warned, smirking as an explosion went off in the distance.

"What?", Naruto shouted, whirling around. He cursed his stupidity as the Kusanagi cut a gash across his back. By the time he turned around, Orochimaru was already out of striking distance.

"A little slow in the sunlight, aren't we?", Orochimaru chuckled.

Naruto swore and pulled out a kunai, not knowing how he would fare in this fight.

**(At Konaha) **

Hinata remembered one thing very clearly from the day that Iruka had explained ninja wars; he said that they rarely last very long, because the strategy is to catch the opponent unaware and unleash everything that you have. It was one thing to hear it in a classroom, and another entirely to see it happen.

Out of nowhere, an explosion rocked most of Konaha; it had come from the East side of Konaha, if she wasn't wrong. It had caught almost everyone off-guard, her father being the only one to start moving as soon as it happened; he ordered the ninja to battle while the civilians were to enter the bunkers below the compound.

So, she followed her father, not knowing what else to do; she felt somewhat naked without Moriko, but she was somewhat reassured by the fact that the plushie was safe in her coffin.

"Evening, Hiashi-san.", a silken voice called from beside Hinata. Several eyes looked over to see Itachi running alongside the young Hyuuga. "I need to borrow Hinata, if that's alright. Don't want her raging near the family, right?"

Hiashi gave a grim nod, both to Itachi and his daughter. It hurt her slightly, to see that nod, but she knew that it was a wiser course of action to stick with Itachi. The two of them broke off and leaped over the walls of the compound and dashed towards the fighting.

"Any advice?", Hinata asked, looking over. She was rather surprised to see Itachi lighting a cigarette. The dagger in his hand, a truly twisted and wicked thing, caught her eye though.

"If they're aren't with us, then they're going to be with the dead.", he replied. "Your orders will keep you from killing Konaha ninja directly, but try not to go into a rage completely."

"R-right.", she replied, trying to steel herself for the fighting. She could smell the smoke and see the ninja now. "Anything else?"

"Don't play with your food."

The Uchiha was suddenly gone, the only thing marking his presence was the glow trail from the cigarette. Said trail was zooming towards the enemy ninja, and Hinata almost pitied them. A sort of excitement came from the pit of her stomach though, catching her off-guard. It was overwhelming, just like the scent of blood that now filled the air.

Red began to tint her vision as she neared, and her movements began to take on a move natural motion, like she wasn't thinking about what she was doing. A hail of shuriken flew towards her, and an invisible hand guided her actions as she weaved through the storm.

Seeing something she wouldn't have before, she grabbed a larger shuriken out of the air and threw it back. Her vampiric strength and agility had put more force and spin to the blade. A wicked grin came to her features as it tore through a ninja. She knew that she should have been repulsed by the action, but she just couldn't bring herself to feel anything other than this unholy excitement.

She finally made it to melee range and began to lash out with her claws in a whirling, perverted version of the Jyuuken. She saw the glow trail speed through a group of ninja, darting this way and that while lacerations and mutilations followed close behind it.

A painful shock brought her from the momentary lapse and face to face with a kumo ninja who had been foolish enough to get within arm's reach of her.. Hinata let loose an enraged howl, tearing the woman's arm off and sinking her fangs into her throat before she could move away.

The blood brought on a moment of dreadful clarity; she could feel the suffering and terror of everything around her, most of all the woman. She couldn't stop herself from drinking, and was forced to feel every second as an eternity of terror as she drank in the kunoichi's soul. Then, a sort of numbness came over her as the cadaver dropped from her fangs.

Strength flooded her limbs, and a iron will seemed to come forth in the flames of her crimson eyes. She took off before the numbness was entirely gone, but moved far faster and more gracefully than she had thought possible. She had been cold ever since her turning, and now she felt warm...

And she liked it.

Itachi scoffed as the Hyuuga started her own little rampage; his job was to calm her if she actually managed to rage, not to stop a wholesale slaughter. She was moving fairly slowly compared to him, though he doubted she'd catch up any time soon; between his training and the stomach full of blood that he had allowed himself for the battle, he was moving at what most ninja would call breakneck speeds.

The red trail was the only way to follow him, and even then there was always the delay and the unpredictability of his actions that stopped retaliation. Waves of kunai, shuriken and jutsu flew towards him to no avail. The speed was burning up blood quickly, but he made sure to keep licking the dagger clean between killings; it wasn't making up for the blood burn entirely, but it would keep him going until he absolutely had to drink.

A familiar cry and the sound of chirping birds came from the other side of a row of building, making the nosferatu smirk. Kami forbid everyone on his team was subtle.

Kakashi wasn't fond of warfare, but he had to admit he was good at it. With allies around it was easier to run through a jutsu or cancel a genjutsu with the Sharingan; the Chidori tore through ranks at a time, though there were always more ninja where others fell. It pained him to see so many of his own allies dying as well, but he focused on the next wave.

This was his home, and he'd be damned if let it fall for want of a pity party.

**(With Akemi)**

"It'll be alright.", Akemi assured a woman who was trying to calm her child. The red-head was surprised at how quickly the civilians had been evacuated; almost a half hour, and the entire non-shinobi population was in the shelters.

For the most part, she had been quietly showing the newcomers where everything was, and cautioning them to be quiet like she was. It had been a somewhat annoying job, but it was slightly easier than having to make drunks quiet down. She knew that she had been sent here early because of being pregnant with an Uchiha child, and that irked her slightly. Still, she tried to use her "experience" to make sure no one was scrambling around looking for something.

She moved to the back of the shelter and sighed, feeling suddenly helpless. She knew that stepping outside the shelter was practically a death sentence, but part of her yearned to know that was going on outside. Explosions and yelling could be heard through the walls, and her thoughts inevitably turned to her soon-to-be husband.

He was proud of his skills, but she knew that there were plenty of ninja that were stronger than him outside, and that it was...

She shook her head and focused on the moment; she hushed a pair of young children that had started fighting. Akemi knew that such thoughts were unwelcome and of no help during such a time.

Still, her heart went out in hopes of finding some way of knowing that Sasuke was alright.

**(With Team 7)**

The gust had knocked the team for a loop, but landing in the middle of a battle gave them little choice but to suck it up and start fighting. From the taunts and shouts of the Oto ninja, something was very wrong. It wasn't until an explosion had rocked the ground that they spoke of the war.

The fight had been evenly matched until Shino used his bugs to take out the one with modified arms; Sakura had caught another in a genjutsu long enough for Sasuke to end him with a fire jutsu that also scorched the last survivor. A kunai from Shino ended that as well.

With the sound of battle on the horizon, and adrenaline numbing the pain and the realization of death, they shot off towards the fighting, intent on joining the battle for their home.

"_Please... be safe Akemi!"_, Sasuke mentally pleaded, Sharingan spinning. He had a person to protect now, and he would be damned if he let any harm come to her.

**(With Naruto)**

All things considered, he was shocked that he wasn't dead at this point. The silver nitrate had completely halted his regeneration, and though he didn't know if the garlic actually did anything he knew it wasn't helping his current situation.

"You're out of shape.", Orochimaru mocked, brandishing the Kusanagi; it's blade was covered with Naruto's blood, in which there were several silver streaks.

"When are you going to stop talking?", Naruto panted, trying to ignore the pain from the multiple lacerations that covered his body. His armor was in tatters, the only real remaining part being his pants.

"Forgive my habit; I grew accustomed to talking to corpses while I dissected them.", Orochimaru mocked, using an almost apologetic tone.

Naruto narrowed his eyes, doing his best to stop himself from going berserk; if that happened he risked entering shadow form and dissolving in the light. Kunai were proving rather useless against the Kusanagi, but given that he was only as durable as a human in the light he knew it was better than testing his claws. He pulled another from him pouch, knowing there to be only a few left.

"I have to wonder why you aren't using jutsu.", Orochimaru asked as the vampire charged, parrying the blow. He dared to call this little farce of a battle amusing.

"Shut it!", Naruto shouted, fighting a losing battle with his desire to go berserk. He wouldn't admit, though, that he was scared of going berserk. Voices that he thought he had silenced were again gnawing at his consciousness, trying to provoke him.

"Could it be that the light is interfering with your chakra?", Orochimaru questioned, cutting another gash on Naruto's left arm as the two of them clashed. "Or did a certain nightwalker never learn any?"

"Shut up! Worthless cur!", Naruto snarled out, lashing out with claws in his sudden fury. Orochimaru smirked at the nosferatu's pitiful form and slashed the hand twice before leaping out of the way.

The concentration of "poison" in the vampires veins was apparent in his sluggish motions and deteriorating mental state; Orochimaru dared to congratulate himself on a poison well made. Given that it was based off of lore and legend, he was decently proud of himself.

On top of the fact that the invasion was going as planned –he had seen the giant snake summonings success, if the smoke was anything to go by. He was in no position to look for the serpent given the distance, but his minions had radioed in with the results. Konaha was slowly losing ground.

He considered finishing the vampire before him now, but he knew better than to kill something and turn his back to the corpse. Intelligence that had taken years to piece together told him exactly what he needed to do to make sure that Naruto wouldn't be a wrench in any future plans.

Taunt him into berserker state, and thus the shadow form that would be devoured by the light. Judging by the ire in the vampire's motion, he was getting close. A few more cuts and low blows would do it.

"Would you like a break? I have all day. Konaha... not so much.", he taunted, pretending to clean his nails with Kusanagi's point.

"Fucking... snake!", Naruto panted, feeling dizzy. He forced the world to stop moving and charged, roaring with kunai in hand.

He made a swipe at Orochimaru's midstection and was blocked. He whirled around and tried another cut with similar results. The light slowed him pitifully, and burned him all the while. If he actually went to hell during this fight, he doubted he'd notice the difference.

The lack of snake might actually make it more fun.

"_Slaughter!"_

"_Destroy!"_

"_Drink!"_

"_Maim!"_

"_Rape!"_

"_Kill!"_

"_Kill!"_

"_KILL!"_

The voices gnawed and gnawed as his slashes became more and more desperate, trying to land any blow that would draw blood.

Crimson tinted his vision as he went, slashing directly for Orochimaru's throat.

Orochimaru half considered cutting the limb off, but he didn't feel like having to watch the arm if Naruto had any tricks up his sleeve. He was decently sure the sunlight would prevent such things, but assumptions were lethal in the wonderful world of ninjas. Deciding it was the wiser course, he shunshined out of the way, making sure to throw a kunai into the nosferatu's back from the other side of the ring.

"Motherfucker!", was the resulting roar, followed by a long string of snarled gibberish.

Orochimaru smirked, knowing the end was close. A few more cuts and the vampire would end himself with that berserker form.

"You know, it's almost as though you were trying to be the savior to the village...", Orochimaru remarked as though they were holding a casual conversation. "A pitiful thought; how could a monster ever hope to save humans?"

"...Shut Up...", was the growled response.

"Tell me, does it make the defeat that much more painful? This little ruse, that is. You've been trying to convince yourself that at that drop of a hat you can become human.", Orochimaru remarked. "Was it so that you could convince yourself that you'd be able to go see that illegitimate daughter of yours?"

"..."

"Didn't you kill her mother?", he asked, shrugging a moment later. "I suppose I'll have to find her though. I want to know what a Damphyr is capable of. That is the proper term, no? Half human, half vampire, correct?"

"..."

"Even sounds like "damned". Rather amusing, really, to consider that it means she's been damned from birth.", Orochimaru added. The gears were grinding in the fiery eyes of the nosferatu opposite of him.

Naruto took off as fast as he could, intent on tearing the snake man to shreds. The voices were growing louder alongside the pounding agony from all the cuts.

He slashed with a kunai in his left hand and claws on his right. Orochimaru knocked the kunai from his hand and punted the weakened vampire away.

"I do hope your daughter puts up a better fight. If not, I'm sure I could find that Hyuuga you turned and have her produce a few more Dhamphyrs for me.", Orochimaru added, knowing it would be the final piece in the puzzle. "Wasn't it your fault that she was almost raped and killed?"

"**FUCK YOU!"**

Orochimaru was struck by a sudden pressure that he had only experienced when he had ventured too close to a Bijou. At the same time, it was much darker; the aura of a berserker vampire. Now all he had to do was wait and the light would do it's work.

Naruto's form shifted and lost it's physical state, turning into shadows tinted red. The light burnt him as he turned, breaking his form down quickly. Orochimaru watched as the mass was seemingly paralyzed by the light that was eating it away. It was taking as much time as he thought, and soon only a puddle of darkness remained. Suddenly, it stopped, causing the Sannin to pause.

**(Naruto's Mindscape)**

"It is time...", Alucard muttered, hearing the sound of stone being sundered. It resonated throughout the castle without exception. A roar of rage and hate soon followed, actually startling the older vampire for a moment, though a wicked grin soon carved a wicked path across his face.

Alucard stood and spread his arms, hearing the bashing at the iron door as a herald that would take him to the afterlife after so many years. It would be a quick happening, to be sure, and he didn't know that form it would take, but he was looking forward to it nonetheless. The pounding came louder, and he could see dents forming on the door.

"Come and get me, oh ye monster!", he taunted as the door was finally blown from it's hinges. Darkness flooded inside, with hundreds of reaching claws flying through the air toward the nosferatu. He welcomed them and the grabbed him and tore him from the room, already knowing where they were taking him.

He saw a claw taking off down the hall, one becoming thousands in the darkness. He almost questioned what the raging vampire had in mind.

The claws flew through the corridor like a raging beast, smashing into walls and destroying what was once the hall. As the darkness traveled, it left behind thousands of claws that directly tore at the walls and ceiling, leaving no stone undisturbed on whatever unholy mission they were on. The main cloud twisted and turned though the darkness, devouring the torches as it dove towards the very depths of the dungeon.

The roar of stone had altered her that something was very wrong, though the first sign was the dark whispers that permeated the vampire's mind and resounded from the dark walls. The bestial roar had shocked her, having never heard such a bloodthirsty noise from any sort of beast before in her life. Then they came.

It was a wall of claws that was illuminated only by their own red taint, barely visible in the darkness from which they sprang. To her surprised the tore are the cage, ignoring the seal as they ripped the bars to shreds and continued on to the Kyuubi herself. Tsukiko tried to bash them away with claw and tail, but the claws divided and grabbed her a thousand times over, the smell of blood overwhelming her as she was dragged from her cage.

Normally she would have welcomed the escape, but something was wholly unnatural about this, and the claws reeked of blood. They were undaunted by her resistance and tore her from every foothold she managed to gain, pulling her up through the tunnel the the claws had torn all to hell. She was being dragged tails first, and was forced to watch as darkness consumed the corridor that led to her cage. For once, she wished she was inside the bars instead of the iron, almost liquid grip of the thousand shadowy claws.

She had never been this far from her cage, having only been able to see out of her cage to the stairs that lead up to the first curve. Tsukiko tried in vain to struggle though, finding the momentary lapse had allowed the claws to double their speed. The closer they got to whatever unholy presence was controlling them, the more Tsukiko found herself wanting to go back. It was exciting, but she had never faced an opponent that she couldn't face head on.

Finally, she was thrown from the cloud with a great deal of force into an open space. She managed to make herself flip midair in order to land on her feet, though the sight of her landing pad being a small bit of rock floating above a sea of blood was far from reassuring. Still, she was graceful for her size and landed perfectly, though the rock was barely big enough for her.

"**Where am I?"**, she roared, getting no answer at first, it was like darkness of the purest kind filled the room, while still letting her see. It was so confusing that it was almost like her mind was refusing to process what was going on infront of her.

A scream of indignation came from her right, which cleared some of the darkness. Tsukiko saw that she was on the right left of the massive room, having been thrown from the left corridor. The right corridor, from which the scream had come, soon produced another writhing mass of shadow claws that spat out a small figure onto a rock that floated a bit to the right of Tsukiko's own perch.

"What the hell?", Whedabra shouted, rather pissed off. She had been recovering from the sun damage when the shadows had burst into her room. They had torn her from her bed, much to the charaign of her lovers, and took her down the hallway to the throne room. "Wait, what the hell happened here?"

It was completely shattered; the walls were cracked, and the floor was gone. They were floating on two pieces of what looked to be what was left of the floor, while below a sea of blood churned in a gory tide.

"Dammit, what did you do?", Whedabra snapped, looking over at Tsukiko.

"**I did nothing! I thought the shadows to be your doing!"**, she roared in counter.

"I can't control them, so how the hell could it be me?"

Tsukiko didn't know if she had even seen the spirit this pissed off before. Before she could level a comment on how her own powers were suppressed by the malevolent aura, a dark laugh echoed through the room over the roar of blood below.

Both of them looked over to see Naruto standing on the back of this throne, which floated in the air much like their own rocks. He was different though, but at the same time it was like he hadn't changed at all.

His hair, once a glorious silver, was now a violent crimson as though it was stain with fresh blood. Adding to it's frightening appearance was the fact that it was waving wildly in the air above Naruto as he cackled madly. Said Nosferatu was shirtless, though a pair of black trousers covered his lower half. His flesh seemed paler than normal, and his eyes burned with a fire that was unknown to both Spirit and Bijou.

"Naruto, what's going on?", Whedabra asked, chancing a question. Her answer came from above.

"He's accepting his side of the line.", Alucard replied, floating above on what looked to be a crucifix. "He is becoming a true nosferatu."

Whedabra and Tsukiko, being attuned to the ebb and flow of energy could see that Alucard's very existence was being drained from him while Naruto drank it in, becoming more and more... there. Whedabra could put no words to it, but it seemed that every second made Naruto's presence that much more heavy and choking. At the same time, there was an edge to it that shook her to her soul.

"Such a glorious moment, isn't it?", Naruto laughed, causing a few more stones to fall into the sea below.

Whedabra and Tsukiko chanced another look down and realized that the ocean of blood below them had at least two hundred individuals drowning in the tide while they floated above.

"**What's going on?"**, Tsukiko growled, tails flailing. She made sure to keep them far from the unholy tide below. The stare that Naruto sent her was sent ice through her veins.

"A moment... a moment...", Naruto repeated, starting his insane laughter again after a moment, throwing his head back while doing so.

"Naruto!", Whedabra shouted, causing the vampire to freeze. She saw the last bit of Alucard's energy flow into Naruto, and the previous No-Life King simply ceased to be. "What's going on?", she asked, trying to stay calm. The voices had just been silenced.

"Such a glorious moment...", Naruto repeated once again, a much more refined and controlled laugh coming from him now. "We should celebrate..."

"**What is he going on about, spirit?"**, Tsukiko asked, looking to Whedabra. She was surprised to she the Darkness spirit looking scared.

"Naruto, please! I don't-", she started

"A Song and a Dance... that will do nicely. And... much drinking...", he said, head coming up finally. His eyes were burning with a violent crimson glow that she had never seen before. Tsukiko found herself staring into the eyes of a true predator. The rocks floated closer to Naruto's overturned throne, beckoned by an invisible hand.

Naruto extended his hand towards Whedabra, a wicked grin on his face. The other was towards Tsukiko, much to the Bijou's surprise. Still feeling her powers restrained by whatever this power was, or perhaps the seal was still intact somewhere, she was at a loss for what to do. Tsukiko looked over to Whedabra to see what she was doing, if only to glean a hint.

She was rather shocked to see the young, nude girl gone. In her place was a fully grown woman, standing close to Naruto's height. Her skin was pale as snow, and her hair was the same color as the girl's, though it fell to the back of her knees. A black dress covered her form, though it clearly outlined her impressive bust and figure. The most startling features were the twin horns that pointed forward from the sides of her head and the acid-green eyes that stared at the Nosferatu with an almost sorrowful gaze. Tsukiko noted a long, lizard-like tail coming from the back of the dress, at least as long as the woman was tall.

"You know the price.", the woman said sorrowfully, an ethereal melody that flowed from her lips. The words sank into Tsukiko's ears like acid.

"**What is he doing?"**, Tsukiko growled, tired of being ignored.

"Come, Sing for me Tsukiko...", Naruto beckoned. He turned his attention back to Whedabra and smiled.

"**I will do no such-"**

"Dance, Ebon Queen."

The words silenced everything. Tsukiko felt everything shift about as Whedabra somehow began to radiate a shadowy aura. The raw power was staggering. Naruto turned to look at Tsukiko while the black aura condensed around his left forearm and hand. Tsukiko was almost frightened as he smiled at her, fangs gleaming. She knew what was coming; she was going to become like Whedabra. A Spirit bound to a master as a weapon.

She was somewhat disturbed that Naruto already knew the words to something she didn't think possible.

"Sing, Silver Queen."

The name caught her off-guard, to be sure, but she felt something click into place. The plateau of power known as Kyuubi seemed to fall beneath her as this name took hold in her mind. Fur stained red with blood shone silver, bearing the tint of the hunter's moon. She radiated her own aura, unable to stop it from coming out. It was a frightening, though thrilling experience as it coalesced around his right arm. She felt... powerful.

"Come, see the world through my eyes!", Naruto shouted, wicked grin spreading.

The world faded to black, yet turned a stark white at the same time. An Instant of an eternity later, it once more came into focus for Tsukiko.

She saw a pale human standing across from her in a glowing dome; the light was bothersome, but could hinder her. Her pride as a Bijou wouldn't allow it. The snake like man, for that is what he looked like, seem shocked that she was there, but her body was moving on it's own. She paused, and realized that it wasn't her body.

Naruto was Berserking, and she could experience the world though him. There was a whole new level of connection, however, though what felt like her own right arm. Both of his arms raised, brandishing twin war-talons. She saw the silver one upon his right arm and felt as though she was looking through a mirror. The midnight black counterpart on the left arm felt like Whedabra, and she could suddenly feel the spirit's presence, as though she was standing beside her. She seemed sad, but at the same time there was a sort of unholy fury about her presence.

The human spat out words that were lost on the vampire's ears, and thus Tsukiko; she felt her muscles tense for a moment, and then they were off. She found herself almost laughing in joy at the prospect of a kill.

The human was good, but he was scared now. The Grass-sword blocked many swipes, but as it cut along their arm, a hellhound of blood sprang forth, unaffected by the light. It caught the blade in it's mouth and snapped it in half. Tsukiko found it to be a very odd feeling, to have your own blood become a creature of violence and bloodlust.

The human moved away quickly, but the hound sprang from the wound the follow him, ever connected by what she felt was the tail. They came too, soon after the hound, and Tsukiko felt herself resonating with the same wicked joy and excitement as her two "Body-mates".

The broken blade foolishly cut the vampire two more times, spilling a torrent of blood that flooded the ground and tore off towards the man, sending pointed spires high into the air with the aim of impaling him.

"**This is existence! The life of the hunter!"**, she shouted, knowing that Whedabra and Naruto were the only ones to hear her. To her surprise, it was Whedabra that resonated with agreement; had there been time, Tsukiko might have pondered why. As it stood, there was a snake running for it's life.

It's trap was ineffective now, so it ran through the barrier that had kept the Nosferatu inside. Tsukiko felt a slight burn that was remedied in an instant as they flew through the barrier. Then she truly felt Whedabra's power.

They summoned every shadow nearby into attack; thousand eyed beasts cut off the snakes escape as they closed in, letting blood mix with shadow as their power grew. The man tried to do the fast-motion-jump again, but Whedabra called the man's own shadow to tear his arm off, distracting him for a mere moment.

The hunt was over.

Tsukiko felt a wave of almost orgasmic pleasure engulf her as her gauntlet buried itself in the snake man's chest; Whedabra didn't moan, though the connection let Tsukiko feel the pleasure that touched the Darkness spirit. Then a tremor hit them both. They felt their mouth open wide, and a second later it tore into Orochimaru's throat.

Agony and terror ripped through both of them, making them scream as they were assaulted by pain, fear, memories, and emotions that were not their own. They saw images of laboratories and corpses, felt emotions of betrayal and rage beyond measure, and saw a life flash before them. A wave of refreshing power washed over them, but if didn't make up for the trauma that they had felt.

Tsukiko and Whedabra realized, somewhat in a mix of awe and repulsion, that this is was Naruto felt every time he drank. He felt EVERYTHING. And he wanted more.

The blood lust was terrifying as he made the body take off towards Konaha, the shadows of the forest heeding his call. Whedabra tried to pull back from the connection, but was stuck as their body moved faster than a human could dream to. Tsukiko was, for some reason, terrified of being here. She pushed and pulled, but it did nothing as their vision cleared. They didn't know what was more terrifying: the fact that Naruto wanted to experience even more of the agony, or that he wasn't berserker anymore and still wanted to tear through the enemy.

It was... monstrous

**(Naruto)**

He felt their repulsion and ignored it, focusing on charging forth into the fray. The scent of blood and death beckoned him.

The gauntlets upon his arms thrilled him, being a true expression of who he was now; clawed fingers, and blades running along the outside of his forearms. Whedabra was elegant in a very angled and wicked way, while Tsukiko was elegance in a more smooth and flowing way. To him, it meant that he was to rip his enemies apart with his hands, with his strength, with the women that held his heart.

A flood of shadows followed him, and even the sky seemed to grow cloudy as he approached; it was almost as though the sun itself couldn't bear to look upon him.

He liked the thought.

Too long had he straddled the line. He had picked his side, and it felt wonderful. Orochimaru's soul had already lost itself in the waves of blood and agony within him, leaving his power to strengthen the beast that now charged towards Konaha.

His first target came into view, a smirk spreading unnaturally wide across his blood-stained face. The clearing was full of Kumo and Iwa ninja, apparently responsible for the giant snake in the distance. He burst through a few of them, quite literally tearing them to shreds with talon and fang before letting the shadowy wave consume them.

Black spears shot out and impaled several while their blood turned into hellish beasts that tore at the others. Naruto leaped at one and took her head clean off, laughing in the rain of blood as he jumped to another and tore into his throat, drinking as he ran towards even more of the ninja.

His shadow and hounds devoured what he didn't, giving him power boost after power boost, each and everyone coming with a wave of agony and pain that wasn't his. He felt the revulsion of his weapons, and embraced it now. This monster was who he was, and there was no point in hiding it.

Naruto laughed as he neared the snake, a wry grin on his lips as he made it's own shadow spear it to the ground. He jumped up, landing on it's head while his shadow tsunami hit Konaha's wall and the snake itself. He dug Tsukiko into the snake's head and ran forward, tearing it's head open. The other head roared in pain as the shadows began to lacerate it and it's own blood boiled and tore it's vein to pieces.

Naruto leaped from the nose of the first head and cleaved the second with a blade of bloody shadows, severing it. He let himself fall for a bit, aiming for a nearby building. The Konaha ninja were unharmed by the shadows, if a little disturbed, though they tore into any other ninja.

"It's amazing!", he cried in ecstasy as he rebounded off a building; he could feel every shadow and heartbeat withing Konaha. The wave began to encircle Konaha's wall as it's master dove into the fray itself.

The kumo jounin didn't know what hit him as Naruto crashed into him and torn him into several pieces with Whedabra; Tsukiko impaled one of his comrade and dragged her over to be drained. The spilled blood from the jounin formed two hell hounds alongside the shadows of the shreds; they lashed out at the nearby ninja.

He could feel fear, the terror of those who saw him. The Konaha ninja didn't attack because he killed only the Iwa an Kumo ninja, but he could fell their own revulsion. He didn't care about them; they were human. They didn't understand.

He tore down the street, laughing like a lunatic as he mutilated anything not wearing a Konaha headband. He could feel the mixture of pleasure and revulsion that both Tsukiko and Whedabra felt as he wielded them as weapons of war.

A large fireball was launched at him, careening down the street. He feared no fire, and he let it strike him. Oh it was warm, and the shock wave tingled, but it was a minor annoyance. It tore his body to shreds, but blood held together until the shadows of the smoke let him reform.

Judging from the expression on the Oto ninja's face, he didn't expect a vampire to come hurtling out of the smoke cloud and tear out his throat. More blood and another soul came into his possession, followed by more as hell hounds and shadows began to act on orders within the walls. It was a grand thing to him, to be in the ocean of fear and pain.

"Naruto?", a familiar voice called, gaining his attention as he lashed out and took off another ninja's head. His gaze settled upon Itachi, standing amoung bodies and close to a slightly shaking Hinata. Said Hyuuga was shocked to see her master in such a state.

His blood soaked hair warped and twisted in a chaotic wind that just wasn't there, though it seemed to delve into shadows when it got the chance. His countenance was stained with blood, and only a ragged pair of ninja pants covered him, save for the gauntlets.

"Good hunting, brother!", Naruto shouting in greeting, turning and darting off to continue his wholesale slaughter.

"I-Itachi-san... what was wrong with Naruto-kun?", she asked, trembling. She had come off her rage a few minutes ago, possibly due to the strain, and the reality of what she had done caught up with her. Seeing her master covered in blood and looking eager to spill more didn't help. She didn't know if she'd ever seen someone with that level of insanity in their eyes.

"That... would the the No-Life King.", Itachi replied, gripping his knife tightly. He could sense something big about to happen. "Things are about to get freaky in here..."

Hinata wasn't sure if she wanted Itachi to explain. Something that could disturb someone like the Uchiha was... a frightening thing, indeed. The Insane laughter that seemed to ring throughout Konaha didn't help.

Naruto could feel that the shadow wave had encircled the wall of Konaha, and decided to prey on the humans in a final grand show. He tore though ninja after ninja, heading for the top of the pole in the center of town square.

A kumo shinobi tried to take him out with a raiton jutsu only to find that, despite hitting him, Naruto wasn't overly affected by the jutsu. The ninja, on the other hand, found Tsukiko to be very effective in cutting him in half. A few more shinobi and kunoichi got in his way, making him smile even more as he approached.

Their shadows nailed their feet to the ground, surprising them for the instant it took him to close the gap and use Tsukiko and Whedabra to rip most of them in half; hell hounds of their own blood devoured their bodies as he leaped forward, the pole in sight. Decapitating another Oto kunoichi as he passed, he jumped into the air and landed gracefully on the pole.

With grace and method derived from a once-in-a-lifetime situation, Naruto strengthened the synchronism between the three of them, and used Tsukiko's chakra and Whedabra's shadows simultaneously.

The wave around the wall began to rise, slowly encompassing Konaha and flooding it with the bloody shadows. They killed the light and muted the sounds they touched, leaving those inside blind, deaf, and mute. Just before it reached him, Naruto uttered the technique's name. His whisper cut though the silence and reached every ear in Konaha.

"Aria of the Moonless Night."

Itachi felt it as soon as he heard the words. Naruto was one with the darkness; he was everywhere and nowhere at once, and the world was silent as he conducted the orchestra of the assassin.

"_An Aria sung by the greatest assassin of Konaha..."_, he thought as Hinata latched onto his arm to know he was there. He didn't pay much attention. "_The words are the only thing that assassins can say... nothing. Silence reigning in the dark. Aria of the Moonless Night indeed, my friend."_

Itachi could feel the deaths as they started to add up. Naruto was everywhere, killing everyone and drinking their blood or just flat out slaughtering them. The more oppressive the aura became, the more Itachi knew how much the nosferatu was killing. He would find it amazing if no Konaha ninja were killed during the song, but he didn't know how much control Naruto had with such power.

Then, it happened.

All of a sudden, the silence was lifted, and the shadows rose up in a maelstrom of wings. It spiraled skyward, capturing the eyes of every ninja in the village as it moved towards the Hokage monument. There, atop the mountain, the swarm spiraled into a center point with a seemingly endless number. Terrified gasps and screams rang throughout the village as waves of blood rush towards the mountain, and then flowed _up_ it's face. Blood and bats met in the center, creating a humanoid creature until finally, with the last bat and drop, a monster stood.

He was 7'9", and had long, crimson hair that bore silver streaks though it, weaving wildly though the crimson waves. Bright crimson eyes glowed from a sharp, ashen-skinned face. His garb was much like his hair; crimson and silver, though black was present as well.: A tunic, a trenchcoat, trousers and boots covered his form, and two katanas rested at his hips; one with a black sheath, the other with crimson with silver designs.

He looked over the village, knowing every enemy to be dead and bolstering his own strength. It boiled behind locked doors that wouldn't open against his own iron will. He felt rage and agony, pity and sorrow, and no small amount of joy.

Hundreds looked up to him standing there and shuddered. Naruto turned and walked off, knowing that he was now the monster of Konaha, and that he no longer walked the line. He was Nosferatu, the No-Life King. He had no worries about being human, for he was himself and nothing more. That which was a mockery of human behavior was merely a part of him, and that which was the behavior of a predator was also a part of him.

For the time being, however, he had a date with his death, and he didn't want to be late.

**(Later)**

Naruto sighed, sitting on the bed on the upper floor of the Namikaze mansion. His shadows let him know that Konaha was bouncing back in record time; his Aria had wiped out the enemies completely, and they were taking advantage of that. Tsunade had tried to send Itachi to get Naruto so she could talk to him, but the Uchiha refused.

The moonlight shone in through the large doorway that led to the balcony. Naruto sat in only his pants, letting the moonlight strike his flesh. Itachi was wise to stay away.

He felt arms wrap around his torso and a set of large breasts press into his back. A chin rested on his left shoulder.

"I guess there are worse ways to die.", Naruto said finally, looking over to find Whedabra's eyes locked onto his, though he saw her wry smirk.

"You're already dead.", she whispered, color coming to her cheeks as she let one hand drift down and slide under his waistline. Her voice, for some reason, was a more normal. "But you still have to give me a life; that's the price."

It was a odd moment for the vampire; he had been expecting to be ended, not to have this happen. "This" being Whedabra's older form, what could be called her true form, telling him that he had to get her pregnant since she couldn't kill him... or didn't want to kill him.

"Thought you said it worked on the undead.", he replied, trying to keep and even face as she gripped him.

"...Pretend that I lied...", she countered. "You... will join me as a lover now. Until you die, however... I shall be your wife. That is the human term, no?", she asked, starting a steady motion.

"Why?", He asked, somewhat confused, "I felt how revolted you felt when-"

"You... are a monster.", another voice called from the other side of the room.

Naruto looked over to see a tall woman, much the same height as himself and Whedabra, leaning against the bedpost. She had long, flowing, red hair and deep, ruby eyes. Her skin was fair and smooth, though he noted several markings on her nude form. Nine tails came from her tail bone, and fox ears were in place of normal ones.

"Tsukiko?", he asked, stunned. She crawled, somewhat clumsily in the human-esque body, over the bed to sit beside the vampire.

"You are a monster that terrifies us...", she repeated, flushed. "A predator of the highest teir... and as such..."

"Old instincts declare you the best mate we can find here. Congratulations.", Whedabra whispered in his ear. She seemed rather eager.

"Instincts?"

"I was a dragon at one point.", Whedabra answered, smirking. "Tonight though... let us dance with the devil. You are the biggest, baddest monster around... that means you get the biggest, baddest women."

Naruto laughed, fangs gleaming alongside his eyes.

"Just like that? You hate me twelve hours ago, and now you want kids?", he asked Tsukiko, who had begun to press herself against him. She growled lightly.

"You are the strongest male I've ever met. I don't like you, but you'll give me the strongest kits possible. So I'll tolerate you.", she replied, trying to keep up the growl. Naruto rolled his eyes. "Instincts... are hard to ignore."

"You know, I'd argue normally. But you know what? Fuck it.", he replied happily. The village was safe, he was alive, and he had two hot women trying to screw him. "I think I've earned a vacation."

"Don't think you'll be getting much rest. I've been trying to fuck you for years... and I want to make up for lost time...", Whedabra growled, her own deeper than Tsukiko's. She threw a look at the fox-woman, "Care to join us?"

"Watch it, Spirit."

Naruto supposed there were going to be consequences later, but he was to weary to care. He had killed his mark, and he had no complaints about the next two bedding him.

Besides, there would be more time for killing later. Nights unsuited for love, and more suited for Song and Dance.

* * *

And thus ends the tale of the Aria of the Moonless Night.

Three things really quickly:

1: I'm sorry for the shitty fight scenes.

2: I know that the part with Whedabra, Naruto, and Tsukiko fighting as on was confusing as all hell.

3: I'm sorry if Tsukiko and Whedabra seem too... OOC at the end. Instincts, however, say that the strongest male gives the best kids. Naruto is the only one who scares then(meaning he's very strong), and is thus a prime choice. For humans, instincts can be ignored. For Whedabra, she can choose to ignore them, but chose to listen. About half of Tsukiko's actions are dictated by instinct, this was one of them.

_**THERE WILL BE A SEQUEL!**_ Right now, it looks to be called "Symphony of the Hunter's Moon".

Well...there's not a lot more to say. I might do an epilogue, but I doubt it. Especially since there's going to be a sequel.

Farewell, My most Freaky of Darlings. It's been a grand adventure.


End file.
